Death Reel

[Her]

You wake up in an unfamiliar setting. You are now at the hands of the Roulette Killer, maybe an unnamed senator from Texas who may or may not have been recently reelected. He is very sweaty and it drips down his expressionless and unidentifiable red mask. He is a lunatic without any hope of rehabilitation, but he has a form of control. He has a method in his lunacy: what Lady Luck defines your fate to be. He will spin a dial and judge you accordingly. The Roulette Killer has ensured that you will not escape his basement of fear if you are unlucky enough to fall prey to a bad spin of the roulette.

The last number of your post count determines your fate. Good luck.

• 0 - Coated in layers and layers of candle wax until you are but a living artwork. You die of asphyxiation.
• 1 - Shotgun to the chest. Instantaneous.
• 2 - Free to go. You cannot report his identity due to his mask, but you can report a faint smell of butter.
• 3 - He has acquired a Facehugger egg. It goes on your face. The results are not good.
• 4 - Feeds you to his greyhounds. They do not like the taste of Doritos lingering in your throat.
• 5 - Free to go, but missing a limb of your choosing.
• 6 - Chainsaw. It is not fast.
• 7 - The Roulette Killer slips when making his way to the dial and drops his cigarette on an oil puddle he had been meaning to clean up. The flames spread instantly. You die a slow death of burns, but so does he.
• 8 - You are forcefed butter and stuffing until you become a human foie gras dish. Long pig becomes the number one dish in his household.
• 9 - You die, but it is of a cardiac arrest during the initial drugging to take you to the basement. You do not suffer.

How did you fare?

 

[MotionBlack]

As my post count with this post added is currently at 12, the roulette would land on the number 2 which isn't bad, but I don't think I'll eating toast with butter ever again.

 

[Arcaneum]

Hmmmmmm well this will be interesting

 

[Zeostar]

3 if this post doesn't count. Facehuggers are sort of cute. They remind me of a cross between scorpions and spiders. They also make me think of those deep sea fish that live in trenches. Trying to remove the egg would probably make it worse, so I would accept what happens next.

After this post would be 4. Likely they immediately go after my throat, so it wouldn't be prolonged suffering.

For most of these, if I was told beforehand what would happen, I would probably just have a heart attack on the spot.

 

[gimmepie]

Welp, let's find out.
Right, post count isn't in my postbit. Oooooooone sec.

Edit: Shotgun to the chest as of this post. I'll take it.

 

[Nah]

At the time of this post it ends in a 1, so death by shotgun for me

Suppose I'm somewhat lucky, as it could've been a lot worse. Though I was also one away from getting away for free....

 

[Homeskulled Kid]

Oh, fabulous!

... unless this infernal post counts, which means I am condemned to a deserter's fate. A Texan deserter's fate. I don't think real militaries used shotguns. Unless they did. Fuck I can't remember.

 

[professor plum]

at the time of this post, my post count ends in 9. i am grateful to die this way as to not have to hear him talk about cows made of butter

 

[Metriname]

1) shotgun to the chest
i mean, instant death isn't that bad

 

[Palamon]

2 - Free to go. You cannot report his identity due to his mask, but you can report a faint smell of butter.

well, it's better than dying by being shot, at least

 

[Cay]

8 im killing myself first i fucking hate butter

 

[Bay]

As of this post the last number should be a 6.

Chainsaw.

Welp, nice knowing all of you.

 

[gimmepie]

As of this post the last number should be a 6.

Chainsaw.

Welp, nice knowing all of you.

Me especially, I'm sure.