If righteous animal abuse is on the menu, then I'll lay down an order of rounding up every cat I could find and using them to fill in sinkholes. That'll teach them for looking at me sideways and biting my toe.
The accumulation of yin chi from their passing will create a rift in the Force, and the sinkholes will become powerful pockets of Dark Side matter. So I'll go to the strongest of the lot, bask in the evilness of it all and tap into my secret reserve of midi-chlorians. Training hard with the time I have left, I'll go find the northern Italian waitress and impress her with my telekinesis and supreme reflexes. She'll swoon from the glory of it all. I'll catch her. We'll share a Chinotto and then we'll go on an epic journey to meet all of my favourite actors and ship them to the moon before it's too late.
If that doesn't really work out for me, I'll go train on a Chinese mountain, become enlightened and go on a worldwide pilgrimage to soothe the panicked and despondent. And hey, if I wind up in Hollywood by chance... maybe I'll demand a Gremlins remake and I'll play the mother who gets to walk around her kitchen and stab the shit out of everything - however inappropriate the casting. Put some mascara on me and the audience will never know.