This thread holds thoughts and feelings by members who can't speak out these to the people they're for. Inspired by a conversation I had with someone, the purpose of this thread is to allow members who want to get something off their chest out there and into the open without allowing the person that they're for to know that they're for them. Most of the time, it's to share our feelings -- disguised as a crush -- towards someone.
Other times, it's for something a little more serious. There are some things that we just want to put out there, but we're scared of what will happen when we do. This way, the feelings get put out there for the world, but holds the anonymity that holds back the consequence of sharing it with the person it's for.
xoxo - try to keep the "Dear Anonymous" part in tact with your message for authenticity! n__n
IMPORTANT NOTE: This thread is not for thinly veiled arguments and anyone using it to incite personal drama will be infracted. Consider the thread more the equivalent of writing a letter to someone and then burning it. Get your feelings out if you must, but try to avoid a full-on rant, to keep things constructive and somewhat serious.
I've only known you a few days but I think you're really cool. I'm too scared to message you because I don't think you'd want to talk to me, but if you get a chance to message me or maybe I work up the courage to message you, maybe we could talk about piano together or something like that? I really like your name and your ROM Hacks, and I'm sorry I couldn't say this to you in a message or other thread, but I've been so nervous.
i do not think you realize how much your words hurt me. you claim to support me but then you go and do things that display the exact opposite. your mind games are really tiring to me and i am so tired of not being good enough for you no matter what i do. i just want to do what is best for me and my mental health but i feel like i cannot do that without upsetting you and without you threatening to kick me out like you did once before. i should not be terrified of you but i am. i just pretend to be okay with you and not scared of you so you will not be upset with me. i shouldn't be scared of you.
I think I'm in love with you, but I'm kind of afraid of love. I don't want to hurt you and ruin whatever we have right now. I don't exactly know what it is. You make me happy and I think about you a ton. I don't know what to do here. I don't want to weird you out, either..
it's been quite a wild ride this past half year, hasn't it? the laughs, the jokes, the irritation, the frustration. we've been through a lot, we've seen people come and go... and I'm afraid I'll be one of those joining the latter.
to tell you guys the truth, I no longer feel the passion of this job like I used to. the company changed, more and more irritating people got hired on which made the whole environment that much more annoying. sure, the pay was decent provided one was putting in the work, but at what cost? it seemed as if every week when I showed up, something or another would happen. we would always be late on something, or run out of something else... it's really starting to get old at this point. it's definitely not something I'm willing to go through five days a week (which is why I'm not really interested in returning to that schedule).
for those of you that i've built a solid foundation with, you all have been amazing. certainly fun with make jokes with and whatnot. that i will never forget. alas, im just not willing to stay here any more. im not happy here anymore, and I found something that's better for me, anyway.
all I can say to you is that i hope your days will get easier from here on out. i dont know how much longer you plan on staying on, especially with all the constant bs going on. i don't envy your position in the slightest. seems like you're squeezed between a rock and a muk place, if im going to be honest. perhaps you'll stick around take the supervisor position once she quits or gets demoted or something, who knows? but i will admit that i admire your style of leadership. you don't bullmuk around and you're honest. just take it easy and don't stress yourself so much. easier said than done, i know, but still worth keeping in mind regardless.
i hope our chat about my plans this friday go well. i wish you would truly see how exhausted i am all the time. i constantly have dark circles under my eyes. my back hurts all the time. even doing the simplest things like taking out the trash exhaust me. even on the days i don't do much, i still feel tired. a 21 year old shouldn't feel this exhausted and this...old, for lack of better terms. college is exhausting me and i hate it. i have no friends in college and college brings me no joy.
i just wish you'd see i need a break. if i do anything more I'M going to break.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE A SHOWER, AND DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN ABOUT YOU WAIT FOR YOUR TOWELS TO SMELL LIKE MILDEW BEFORE YOU WASH THEM.
THAT'S NOT NORMAL TO TELL A COWORKER.
I' m c r ying
i really hope your talk with the director will solve the BO end of this problem. /sobbing noises
I know you wanna talk to me more, but isn't that forcing a relationship?? We don't have much in common to talk about so???
I did have a crush on you or a while, but I never got a chance to express it for a while before moving out mostly due to the negativity and violence I had faced the last time I had admitted such feelings about someone. You're very shy so it was a great thing watching you slowly open up to me and now are casually talking on Facebook in broken conversations that you initiated, with me moving and graduating, all things considered. This is a huge step from just sitting next to each other at our favorite cafe to do our work on our theses for hours once every two or three weeks. I still think it is too early to come clean with my emotions and hoping they will fade, like many other ones I have had in the past. I'm not good at expressing honest feelings, so this is a great struggle on my part to write this. I do hope that maybe we'll have the chance to meet again in the future, but I don't know considering that I'm not really sure where I'll even be in five years. Good luck in your residency and save many lives!
You called me beautiful even after I came out to you with all of my LGBT troubles, and I told you because you're one of my closest friends, and since it's pride month and all. I know you said it in kind of a joking way, but it still hit me really strangely hard at the time. I've never been quite that affected by such a random flirty compliment before. lol Heck, I'm usually the one making flirty comments at people. LOL You're such a nice guy, and that's not just at surface level. You're a very person good for how you treat other people. Thank you for being so chill. 👍
I want to thank you for stifling my writing muse lately. I had enjoyed the plots we were talking about for the rps that we were involved in together, but I felt that came to a screeching halt when you wanted to involve another friend of yours. You tried to set up a rp with this friend and myself, yet remained oblivious to the fact that it was only being done for selfish reasons on their part, with no mind paid to storytelling or the like.
So thanks again, A, for I feel that I now need to take a break from writing for a short while, due to how I felt treated in this case.
I'm so glad that we're closer as friends and that we're going through something similar at the same time. Support from groups of friends is more helpful than I thought, and I don't know how I managed to find friends that were so understanding, but I'm so thankful for all of you. Even the friends I haven't been as close with overtime. I hope I can create less of a gap with you guys, too!
I really don't understand you. You get upset when I have a life, and I don't feel like that's the proper way to respond to someone that you love.
We've known each other for a while and I would like to say a few things. First off, I'm glad to be one of the many people that you can trust to come out of the closet to. Just know that I still respect and care for you as you are. Likewise, I know that things are going rough with your parents. I hope that it isn't anything too abusive, but just know that I'll be there for you if you need me at anytime. I only wish the best for you and your life.
I thank you for the endless small kindnesses you've paid me, but I have to honor and be truthful to myself. And if you have to be in pain as part of the process, it is something we will both have to accept. If you really love me, you'll sacrifice the future you've imagined for both of us for what will truly make us happy.
I wish I could tell you that I am not interested in being your friend anymore. Hanging out with you can be very mentally and physically draining. You're so immature and can't spend two minutes without saying something and so you believe that blurting random thoughts is better than just being silent. It's so exhausting.Not to mention you're unaware of how manipulative of how you can be. Anytime I wanna talk about something serious, you mention how the conversation is making you want to kill yourself and causing you to be depressed. That is not okay. Your depression shouldn't be an excuse to not talk about something serious. You should be using your depression and anxiety to manipulate people. I'm this close to breaking our friendship. I don't care how long we've been friends, I think you need to grow up a bit and stop unknowingly control others before I really could see us being good friends again.
"Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere"
I'm glad we talked things out and we seem to be on better terms now. I'm feeling a little conflicted with..other family things, but I hope if I can talk to another family member about it who has gone through similar things, I will be able to figure out what I need to do. I do think we make a good team when we're not.. clawing at each others throats. I just want to be on the good side of both my parents.
I wish I had the courage to message you, but i'm really shy and stuff. Just looking at your profile, I know we'd get along like two peas in a pod. We have so much in common, but sadly, due to deep dark secrets in my heart, I can't reveal who I truly am. Maybe once I get my life together, I can muster up the courage to message you, but until I LITERALLY get my life together, I can't. I'm sorry anonymous. I really am.
Once you give a Pokemon a personality, you can't go back depending on the severity and purpose of it. It's no longer just a "pixel" in your box.
Not that you ever would - you're too nice and understanding - but there's nothing that you could possibly say about me being unreliable and a terrible friend that I don't already know and punish myself for every single day.
all you had to do was love me.
why was it so hard for you? what did you gain from hurting me like that? years have gone by. you treat it as if nothing ever happened. but i remember. do you? it haunts me. every night i try to go to sleep it haunts me. the way you talked about me, mocked me behind my back, called me names and then lied to my face, weaseled your way into my personal accounts, read my private messages with other people. why did you do that? you lied, manipulated, controlled. pulled me along every step of the way. i can't trust anyone anymore. i have so many problems with my current relationships. why did you do that to me? it could have been so easy. so much better. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LOVE ME. i don't understand. i will never understand.
i hope you haven't forgotten me. i hope you are plagued everyday by the memories. i hope you feel horrible. i hope you always feel horrible for what you did. know that i have never forgiven you nor forgotten you. know that i have never moved on. maybe you have, but i haven't, and i hate you for it so much. why me. you could have done it to any other person. why me. i did nothing wrong. i loved you and supported you every minute. i did everything for you. WHAT DID I DO WRONG. i was innocent. I TRUSTED YOU.
i deserved so much better. i deserved compassion, honesty, sincerity and love. it wasn't hard to give. you never tried, you never bothered. you were the most cold, dishonest, uncaring person i have ever known. i never want to be like you, and i hope those you know now see your true colors and for what you are. i hope they leave sooner than i did. i hope their stories don't end up like mine. i hope they have the strength to move on. they deserve so much better than you.
and you? you deserve nothing. karma will come around. it always does.
I'd like to talk more but for some reason I feel as if I always am a bother when I try.
I think you're very nice but I just muk my pants when trying to do anything other than things I normally do.
Feelings suck >:(