Depression

[Palamon]

...Would you say you deal with depression, or have in the past? How do you keep yourself from getting depressed, etc?

 

[pkmin3033]

How do I deal with depression? Generally, very poorly. I would say I don't deal with it at all, but as I'm currently still alive I'm evidently doing something right. I couldn't tell you what though, not even with the benefit of hindsight.

One day at a time...or one hour at a time. Or even one minute, if it comes down to that. My general reaction to these things is to shut myself off and withdraw entirely from everything and everyone until I can sort through things. It happens a lot. I prefer not to think of myself as depressed, if only because that locks it down as something I can't get rid of, and I don't think locking things down with labels ever really helps...well, it never helped me. If it helps other people, good for them I guess.

But I prefer to think of these things I can't reconcile as a current state of mind and not a state of being, because it gives me hope that I CAN reconcile them. It doesn't matter if it's false hope or not. I refuse to accept these things as a part of who I am. Admitting I am depressed, to me, would be admitting defeat. So that's one way I cope with it - outright denial. It's my brain, my reality, and that condition has no place in my life.

Suicide is actually quite a comforting thought at the worst of times, believe it or not. The knowledge that I can end my life if I choose, that I at least have control over something, encourages me to work through things and see if I can't exert some control over other things. I suppose that's a twisted way of seeing things, but...well, when you feel utterly powerless and worthless, you take whatever you can. I've used that a lot to claw my way back from wherever it is I go when I feel that way.

 

[gimmepie]

I have never been properly diagnosed but going solely by the things I've thought and felt, I think I've definitely experienced some degree of depression. It's weird because you expect it to creep up when you're at your worst, but half the time it hits you when everything is going great.

That being said, I think my anxiety is something I've had a lot more trouble with and has been a much more prominent issue in my life.

 

[Esper]

I deal with depression. The thing is, you can't really do anything to keep it from happening, from afflicting you. It's chemicals in your brain. All you can do is mitigate the effects. Keeping my body healthy seems to work... which isn't easy to do because depression can sap your will and energy so instead of being active, eating right, and sleeping soundly I might end up lazing around, gorging on junk, and tossing and turning all night. The best thing I've ever done about it was asking for help. You really can't fight it alone. I mean, you can, but you're going to struggle a lot more.

 

[Palamon]

Ah, depression...

I'm severely paranoid, and have a mood disorder, so my depression comes in cycles. It can sometimes last days, weeks and then calm down a bit. However, in the real world, I can easily hide my depression by pretending I'm okay, and I've been doing this for years now. It's something I'm accustomed to.

How do I "deal" with it? I... write violent stuff if I can't talk to anyone (online, what have you), but usually I just vent until I feel better. It really helps, since therapy never really helped me at all. =/ How can I keep my mood up? I suppose I try to think the positives, but it doesn't always work, so.

 

[mayunaise]

Simple. I dont think about it. If i start thinking about it, I think about something else.
When I do, I go irradic however, trying to justify my depressed thoughts, and it ends up spiraling down until either someone helps me, I pull myself out or I..yknow..do the thing where you try to not see sunrise again.

 

[天 (Caine)]

Depression is something that's difficult to deal with, especially when it's clinical. Telling someone to "not be depressed" is the same as telling someone who's been stabbed "not to bleed". I don't deal with it in the healthiest of ways, but I try to sleep it off or smoke a little bit of marijuana to help take away the pain, and yes, it's pain. It's just difficult to notice it if you don't know what to look for.

I sincerely hope that everyone in this thread overcomes their troubles and are able to live a happy, healthy life. Even if you need professional help, don't be embarrassed or scared about seeking help. It's no different than seeing a doctor to treat diabetes.

 

[PastelPhoenix]

Diagnosed and on meds here. I'm pretty okay, I've had my rough patches and I'm pretty bad at remembering my meds (my memory is horrible at morning and nights), but overall things have been pretty good. No major breaks for a while.

Hopefully it's actually a damaged thyroid like they think (chemo and radiation are fun, and the lasting impacts even more so!) which does mean taking pills for the foreseeable future, but that's better than the alternative, at least in my mind.

 

[Corrin]

Also Diagnosed with Depression as well as various other things, what a shit cocktail my mental health is.

Mine has drained my motivation completely, I just never feel like doing anything, and when I am doing something I want it to end. I wish It wasn't like this. I literally have to force myself to do anything.

 

[Bay]

But I prefer to think of these things I can't reconcile as a current state of mind and not a state of being, because it gives me hope that I CAN reconcile them. It doesn't matter if it's false hope or not. I refuse to accept these things as a part of who I am. Admitting I am depressed, to me, would be admitting defeat. So that's one way I cope with it - outright denial. It's my brain, my reality, and that condition has no place in my life.

I've heard from some folks how they cope with depression is telling themselves that "depression is a lie." Easier said than done, but sometimes when I know I'm being hit with depression/negative thoughts, I tell myself that.

There's also the constant questioning of life itself. Combined with my phobia of getting old, I always question whether or not life is continuously worth living. I'm still in my early 20s, but I feel like I should be in a different spot and in a different position in my life.

Like gimmepie I wasn't diagnosed with depression due to the costs as you mentioned, but man I know that feeling too well (I'm in my late 20s). It's especially hard when you compare yourself to your friends who are more successful.

 

[starseed galaxy auticorn]

I recently just learned that I had dealt with it, alongside anxiety. I didn't realize it then because I thought it was just the anxiety causing it. I never really knew they could actually combine themselves. Anyway though, I do take meds to control my depression/anxiety. The depression is no longer a problem for me as of late, but I still do deal with a shit ton of anxiety every now and then though. My dad also suffers from depression, and he takes medication as well.

Once in a while, I do suffer from bouts of depression. I get in moods where I start to realize I'll never be like others. I'll never be able to hold down a job or live on my own. I usually try not to let these things get me down by focusing on my abilities, but it can still be pretty hard though. :/

 

[Akriloth92]

I go through phases. Most of the time I'm feeling pretty good or normal, but it might be every 2 years, or maybe twice in a month sometimes. All I know is it rears it's ugly head. I cope by telling myself I know this isn't permanent and it's just chemicals in my brain.

 

[Belinda]

I was diagnosed with major depression last year, it's not easy to deal with. I've been off meds since last year after taking them for two months and a year before that I was on a low dose. Two medicines total. I really don't need medicine making me more suicidal, zombieish, or batshit crazy. I might give medicine another go but that's only if I was able to try a new one. Would need to discuss that with my doctor. I've been doing alright, enough to keep going in life but I feel as if everyday I have my bad moments especially at night. I used to feel sucidal almost every day but it's more tame and not as often now. I just know feeling sucidal almost everyday will eventually come back when I'm having a really bad time dealing with everything. I'm not happy with where my life is going at the moment and it just makes me more depressed if I'm honest. I was recommended to do therapy, but I really don't want to deal with a therapist just because I don't like airing my business with everyone. Right now I just try and be more social, have people more involved in my life; rather than sitting in my room because that will get me no where anyways. It helps a little to distract myself, but not enough. I feel as if anxiety since my childhood lead to depression and that's probably the case. I'm really not good with coping with depression, I'm just glad I'm still here today.

 

[Her]

Well, I have borderline personality disorder, so that's a whole other thing in itself. But a common co-occurring illness with BPD is major depression, which I also deal with. So fun things happening for Harley over here! The cause of the depression is a mixture of both genetics and my real life situation, so it's a bit hard to say exactly how to 'deal' with it. I doubt that I'll ever really be without it - it's just the way I'm wired, I think. Quite common throughout my family. But it got to be as bad as it was because of real life events, exacerbated due to continual stress and other severe events that I'd rather not talk about.

I was on meds for the depression for the longest time, years and years, and while it stabilised the worst of the depression, it never did much other than brief periods of stabilisation. I wasn't in a situation to change the real life problems that were contributing to the issue, so I had to rely on medication until that changed. Meanwhile, my metabolism had long since gone extinct and all those other lovely side-effects of SSRIs. The SSRIs certainly helped me exist, but saying I was doing anything more than that was greatly overexaggerating things. I have no issue with medication, I certainly needed it. However you have to be treated for the right thing in order for it to work.

But it has gotten better! The stars aligned and real life relented enough to let me breathe and get some things in order. I had also been begging my doctor to listen to me and change my treatment to focus on the BPD itself, rather than the symptoms (depression & anxiety). My doctor had always been treating the depression as the main problem, not understanding that the rather old diagnosis of BPD was much more than an overarching 'thing' and the bigger issue at hand. He finally relented in late December and he has come to admit that I was right! So I've been weened off the old meds since about March and these new ones, a double-punch of a mood stabiliser & a light anti-psychotic, have helped immensely in balancing out the BPD and reducing the influence of depression.

I can't really say I know how to deal with depression and 'get through it'. It was so deep-seated that any sort of relief was nigh on impossible. But I found it very therapeutic to develop a rhythm of buying Tic-Tacs and then taking one of my dogs wherever she wanted to go. Feeling like I was doing good for someone else, making her happy, always made me glad. If you have time, maybe put some volunteer work on your schedule. If nothing else, it will fill your time and give your brain less opportunities to drag you down. Just do something that can show measurable improvement in you & others. I've also noticed that I have very little in the way of Sad Music on my phone - I enjoy my vapid and/or happy songs and choose not to reinforce my negativity with something that may well be beautiful but ultimately depressing. Sure, I'll watch sad movies or TV shows or whatever, but I usually keep my music a nice little garden of graphic sex and synth. I also have to say that developing a very close and comforting relationship with my boyfriend was irreplaceable during this growth period. I really can't underestimate the positive influence his presence has had in the last eight or so months.
Ultimately, 'dealing' with depression comes down to locking onto what makes you feel fulfilled and worth something, then getting into a rhythm. General advice can only help so much.

Sure, I always want to die. I may well always feel like that on some level. But 2016 is looking like the first year in a long time that will end better than it began and that really is wonderful.