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Answer the question above... TWISTED EDITION!

Attended a big fundraiser featuring some snobby political officials. Would probably be delivering a speech at this moment. Spoke about rising inequality and the struggles of an average, honest politician. Ate it up like birthday cake at a seven year old's party.

Picked up some great dirt from that event. Did you know that a certain senator TPed their opponents' houses a few times? Publicly blamed "rowdy teenagers" and segued into society's moral decay. Complements a few choice e-mails. Ought to leak these out to media. Aged like fine wine.

Do you collect anything?
 
The one who is to blame for is Megan VII.

Did you find something that day on that spot?
 
All I found at the spot marked by that treasure map was shattered dreams. My own 😔
Either pirates never buried their treasure or someone dug it up already. Or someone sold me a fake map....

How do you set the table?
 
I only put the table and decorations on there and it got set automatically.

Do you know where Sasuke is? Dattebayo.
 
I left it inside a dictionary while I was trying to figure out what that word meant.

How much water can you drink?
 
Stop roaming around my home please or I'm calling the police >:(

Can you buy a few eggs and onions for me please?
 
But how would I get them to you? I mean, you'll call the cops on me if I go near your house! D=
So.... I could, but I wouldn't be able to hand them to you.
Wait a second.... this was a ruse all along huh! You send me to fetch you something so that you can call the police on me and get me locked up D=
What are you planning to do to my belongings while I'm locked up? 😱
But the jokes on you! You already wired me the money and I'm buying chocolate with it! 🤤

Do you like to cook?
 
I tried to resurrect some dead hopes, but they died the minute after.

Do you speak Latin?
 
Because the door is locked from the inside and I have to open it. *Unlocks the Door* Now it works fine.

"Why don't Sasuke loves me?"
 
About halfway. Saw a cat on the other side. Barreled right through the glass but got stuck on the frame. Never expected to have to literally butter up a dog. Leads to a bath as well, and therefore the smell of a wet buttered dog. Fails to understand why someone wanted submarine-style windows on a house, also.

What is a good icebreaker question for a group of new employees?
 
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"So how long have you been enslaved by the system?" Nothing better to get to a common ground than complaining about your employer making a profit off of your hard work while giving you the bare minimum to survive. It works best during breaks, especially when you boss is right next to you.

You promised me to buy that doll for me, so why did you change your mind, you meany? :(
 
"I like Slaking".
The poor man couldn't handle it.

Have you seen dinosaurs lately?
 
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