Last One to Post Wins! v4

That's one of my biggest issues with discord as well Zeo.

Unless you were there at some particular moment at a random point in time then you often don't know what is happening because of constant in-jokes.

We are all guilty of that from time to time, but I feel on PCD that every single conversation just ends up back in in-joke hell almost immediately as people quickly get bored and I end up lost and feeling like a gooseberry.

I have tried very, very, hard to take part, I even had the cooltrainer role (or whatever the activity role was called) almost constantly at one point, but no matter how much time I spent there, I always felt like an unwanted outsider. That's probably all on me, but it is a feeling I'm not particularly in love with despite being used to it.

It's a shame I'm such a luddite, because so many wonderful people hang out over there and I really do miss them a lot.
 
[PokeCommunity.com] Last One to Post Wins! v4

I just kinda... stopped getting notifications for this thread, I guess I haven't checked it in a while. Oops.

Take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt if you want, but honestly even as a person with social anxiety I think group chats are great and it feels really engaging and rewarding to be part of a really good, fast online chat where it's just you and several people making jokes or contributing with your own takes or opinions. Things like the PC Discord are too big for me, there's so many people I don't know and I'm not really interested in trying to break into something like that, so it does get to a point where it's definitely too much. But for smaller Discord servers of something like 20-30 people are fine for me, enjoyable even.
Several people here are part of our Que-Up chats and I told someone a while ago that they remind me of when I was a lot younger and had a group of friends I was really close with and would just spend my days talking to them in an online chatroom. Even as someone who isn't super active on these forums and didn't know half the people in a room like that, I like to think the fact that I wanted to keep coming back and engaging with the people there means that I'm now a part of that group and can both enjoy being there and can be someone that people want to see while they're there. It's why I like welcoming people and thanking them for coming when they leave, their presence in that room means something to me. I often say "I'm glad they joined" or "I'm hoping they'll come" because this site has cool people that I'd like to be able to talk to more intimately.
I've seen a couple of you guys say stuff like "What if the conversation topic changes" or "what if there's inside jokes I'm not a part of" and I think the answer is just to ask or speak up. If you wanna add something to a previous conversation I don't think anyone who is there wanting to talk to people is going to stop you, it's not like there's a hard rule about when you can talk about things. The same goes for inside jokes too, just asking what the joke is or having it explained to you so you can be in on it opens up a lot more opportunity for you to be part of that conversation, and then be a part of future inside jokes that would happen in that conversation. I'm very, uhhh, I have very strong opinions about this sort of thing, I guess? But I think that just saying "I don't want to/I can't" because of these reasons you're telling yourself can discourage you and lead to this confirmation bias that prevents you from enjoying something you could be a part of.
That being said, I do agree with things like rooms going too fast or having too many people in it, and that it can be hard to just break into a conversation if the people there aren't willing to talk to you. Make other people feel wanted in the conversation, talk to one person directly if you're having difficulties talking to a whole group, and asking questions is a great way to be a part of a conversation and to give yourself an entry point.

The point I'm wanting to make is that there are good parts of both forum threads and instant messaging and you shouldn't keep yourself away from social experiences because of what you think.
 
Personally, at parties I tend to hang out more with Cats and Dogs (and other animals). They're more interesting.
 
ReKoil said:
In my experience asking a joke to be explained will just lead to mockery :sadwick:
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Sadly, yeah. That's not uncommon. Group psychology and behavior alteration is a real thing. Sometimes somebody may come across as harsher when in such a setting even if not intending to be that way. As a former student of psychology, that was one of the things we covered. (it's under the branch of conformity). It's also important to mention that everyone socializes differently. It stems from our uniqueness as people.

For example: I'm usually good if there's an ongoing conversation that I can contribute into, but not so great at banter unless I'm already comfortable.

@Starlight If it's any consolation, we all love having you around here and you'll always have a place. You are deeply appreciated and respected. I can see that from many people who post here. Sometimes we are our own worst critics.
 
Everyone's contributions to this conversation have been all very good and relatable, and, like Lavender, I have no idea of what to add to it. All that I know is that I am a total social mess irl and it's online where I can actually maintain an actual good conversation, even though some of my fears and anxieties of talking in person to someone sometimes do come up in online scenarios.
 
I'm not good with coming up with conversational responses quickly irl. Like my brain will think things over before answering and people will very often be like ''hello,I'm talking to you''.
And I'll just be like ''I'm thinking over and phrasing my answer, you impatient dingus.''
Not that I actually say that... unless they're really rude, in which case I do say something like that =P
 
To be honest- I'm not sure if it's from a medicine I take, or over-practising and over-correcting a combination of different accents and dialects I'm really into, but I've sort of got a speech problem in real life. I'll have exactly what I want to say, but my mouth for some reason or another doesn't always let me say it- thus I'll either not say much because I might not be able to get it out, or if I can speak it's either very brief or somewhat rushed. It really gets annoying. Ach...
 
Starlight said:
Unless you were there at some particular moment at a random point in time then you often don't know what is happening because of constant in-jokes.
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Had a kinda similar experience with one QU week. I was there until it was getting late for me. The next day "angry shopping" was a thing and I had no clue what even happened after I left. ^^"
Lavender said:
Id don't know what to say right now lol
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Feel free to talk about other things. :P
Weasel D. Garp said:
To be honest- I'm not sure if it's from a medicine I take, or over-practising and over-correcting a combination of different accents and dialects I'm really into, but I've sort of got a speech problem in real life. I'll have exactly what I want to say, but my mouth for some reason or another doesn't always let me say it- thus I'll either not say much because I might not be able to get it out, or if I can speak it's either very brief or somewhat rushed. It really gets annoying. Ach...
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I know that situation and I don't take medicine and I don't have to deal with different dialects, either. Though, I assume for me it's psychological. A lot of my problems, if not most, are psychological. ^^"
 
Megan said:
Had a kinda similar experience with one QU week. I was there until it was getting late for me. The next day "angry shopping" was a thing and I had no clue what even happened after I left. ^^
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LMAO sorry that one was on me I think, it was from the time I first joined the QU. I could explain it to you if you want :P
 
Megan said:
Had a kinda similar experience with one QU week. I was there until it was getting late for me. The next day "angry shopping" was a thing and I had no clue what even happened after I left. ^^"

Feel free to talk about other things. :P

I know that situation and I don't take medicine and I don't have to deal with different dialects, either. Though, I assume for me it's psychological. A lot of my problems, if not most, are psychological. ^^"
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If It makes you feel any better, I missed that too ;)

The beautiful thing about QU is that everyone will talk to everyone even if they're non-PC members that venture in to jam with us. Everyone is family in PC QU, and nobody gets left behind ❤️
 
Megan said:
Had a kinda similar experience with one QU week. I was there until it was getting late for me. The next day "angry shopping" was a thing and I had no clue what even happened after I left. ^^"
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Based on what the others have said, I'm sure there isn't a single person in the QU room who wouldn't be happy to explain something like that to you. The whole "aggressive shopping" bit happened something like two weeks ago, so it's not like you missed something overnight. And if you miss out on something like that in the future, we're gonna bring it up again (it's too fun not to lol) and that's a good chance to ask for an explanation.
Honestly, I'd been a bit worried the past couple weeks hoping you were still enjoying yourself at the QU because you've been quiet and left without saying something. If me or anyone else can be more accommodating I'm sure we'd all be happy to do that for you.

Starlight said:
Everyone is family in PC QU, and nobody gets left behind ❤️
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Lavender said:
I like the PC because you guys don't mind my crazy random shenanigans lol
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[PokeCommunity.com] Last One to Post Wins! v4

This. Both of these are extremely true, it's been fun to express myself more... vocally? I guess? And to have people to joke around with. The whole vampire thing wasn't something I really expected to be a recurring topic but there's been more than one instance where we've opened up that box again and someone says something that genuinely makes me smile or laugh so hard my face hurts. I'd like for people who are interested to feel like they can be a part of that and that we're willing to welcome them in and give them that experience. It's been great for me.
 
That's another thing, especially with the QU group. If someone asks about a joke or a piece of lore related to QU, someone'll always try to explain it to some level of detail, just so everyone can follow along, and even then, it's open to new funny jokes or lore to be made with new people as well, so even if something just doesn't make sense, there'll always be a chance for you to be a part of the next thing that doesn't make any sense to the next new person. That's at least how I see it lol.

Megan said:
Had a kinda similar experience with one QU week. I was there until it was getting late for me. The next day "angry shopping" was a thing and I had no clue what even happened after I left. ^^"
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I was even there when it happened and I still don't get it either lol. :p

Starlight said:
Unless you were there at some particular moment at a random point in time then you often don't know what is happening because of constant in-jokes.

I have tried very, very, hard to take part, I even had the cooltrainer role (or whatever the activity role was called) almost constantly at one point, but no matter how much time I spent there, I always felt like an unwanted outsider. That's probably all on me, but it is a feeling I'm not particularly in love with despite being used to it.

It's a shame I'm such a luddite, because so many wonderful people hang out over there and I really do miss them a lot.
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Well, I can't speak for the PC Discord, but there is another one you're a part of that I know full well would love to see you around more often. :p
But I'm also sorry to hear you miss your friends... :sadwick:
 
If everyone is family in PC QU, then I guess all the PC people who don't attend are the 'nobodies' who get left behind :sadwick:

I've been wanting to check it out at least once, but whenever I see the forum messages show that one is happening I'm already doing other stuff @_@
 
Cosmega said:
LMAO sorry that one was on me I think, it was from the time I first joined the QU. I could explain it to you if you want :P
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It's all good. The actual problem is that I always have to make a decision: do I stick throughout the night on the offchance that something meme-y happens and risk getting very unpleasant (something that tends to happen when I'm really tired). Or do I retire early, miss out on something funny, but at least didn't do something stupid that ruined everybody's fun? ^^"
Setsuna said:
Honestly, I'd been a bit worried the past couple weeks hoping you were still enjoying yourself at the QU because you've been quiet and left without saying something. If me or anyone else can be more accommodating I'm sure we'd all be happy to do that for you.
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I'm sorry about that. I don't really have an explanation of why I behave that way. But I will try to be a little more involved and actually say something before randomly leaving. Truth is: I actually feel bad, myself, whenever I do that.

It's one of these mental blocks that I still haven't managed to get past. ^^"
ReKoil said:
If everyone is family in PC QU, then I guess all the PC people who don't attend are the 'nobodies' who get left behind :sadwick:
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Rest assured you're not the only one with that problem. I spent over a year looking at the announcements every week and then randomly making up an excuse as to why I'm not going to participate. I'm not even sure what changed recently.

Actually, it may have been due to the theme at the time (songs from your country) because it made me look up a bunch of songs I listened to as a kid. And then I just figured I might as well give it a try. xD
 
ReKoil said:
If everyone is family in PC QU, then I guess all the PC people who don't attend are the 'nobodies' who get left behind :sadwick:

I've been wanting to check it out at least once, but whenever I see the forum messages show that one is happening I'm already doing other stuff @_@
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Whenever you join, i definetly be there to greet you! <3
 
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