The Clubhouse
Life Mental health club Page 17
Started by Greninja, use Water Shuriken! July 31st, 2018 5:32 AM- 25418 views
- 406 replies
Oh I can relate to the last one and it’s my go-to answer whenever therapists ask about intrusive thoughts of self harm or such. I don’t have any real tangible thoughts down those lines but I find myself often kinda sat in a cloud of not really enjoying existing, or seeing the point in it. Waking up and wishing you hadn’t but also not having any real desire or want to do anything about it.
Fun stuff
Fun stuff
The current state of the world terrifies me. The world has just gone insane. I thought last year was bad. 2022 is shaping to be a nightmare with no happy way out, with all that is happening around the world -- I feel like humanity is peddling backwards into the worst of our recent history as fast as possible. I'm just constantly shaking my head in disbelief and questioning the future I dreamed of. Sometimes I feel like I've lost all faith in society making a positive change. And this decade is a critical point for making change. That's even scarier. Especially with threats of war/fear mongering...
I try to hold onto hope, because I know good things are happening out there, but when you never, ever see them, when all you ever hear about is sheer disaster and tragedy and greed and psychopathy, hope is very easily forgotten.
Still. I have to keep reminding myself to take each day as it comes and enjoy the present without drowning myself in worry. I find that stepping out into nature helps... especially hidden little gems. Everything is silent and peaceful and life goes on around you. These moments are so precious.
I suppose a huge part of my anxiety is being in a long-distance relationship, where world events can keep us apart for years longer, potentially (as the pandemic has done--we were going to meet up in June 2020...). So I keep desperately wishing he could come here to Australia. :(
I try to hold onto hope, because I know good things are happening out there, but when you never, ever see them, when all you ever hear about is sheer disaster and tragedy and greed and psychopathy, hope is very easily forgotten.
Still. I have to keep reminding myself to take each day as it comes and enjoy the present without drowning myself in worry. I find that stepping out into nature helps... especially hidden little gems. Everything is silent and peaceful and life goes on around you. These moments are so precious.
I suppose a huge part of my anxiety is being in a long-distance relationship, where world events can keep us apart for years longer, potentially (as the pandemic has done--we were going to meet up in June 2020...). So I keep desperately wishing he could come here to Australia. :(
The sea waves are my evening gown
And the sun on my head is my crown
I made this queendom on my own
And all the mountains are my throne
And the sun on my head is my crown
I made this queendom on my own
And all the mountains are my throne
I’m.. not well.
Learned of yet another person who I introduced into the drug culture has died of “addiction related reasons”. Even worse, I just discovered that one of the people I already knew had passed (around 2020) had a son. There is now a fatherless child in this world, and I contributed to the reason he has to live with that trauma.
I just haven’t felt right since. All of my instincts say, “this is all your fault,” but at the same time my own self loathing doesn’t allow me to pretend I’m important enough to have played any significant role in the lives of these people. Still, somewhere in there is a middle ground that represent the truth, and that inescapable fact is.. agony.
Learned of yet another person who I introduced into the drug culture has died of “addiction related reasons”. Even worse, I just discovered that one of the people I already knew had passed (around 2020) had a son. There is now a fatherless child in this world, and I contributed to the reason he has to live with that trauma.
I just haven’t felt right since. All of my instincts say, “this is all your fault,” but at the same time my own self loathing doesn’t allow me to pretend I’m important enough to have played any significant role in the lives of these people. Still, somewhere in there is a middle ground that represent the truth, and that inescapable fact is.. agony.
girlfriend ♥ colours
boyfriend ♥ ivysaur
tokyodrift / starwalker / icycatelf / megan / starlight
sister ♥ caite-chan
Money is a trigger for me rn. Having the economic insecurity that I do makes me experience a lot of worry and tension. I have student loan debt, medical bills and a disabled dependent mother to carry the cost of living for, besides all the usual utility bills. I'm really feeling the price of inflation as well when I go to the store and try to buy groceries and other necessities. Everything has gone up, except wages. The money I earn is in fact less this month than I needed because my hours were reduced.
Some extra expense is also always coming up, the roof needs to be fixed this month, dental work next month, last month my dog had to have labwork done and surgery. What little money I try to save is constantly decimated. I do things on the side to make ends meet like customise dolls, consign some of my clothes, sell old books, but things are still bad right now and I'm getting overwhelmed. I felt scared and miserable looking at my bank account last night. I want to scream from frustration and anxiety.
In the past my dad has helped me with money, but he has problems of his own atm with legal battles and lots of taxes he owes, so I'm on my own until I get paid at the end of the month.
May is also one of those terrible times of year for me like the Christmas season because it exerts so much pressure to go out and buy gifts, graduations presents, Mothers day and birthdays-- every other woman in my family would be born during this time of year. The strain of shopping for presents pretty much every week, even small things like 20 dollars worth, is accumulating. I'm dreading invitations to activities like going to the movies or dinner because it will cost me an arm and a leg, yet I don't want to not celebrate with loved ones on a special day. I'm stuck in lose-lose siuations, and things that should be happy occasions become sources of worry, irritation and guilt, and I don't like having to preoccupy myself with small petty things like this, it's not who I am.
Some extra expense is also always coming up, the roof needs to be fixed this month, dental work next month, last month my dog had to have labwork done and surgery. What little money I try to save is constantly decimated. I do things on the side to make ends meet like customise dolls, consign some of my clothes, sell old books, but things are still bad right now and I'm getting overwhelmed. I felt scared and miserable looking at my bank account last night. I want to scream from frustration and anxiety.
In the past my dad has helped me with money, but he has problems of his own atm with legal battles and lots of taxes he owes, so I'm on my own until I get paid at the end of the month.
May is also one of those terrible times of year for me like the Christmas season because it exerts so much pressure to go out and buy gifts, graduations presents, Mothers day and birthdays-- every other woman in my family would be born during this time of year. The strain of shopping for presents pretty much every week, even small things like 20 dollars worth, is accumulating. I'm dreading invitations to activities like going to the movies or dinner because it will cost me an arm and a leg, yet I don't want to not celebrate with loved ones on a special day. I'm stuck in lose-lose siuations, and things that should be happy occasions become sources of worry, irritation and guilt, and I don't like having to preoccupy myself with small petty things like this, it's not who I am.
Name: Narcissus
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
I got Haxorus on "What Dragon-Type Pokemon are you?" https://quotev.com/quiz/5077163
I kinda know how you feel Sam, financial insecurity is something that has been eating at me for years, and has only gotten worse in recent months.
I've never made much money in my life (I think the most I've every made in a single year is like $12,000, which is practically nothing), my income has never been a stable one, and attempts at getting a job that pays a decent, stable income have not gone well. And it was one thing when I still lived with my parents, but now that I don't anymore, the pressure has increased like 10-fold. There's all these new expenses that I have to pay and the only reason I can live in this apartment in the first place is because I'm sharing it with my sisters so we're splitting the bills. But then there's the inflation, and how gas prices are the highest they've been in years for no good reason. Like, I'm legit worried that someday I'm just gonna die a miserable death starving to death in the streets or something.
And besides the fear, anxiety, and worthlessness this makes me feel, I also sometimes get a bit pissed off thinking about we live in one of the wealthiest countries the world has ever seen, yet millions of people seriously have to worry about if they can afford the most absolute bare minimum basic necessities like food/water/shelter.
And that's hardly the only problem that is or could be affecting (the mental health of) you or me or anyone else on this psyducking planet
I've never made much money in my life (I think the most I've every made in a single year is like $12,000, which is practically nothing), my income has never been a stable one, and attempts at getting a job that pays a decent, stable income have not gone well. And it was one thing when I still lived with my parents, but now that I don't anymore, the pressure has increased like 10-fold. There's all these new expenses that I have to pay and the only reason I can live in this apartment in the first place is because I'm sharing it with my sisters so we're splitting the bills. But then there's the inflation, and how gas prices are the highest they've been in years for no good reason. Like, I'm legit worried that someday I'm just gonna die a miserable death starving to death in the streets or something.
And besides the fear, anxiety, and worthlessness this makes me feel, I also sometimes get a bit pissed off thinking about we live in one of the wealthiest countries the world has ever seen, yet millions of people seriously have to worry about if they can afford the most absolute bare minimum basic necessities like food/water/shelter.
And that's hardly the only problem that is or could be affecting (the mental health of) you or me or anyone else on this psyducking planet
Nah ンン
“No, I... I have to be strong. Everyone expects me to."
@Sam and Nah:
I'm so sorry to hear. It's already hard enough having to deal with all these crisis as is. You living in a country that is so utterly broken that you feel like you're trapped in hell just breaks my heart. I do hope you two find something good happening to you that can lift your spirits at least a little bit. :(
I'm so sorry to hear. It's already hard enough having to deal with all these crisis as is. You living in a country that is so utterly broken that you feel like you're trapped in hell just breaks my heart. I do hope you two find something good happening to you that can lift your spirits at least a little bit. :(
I kinda know how you feel Sam, financial insecurity is something that has been eating at me for years, and has only gotten worse in recent months.
I've never made much money in my life (I think the most I've every made in a single year is like $12,000, which is practically nothing), my income has never been a stable one, and attempts at getting a job that pays a decent, stable income have not gone well. And it was one thing when I still lived with my parents, but now that I don't anymore, the pressure has increased like 10-fold. There's all these new expenses that I have to pay and the only reason I can live in this apartment in the first place is because I'm sharing it with my sisters so we're splitting the bills. But then there's the inflation, and how gas prices are the highest they've been in years for no good reason. Like, I'm legit worried that someday I'm just gonna die a miserable death starving to death in the streets or something.
And besides the fear, anxiety, and worthlessness this makes me feel, I also sometimes get a bit pissed off thinking about we live in one of the wealthiest countries the world has ever seen, yet millions of people seriously have to worry about if they can afford the most absolute bare minimum basic necessities like food/water/shelter.
And that's hardly the only problem that is or could be affecting (the mental health of) you or me or anyone else on this psyducking planet
Can I give you a Zekrom hug Nah?I've never made much money in my life (I think the most I've every made in a single year is like $12,000, which is practically nothing), my income has never been a stable one, and attempts at getting a job that pays a decent, stable income have not gone well. And it was one thing when I still lived with my parents, but now that I don't anymore, the pressure has increased like 10-fold. There's all these new expenses that I have to pay and the only reason I can live in this apartment in the first place is because I'm sharing it with my sisters so we're splitting the bills. But then there's the inflation, and how gas prices are the highest they've been in years for no good reason. Like, I'm legit worried that someday I'm just gonna die a miserable death starving to death in the streets or something.
And besides the fear, anxiety, and worthlessness this makes me feel, I also sometimes get a bit pissed off thinking about we live in one of the wealthiest countries the world has ever seen, yet millions of people seriously have to worry about if they can afford the most absolute bare minimum basic necessities like food/water/shelter.
And that's hardly the only problem that is or could be affecting (the mental health of) you or me or anyone else on this psyducking planet
I'm so sorry to hear about your worsening financial straits, the anxiety it's bringing you and toll on your self-esteem. I think to be afraid is reasonable and basic survival instincts, because these are situations where we're not really safe, if hunger or homelessness seems like something that it could potentially come to.
I have struggled with feelings like I'm nothing too, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that with a media and society constantly communicating that our buying power is what counts. Our worth isn't in our monetary value though, and not having money isn't something to be ashamed of, it's the system that's the shame because It shouldn't be this hard in a world superpower for everyday people like us to try to carve out an existence with some dignity. You have every right to be angry about how corrupt the structure, and it's good to remember how many of us are going through similar things because it puts into perspective the kind of world we have, so that we're not so hard on ourselves because what's wrong is bigger than just us.
I appreciate you telling me some of what you've been going through, and having the chance to relate to eachother and reach out here. Though things are difficult, they can improve and I'm glad that you and your sisters have eachother at least, and I'm hoping that things start looking up for you in the near future. <3
@Sam and Nah:
I'm so sorry to hear. It's already hard enough having to deal with all these crisis as is. You living in a country that is so utterly broken that you feel like you're trapped in hell just breaks my heart. I do hope you two find something good happening to you that can lift your spirits at least a little bit. :(
Come here Megan! I'm giving you a Slowpoke hug. Thanks for giving me some love, I want you to have some back. I'm so sorry to hear. It's already hard enough having to deal with all these crisis as is. You living in a country that is so utterly broken that you feel like you're trapped in hell just breaks my heart. I do hope you two find something good happening to you that can lift your spirits at least a little bit. :(
I feel more clear-headed now. Having uncorked a little of what I've been bottling up this month. The problems are still there, but there are other things in life that I can focus on and enjoy like you mentioned, even in times of hardships. Both of you lift my spirits. <3
Name: Narcissus
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
I got Haxorus on "What Dragon-Type Pokemon are you?" https://quotev.com/quiz/5077163