I'd say my intent in making the thread was to inspire self-reflection, as well as see what steps people are taking to remedy what they do not like about themselves.
If I were to list 5 things I dislike the most about myself, they'd be as follows:
1. Body Image
I've never been too happy with the way I look, and I've gained some weight over the past few years. It gets to the point, at times, that I'll have mini-meltdowns and cry about it. But...I know it's my fault. My diet isn't the best, and I could definitely exercise more. I actually lost a ton of weight a few years ago by adjusting my diet and exercising an hour each day, and I kept it off for a year or so by continuing to exercise at least 3 or 4 times a week.
I've unfortunately gained a lot of that weight back, now. I'm tall and have a broad frame, so it doesn't show that well, but I've gained too much weight in my book. What has helped, though, is having a support system (re: my boyfriend haha) who reminds me that he thinks I look great regardless of my weight. I know, that probably sounds silly - but it's really kind of helped remind myself that just because I'm slightly overweight doesn't mean I'm a disgusting person unworthy of love.
I've come to terms to accepting that I'm just a stockier guy, and that's ok! I've resumed a better diet, and have started working out every day again. I'm hopeful to get back down to better weight (in my eyes) in a few months.
But if I don't? That's ok. It's not the end of the world.
2. Mental Illness
I've had issues with depression and anxiety that go back to my mid-to-late teenage years. I hit my lowest point in April of 2011 (at the age of 19) when I tried to kill myself. But hey - I'm still here, bitches! After that occurred, I started taking anti-depressants, and they really helped get me into a better place.
However, I stopped probably back in 2013 because my insurance didn't cover them. Things were overall
okay for the most part - I tried to ignore my depression issues, and shove any sort of mental issues into a box. During that time, I adopted the super unhealthy logic best exemplified by the below quote from Desperate Housewives:
Whenever I feel my emotions getting the best of me, I simply picture an empty box. And I take whatever I'm feeling and put that in the box. Then I picture myself putting the box away in a big empty closet and closing the door. Then, if I have time, I go back and open the box and deal with the emotion. In private.
Yeah, I know - hella toxic. In my head, my depression was a sign of weakness that I shouldn't acknowledge. Yes, I know. T.o.x.i.c! It made me terrible at communicating how I felt with my boyfriend at the time, as well as friends and family. Forcing myself to ignore my emotions/etc., definitely is one of the reasons my previous relationship didn't work out.
But...life happens, and I've grown up, and acknowledge how toxic and awful that mindset was. When I started dating my current boyfriend, I still more or less had that mindset, and was worried about talking to him about these kinds of things. I didn't want to burden him with my problems, but I also didn't want to make the same mistakes. We had a few drawn out arguments that I ultimately realized were rooted in the fact that I was still trying to make myself a bit more emotionally unavailable. I started going back to my primary doctor, got back on my antidepressants, and made a promise to myself to not bottle things up anymore. Otherwise, my current and any future relationships would never work out.
Since then, my boyfriend and I enjoy an open dialogue, and try to talk about everything that bothers us/etc. When I'm feeling down and depressed, I talk about it with him, or with my friends. It's so great being able to talk about things nowadays.
3. Procrastinating
IRL, I can be pretty bad about procrastinating on projects/cleaning up/etc. And I hate it so much lmao. To rectify this, I try to implement false-deadlines that make me feel more pressured to complete things in a timely manner. It definitely helps most of the time.
4. Impatience
I'm incredibly impatient in general. I'm not a fan of waiting on things IRL or online. To rectify this, I've gotten in the habit of taking a deep breath and trying to take a step back...if that makes sense? It's a day-to-day struggle, truth be told, but I'm aware of the issue and am working on it haha.
5. Need for Validation/Insecurity
I have no idea why I have such a strong need for validation at times, but - whoop, there it is. It's not something I'm necessarily proud of, but again, am aware of. As I've matured, I've learned less to care about what people think (see the body image section), but...it's still hard sometimes. I still worry - well, what if that person doesn't like me? What if I just looked so stupid? Does this person hate me? etc. etc. etc. What I have to tell myself - and it's easier said than done - is that what they think, if anything, doesn't matter. I have to do more things that make
me happy, and if that inconveniences others...well, tough!
Ultimately, I've learned the following two things over the past few years:
1. Communicate. Don't keep things bottled up, talk about how you feel.
2. Stop worrying about what other people think about you.