you get home at 2am

Depends on whose home. If I'm sleeping over at someone's I mostly have some cookies in my bag for situations like this. If I'm at my own house I eat, depending on my appetite, either a piece of bread or a bit of last night's dinner. I only do this when I went out for the night; ideally I don't eat anything before I go to sleep.
 
"serious"

toast
 
literally the first edible thing I find in the fridge. I usually go back to the fridge after though and find something I would have rather eaten. Most of the time I just eat that as well.
 
Something sweet probably
 
I would go with something sweet.
 
i'll starve because there's nothing to eat in this got damn house
 
I'd probably be out of luck and there's nothing in the fridge, so I'd grab fast food on the way home.
 
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