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I would say this :
Gun :Kill me...Make sure Square Enix puts Advent Children Complete on DVD...WAIT! What the hell am I talking about?! I don't wanna die! But If I do Make sure Square Enix puts Advent Children Complete on DVD and Put in with me in my grave......er.....Bye! -Dies-
Knife : Do I have any friends?! Before you kill me I wanna check my Facebook,Hotmail and PokeCommunity! Or at least threaten Square Enix to put ACC on DVD! Ok Deal -Dies-
"Om nom nom." As I choke to death whilst eating a cake.
I would rather the cake was poisoned, but I'm not sure anyone would be willing to go to such a low level that they would ruin a good cake.