Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I know we are both going through some things right now and I'm sorry I can't be the person you want me to be.

DA,

For the first time in 2 years, depression has come back with avengeance. Tonight is not a good night.

Dear A,

I did not need to feel like this again. Not now, not ever. But I'll keep working through my imperfections.

dear anon

i and others may be 100% on board with this but how the fucking hell do i even begin to talk to YOU about it???

Dear Anon,

I hated being forced to call the police on you, you're family and I do care. But your behavior was well beyond acceptable and you couldn't be respectful. Heaven knows I try to let you do your own thing, but when you try to harm me, how can I not completely reject you? No family bond will compel me to be on your side when you act the way you did. I wish you hadn't been that crazy. I wish we could've worked it out. But you didn't even show your normal restraint, you were too wrapped up in your own drunken paranoia to be reasonable.

I'm doing what I must. I just wish I didn't have to do it.

Dear anon...
Did you see that? There are many people who are coming for you, not just from my very own country, but also from many more from across the world. So better stay strong and keep on becoming the light, no matter what's in your way. I would support you as well. May the true justice prevail!!!

Dear Anon,
Stop giving me unrealistic deadlines to meet.
Especially when I haven't been granted the proper privileges to do the task you've asked of me.
If you want me to do something, at least give me a reasonable time frame to accomplish it, jeez.

Dear anonymous,

You seriously need to stop bickering back and forth with your friend about politics and coming to me to raise an issue when you disagree with a comment they make. This is between you and your friend, and I should not have to get involved.

Dear anonymous,

Same goes for you as I said above.

da,

if you're gonna keep this up then do us all a favour and move out asap

ty

Dear anon...

I can see it.
I've been waiting for the day that we can have great times again just like old times, whether we're going outside of our home like most of the time, hanging out, having a great vacay on next Christmas, and much more in the future. My family and I will be looking forward to see you again in tip-top shape next morning. After all, you've promised me. c:

da,

i may be in over my head but there's something special about you. for the first time in forever i feel like i've found someone who's genuinely a good person and i am so anxious to get to really know you, and see if there could be something between us. i can see the differences, but as much as they seem to point to us not working out, i can't help but be optimistic that we'll have something beautiful. can't wait to see you in the fall.

Dear PedoSADISTS, er I mean, Anonymous, why do you do this to children? I understand you were treated badly when you were children yourself, but how could you have ever grown so cold to make them suffer like that? Can you find no other outlet? Does somebody need to create an outlet so you don't do that to children anymore? Virtual Reality, maybe? No matter what research and thought I've tried to put into understanding your mind, I still just don't get it. :(

Dear everyone who doubts me pretty much!

I know how you guys think. I know you guys think that yeah working a shitty job forever is great but I can't do that. That's the life for other people, not for me. I mean I'm not even that good at that. Yeah I give great customer service but I'm not good at much else lol. Technical things confuse me, other things overwhelm me, and maths just destroys me. I know people will likely think "sooo why are you going with photography and not journalism". But that was what I THOUGHT years ago. Yes, it's part of my personality type - of course that sort of stuff interests me, but doesn't mean it's for me. There's no way I could be a journalist, that's not me, and that's not the me I want to be.

At first it was embarrassing telling people that I'm not going to become a journalist and instead working retail but that's because I didn't know photography was a possibility. And now hearing that you don't believe that I can charge as much as I will be... when you don't even KNOW what a good photo is in the first place. I show you my stuff and you're like "ohhh okay..." no. It's good. I know it's good. It's not perfect, but I'll get there. Like just bloody believe that I've got this - that despite anyone's concerns I know what I'm doing. And hey if I get desperate I have an AWESOME resume so if I really tried... getting a job in a pinch isn't that hard, it's just SUCH a pain.

I know I've got people on my side, and people who believe in me. But... I don't need this because I barely believe in myself half the time lmao I mean saying you'll hand out my cards to everyone and say "she'll photograph anything and she's really cheap" that just undervalues my work. Anyone can point a camera at someone and take a photo - if they have great gear and nothing else they can get nice photos. Anyone can do that for a living if they want. But I want more - I want my photos to have the edge and be incredible.

I know I can do this... eventually. I'm gonna show y'all that I got this, that I can be as good as I desire. And I'm going to have a wonderful, successful life... because there's absolutely nothing else I'd want to do. Well. That's a lie. Honestly I'd find almost any job fun because I make things fun and find things fun but still.

Believe in me and I know I can get the work.

dear anonymous,
i'm terrified. i don't want to grow up. i don't know what i'm going to do with my life. i don't know what my purpose is in life still and..everyone out there, so many of my friends are getting married or engaged or having children and i'm sitting here just about to college and still trying to figure out who i am, what i want to do in life. i still have so much to learn. i'm terrified of starting college. i'm scared i wont make friends, or that i'll get behind. i'm just scared of so much stuff.

i don't know how to ease my troubles. theres only like, 3 people i know that could ease my troubles and only one of them somewhat knows of my existence. it sucks. i just.. wish life was easier.

Dear anon,

Thanks for the advice you gave me in the dream just now, even though it's been years after I was working with you.

da,

cuzza you i'm gone a be afraid ta wear any thing pretty out in public. why dose me wearing what i want bother ya so much? ? what hurt did it cause? thanks for tellin me "kys" over sum fabric. like my self esteem can get lower.

da,

ya comfort me when things like this happen but recently ya lauhed in my face when i told ya i like mermaids?? hypocrite. i really hate that i still hav feelings for you. i kno i shoudn't but yer a hard habit ta break.

da,

thanks for allways comfortin me an buying me things. but ya kno what i'd really like is if ya gave me a sine instead a stringin me a long an makin me chase.. .. we both kno i'm a submissive one an love dosen't hav a pricetag. kiss me allready!!

da,

i love you. get well soon. if i coud only trade places with ya i woud. an ya know it.

dear anonymous,
why do you still hate me for things ive done in middle school and that i sincerely regret? ive tried apologizing and tried to contact you to see if we could at least come to some sort of civil truce or agreement of some sort but instead you block me as soon as you see any trace of me because you still choose to hold a petty grudge over me over things that happened basically 5, 6 years ago. that's sad. i hope someday you choose to get over your grudge and contact me. however knowing that you still hold one against me even now, it probably won't happen anytime soon sadly.

Dear Anon

I'm so sorry I'm Just a timid, weak waste of space who let you and others down.

Dear Anonymous,

There's still so much I wanted to tell you about everything I've been feeling. There's still so much that I will continue to withhold not because I am afraid of a rejection but because I am afraid that whatever becomes next will drastically alter our perspectives of one another. You're so supportive of my endeavors for years now and I have yet to pay you back kindly. Every day I'll constantly tell myself to move on from what I am feeling, but geninuely, I don't have a damn clue if I'll completely get over it. Guess what I actually wanted to say was that... I love you. I never want to come off as a creeper, obsessed, or the words of similar negative connotation. And I swear on my life that if given the chance, I will make sure I pay you back for making me feel this way. Goddamn, stupid, ugly feelings. >:( Part of what makes us human I suppose. Bleh.