I talk AT people, not TO people.

Palamon

Palamon

Silence is Purple
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    Be honest. Do you talk to people, or at people?
     

    I end up talking "at" people all the time, only because I don't really know anyone who cares about the things I'm excited at. I tell them all about this that and the other, and I get "mm, uh-huh, mhm, yeah" but I still enjoy it because I'm sharing my interest with someone, I'm getting out whats been stirring in my head and exciting me.
     
    I talk at people most of the time, I guess. But then, people talk at me all the time, too. It's quicker and easier to just say what you want to say and then listen to the other person, rather than get constantly interrupted and fly off on tangents, or try and talk over people.

    Talking to people invites interruption, and I HATE being interrupted. If I'm going to spend time talking, I expect the person in question to listen, because I'm not talking for the hell of it. It's only polite, and I give them the same courtesy if they have something to say to me, so...yeah. I talk, you listen, or you talk, I listen. Not we both try to talk at the same time.

    I realise talking at people has very negative connotations in general, but then, so do most of my mannerisms and peculiarities. Never stopped me before.
     
    At people, for sure. I am SO BAD at eye contact and I have no idea why. It just feels so awkward? I don't consider myself to have social anxiety or anything but when I talk to someone who's really good at making eye contact I get so uncomfortable. I know I'm supposed to be the weird one in this situation though so I've been trying really hard to get better about it. I try to at least look at people when I talk to them but I can only maintain eye contact for like a second at best before I have to look away. I hate how awkward it feels and I hate how awkward I feel for making it awkward in the first place, if that makes sense, lol.

    I mean, I'm talking TO them even when I'm not making eye (or facial, lol) contact, but I assume people think I'm less sincere about it or I'm talking away from them so that's why I answer "at" instead. :s
     
    I think it depends on the other person for me. If I'm comfortable with you I'll talk to you, but if you're a stranger chances are it'll be at you, though as the conversation goes I'll engage you more most likely.
     
    talk to-- i've got many friends who talk at, so i've grown accustomed to engaging that conversation in others. i prefer to hear other people talk rather than carry words myself.

    i only talk at other people when i'm really angry or making a point.. :x
     
    i don't understand this question? pretty much what @flight said?
     
    Talk to people, unless it's something I'm really passionate about and if they're not caring I'll just talk at them until they pay attention.
     
    flight said:
    Perhaps it's me being dense here; what's the difference? Is talking to people meaning that you're paying more attention to the conversation rather than talking at people, or...?
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    The way I personally would explain it is:
    Talking to people: having a conversation that is engaging for all parties, in which you are both speaking and listening
    Talking at people: talking to someone without really caring what they think or giving them space to speak, so you are the speaker and they are the listener


    I have been caught in too many instances of people talking at me, where it felt like my thoughts or feelings weren't wanted, and the person might as well have been talking to themselves. I never really know to react in those situations, and in the past I felt like I was a doormat with no way or changing the dynamic or getting away. I have found this to be a very gendered dynamic, and that it usually happens where a man is talking at a woman (sometimes mansplaining), though I have been in a couple situations where it was a woman talking at a woman.

    I try to be a good listener in conversations and do my best to talk to people, not at them, but there are probably some instances where I talked at someone. I generally try to be conscious of this and make sure everyone feels included in conversations.

    ~Psychic
     
    I never feel like I'm talking at someone unless I'm going off on a rant of some kind. I am a self-centered ass though so I'm sure I talk at people more than I realize.
     
    i dont really know the difference. if i had to guess, talking at people is like loud yelling with the purpose of informing someone. in that case i talk to people because i like to have calm and enjoyable back & forth conversation
     
    I talk to people. I cannot stand people who simply wait for their turn to speak. It's incredibly rude and it makes it impossible to have a fruitful conversation with that person.

    I prefer listening, to be honest. You learn more about people that way. Even with my closest friends and family, I don't talk much. I just enjoy being in their presence and enjoying the occasion, whatever it might be.
     
    天 (Caine) said:
    I talk to people. I cannot stand people who simply wait for their turn to speak. It's incredibly rude and it makes it impossible to have a fruitful conversation with that person.

    I prefer listening, to be honest. You learn more about people that way. Even with my closest friends and family, I don't talk much. I just enjoy being in their presence and enjoying the occasion, whatever it might be.
    Click to expand...

    Makes more sense now after psychic explained, I was confused a bit lol.
    But yeah I generally talk to people. I feel like i'm sensitive towards including people in a conversation and I never want to be the only one talking the whole time.

    Caine do you mean you don't like when someone doesn't wait for their turn to speak? I would say it's respectful to wait for them to finish instead of interrupting them.. Like as long as it's not a huge pause and keeps the convo flowing it should be fine but it's not cool to have a million people talking at once tbh
     
    I really try to talk TO people because I hate when others just talk AT me :3

    On forums though, doesn't the AT sort of get reflected in "post and go" mentality?
     
    Lunarose said:
    Caine do you mean you don't like when someone doesn't wait for their turn to speak? I would say it's respectful to wait for them to finish instead of interrupting them.. Like as long as it's not a huge pause and keeps the convo flowing it should be fine but it's not cool to have a million people talking at once tbh
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    What I mean by that is when the person is so self absorbed that they're no longer listening to you sincerely. Instead, they're waiting to talk about themselves and what's going on with them without caring about the other person in the conversation. For example, there are two people and one of them has a daughter attending university. The father asks the other person about college life to get the topic started so the father can brag about his daughter. In this case, the father completely disregards what the other person is saying and isn't truly listening to the other person. He's more concerned about boasting than what the other person has to say.

    This isn't just limited to bragging, though. There are a ton of examples of what I mean, but I hope this can further explain how I feel.
     
    I see no difference. I hate every human equally, therefore I have no reason to care whether I talk "to" or "at" people.
     
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