Hm. Scheduled it for 3 PM. Needs to run pre-parade checks. Includes inspecting the motors, wheels, headlights, outstanding parking tickets, driver sobriety, glove box organization, fuzzy dice, map of the route, emergency first aid kits, and fuel level. Usually takes a while.
Moves onto the band next. Cannot stand six feet apart. Spreads the band too thin otherwise. Requires proof of a Covid test. Heard about fakes. Demands thorough scrutiny. Will need their name, date of birth, phone number, date of Covid test, type of Covid test, recent contacts in the last week, vitamin D levels, a reference, job experience, mother's maiden name, two lines of credit, security code, shininess of instrument (where applicable), and a sobriety test. (How do you expect a band to play if it cannot walk straight?)
Deals with the route after that. Blocks off all traffic there. Leads to a dispute with one person. Takes seven minutes to shout them down, on average. Scours the route for trash and impediments. Transitions to calling in the city to fill potholes. Dries quite slowly.
Finished all the checks. Probably became hungry by now. Considers this the perfect time to launch the parade. Should be at about 6:30 PM. Goes on for 90 minutes. Breaks for dinner after that, inevitably.
Scheduled a flight out of town for 7:00 PM. Ought to be able to make it to the airport in 30 minutes. Should be one state over before anyone realizes about the stolen credit card information. Perfect.
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Why do audiences clap to express approval?