Chit-Chat: the water closet closet

i had another breakdown today too, fortunately the bf was able to help calm me down haha, there is so much stress right now it's hard to stay sane

it's hard for me to have anxiety breakdowns unless the bottle in which i stuff all of my emotions in starts overflowing to the point where it can't take much more of it. over the years i've slowly but surely gotten better at generally stuffing my feelings deep inside and being stoic about things for better or worse, even if they're bad things that happen to me. unless it's something i have a lot of personal investment in, i've always tried not to have too much of a reaction to things. helps keep me sane for the most part.

Emotions seem to be a weird thing. I'm kinda on the opposite spectrum in that regard: I'm barely able to show any. It even goes way worse when it concerns other people's feelings. Having no empathy I constantly have to remind myself that what people feel sometimes should at least concern me in some way. This lets me ride on this weird slippery slope that starts with "you should feel concerned", goes to "society doesn't want emotionless empathyless jerks" and usually peaks at "when are you finally killing yourself".

There's a lot of effort involved in getting out of it. Sleeping usually helps in some degree. Admitting to yourself that you're too afraid of suicide also helps. Though, I will not guarantee this to work for everyone. The best thing I found, but also the hardest thing, is to realize that you're having bad thoughts and then telling yourself to stop and then stop thinking. After a while things usually calm down.

The human mind a piece of work sometimes, isn't it?

its april fools and I have not been pranked yet i feel the apocalypse is upon us

Doesn't feel like April Fools day today. :(

i'm wanting today to be over with mostly because i'm not quite in the mood for jokes. u.u

I want it to be weekend already :(

What is this "weekend" some people speak of??

I'm in my weekend rn, and work is insane thanks to COVID recently, I'm thankful I got to do jack nothin' today except go to a grocery store.

Also, pretty much ignored April Fools day today. 2020 is the joke.

Shinji said:

Also, pretty much ignored April Fools day today. 2020 is the joke.

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2020 has both been hilarious and sad and im not sure which it's really more of at this point.

colours said:

2020 has both been hilarious and sad and i'm not sure which it's really more of at this point.

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I feel you, I make jokes about it all the time, I want a refund, but also it's just sad and needs to e n d.

I hope 2021 is way better!

This pandemic is just making it so hard :c

it's making things hard for a lot of people, myself included. it's just not a fun time. :s i'm actually hoping to come back to work in a month's time because i really need the money. my bills aren't going to pay themselves, after all.

It'll all be fine once Xenoblade Chronicles comes out. Assuming I live to see it...

Supposed to be picking up my laptop from work today so I can finally work from home and I am both dreading the call and having a conversation with my manager...

i would love for the opportunity to have a work from home job at one point, but i'd have to have a big enough room free of distractions to do so, and that's much easier said than done. i wish i had more of a dedicated office space. .__.

I'm anticipating a fair amount of trouble with that in the near future, because I start work very early and my mother will be going in and out of the room I'll be in...and my little brother is at home, and he's loud. Very loud.

But it's either attempt to work from home, quit, or go into the office. I can't quit because I need my job, and I can't go into the office because I'd need to use public transport to get in and out, and I'm not risking my health. The last time I caught a bus in the pandemic I had two separate panic attacks and I nearly broke down in tears in the office >.>

i get your anxiety about public transport. :s for me, i don't really have a choice because once work starts back up again, it's either take the bus to work or quit and i definitely can't do the latter. x.x

Is there no financial support if you can't get to work in a safe way? Pretty sure there is something to that effect in this country...with the US having substantially more cases and the whole care package thing recently approved I thought there might have been. But I haven't been keeping up with the news to a great extent, because reading too much into it is awful for anxiety.

tbh there would be hell to pay if my manager insisted I come to work on public transport, because I have a health condition. That said, I don't think he's happy with me for taking the last couple of weeks off...although it's not my fault that the laptop hasn't come in, and I *did* tell him despite his claim to the contrary.

it's the US so.... no, not really. it sucks because as someone with a health condition myself it's going to be pretty problematic if i catch this thing, but i don't really have a choice. my job isn't something i can do from home (i work at a restaurant), so either i put up with the reality of the situation or leave. i unfortunately don't have much wiggle room, here.

Dawn said:

It'll all be fine once Xenoblade Chronicles comes out. Assuming I live to see it...

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asdfsdf

Firm belief we will all live to play our fav games.

Speaking of games, seems like New Horizons released at the perfect time! There's such a craze over it and I just want in so badly!! Sigh, maybe next year?

Like you guys I know I'd suffer badly if I caught the virus, since even common colds wipe me out. :s