Shirts and ties. That's all. But probably cropped shirts. But not... you know, exposed midriff because that is despicably disturbing. So like, short sleeves with small patterns, if any. And just black ties, probably. Naked ladies are so un-bourgeois and I don't want naked men on my ties.
I try and get a pineappley shirt and it's eighty fucking dollars, and I think I could just literally use an old white shirt, cut off the sleeves and draw pineapples on the whole thing. What makes their pineapples so expensive, anyway?
... failing that, which I very well may or may not, I want to go to fucking Eton but I'll settle for a sandwich.