high school

High School itself was very uneventful for me. I didn't make any friends in that period, and only kept contact with a couple people from Middle School (which were horrible times.) However, I had constant problems at home at the time that kept me from actually being happy with myself until senior year.
 
I had a lot of fun but I think my sheer dislike for school overshadows it.
 
high school was mediocre. in 9th grade, i was dealing with a lot of mental instability so there was that.. i almost got suspended that year and i also had a trip to the hospital but overall it was okay. in 10th grade i actually got suspended for dumb shit and also had another trip to the hospital that year. after i got suspended, i was transferred to an alternative schooling program for people with mental issues and all that fun stuff. in 11th grade, i was still at that alternative school. it was a decent year i guess. took a lot of exams that year. very stressful. 12th grade was my most chillax year probably. my most decent one. i was somewhat mentally stable that year so it was overall decent. i didn't have any exams this year. i graduated with a high school diploma and uh. yeah.

overall high school was okay, i guess. it had its ups and downs as always. oh well.
 
i'm still there now and it's pretty great. the best thing i can say about it is that it's changed me heaps, in good way. in primary school i was what the doctor would probably classify as obese, and i wouldn't really do anything with my day other than watch tv. thankfully, the high school i go to is pretty full on, and forces you into doing loads of extra-curricular stuff, but it made me realise that i love that kind of thing and i'm a lot better off because of it.

i'm not exactly popular and i don't get invited to the big parties or anything, but i've got a solid bunch of friends and i'm happy with that. we do some pretty cool stuff too, a little while ago me and 3 friends made a drill out of stationery in the library and drilled a hole clean through the wall (which the staff have yet to find). good times.
 
Freshman-Junior year was the best for me, with Junior year being the best. Had a really great group of friends, hung out with friends pretty much every day after school. Became a Junior Marshal for being in the top 25 students of my Junior year (my graduating class was roughly about 1400+ students)

Senior year for me was the most depressing year of my life, because I wasted it on a girl who said she liked me and wanted to date me then later on found out she was just pulling my chain and wasn't all that serious about me..
 
oh I was thinking about this earlier this morning

well grades 9 and 10 were fun. especially 9, I was fairly carefree. 10 was the same but I slowly started feeling an increase in wanting to be "cool". unfortunately grades 11 and 12 were defined by this desire to be cool. it was miserable. what I didn't realize is that among my friends, I was cool. If only I had learned that a little sooner. 8)
 
god i hated high school. academic-wise it was wonderful, i received above average grades at the end of year eleven and i graduated with ease but the rest of it was awful. due to my disability i'm just not naturally suited to a school environment; i used to hide in the toilet blocks, run out of lessons crying because it was too loud and straight up refuse to go into school out of fear sometimes. it's not because the people were particularly harsh or because i hated my teachers but literally just because the environment was terrible. i spent most of my high school life in the disabled unit working rather than in classes in all honesty, but i still managed to graduate and get into sixth form so? but yeah. it wasn't a fun experience for me.
 


Guess which part of this song is my perspective. "I never got the chance that you got."

WARNING: There's cursing, but it's cool-cursing. -w-
 
Still in high school, it's been fucking horrible all across the board. It's one of those schools where it's super rigorous and everyone tells you that you're super lucky that you got into the school but really it's a complete hell and everyone's stressed and it's not really worth it to go to the school unless you're ultra try hard.

I didn't make friends for my first two years of high school. Actually technically I did, but they were like people that occasionally talked to me and it was always about what was on x quiz or test. Any positive things about myself just went down the drain in the first month and my grades just went south. I became more isolated from people, became as shy as I was in elementary school, and absolutely nothing helped. I gained a complete hatred of counselors. My luck went to shit. My parents started yelling at me and my sister. It doesn't really help that part of my bus route has kids that go to an art school.

It hasn't all been bad, of course. Junior year's been going more smoothly than freshman and definitely sophomore year (gods I hated sophomore year), I made friends with people that weren't obsessed with getting national merit or top 10% (which in my grade is about ~15 people that can get it bc my year only consists of 150 people), and learning became fun again.

Of course I might just regret saying that when second semester rolls around.
 
I'm in here now and while it's not bad, I certainly will have no regrets or concerns with leaving.
9th and 10th grade were a total mess. I had no friends, I was going through all my cringey middle school phases at once and the friends I did/do have were tearing each other apart. My grades have always been good, but suffered while I became a depressed trainwreck.
Junior year is much better though. I can hold my own, I've made plenty of friends, joined clubs, picked up my grades, and enrolled in courses I'm interested in. I learned some important life lessons and I do have good memories, I just won't miss it. The administration also has no control over the school so it's a drugged up "law of the jungle" kinda place.
 
It's bittersweet for me. I guess the overall experience was bad but there was a time when I felt like life actually meant something. I'm still somewhat kicking myself over what happened because looking back, I really was the one who ruined the whole thing for myself and this is saying from an objective adult perspective. I suppose, if I really wanted to blame other people for what happened, I could, just like how my therapy sessions always try to 'dig deeply' into but overall, it was all my fault.

I'd say that college was actually a worse experience for me though. I guess it's in part that I've always gone to the best high schools but decided to just go to a mediocre college. I guess not being in that environment where people have like IQs upwards of 120 really took a toll on me. Not like my HS peers were like Mensa level, but we really all did score absurdly high on the 'required' entrance IQ test. At the very least, I learned how to talk with everyone else in college XD
 
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