~Make A Wish and have it horribly corrupted ~

[Starlight]

Granted but it turns out she's a clone of me and we have a joint business selling black market kidneys...

I wish I wasn't so weird! ;)

 

[Eleanor]

Granted, but now you live in (and are surrounded by people raised in) the Italian countryside 🙄

I wish I could pass my next exam. Yes I'm that desperate...

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

Granted. Now, you only have to pass the 50 following exams!

I wish I could do more fact-checking on the field, and less work on a desk!

 

[Megan]

Granted, but you have to carry you own equipment. Also, your next target leads you to an active volcano.

I wish the grass wasn't so burnt down because of the heat.

 

[ReKoil]

Granted, me and my shovel show up and I dig up all the grass and turn it back into earth =D

Spoiler:

I wish for humanity to band together.

 

[Zeostar]

Granted. We all play drums.

I wish for better radio song variety with popular stations.

 

[Megan]

Granted, especially car owners in a traffic jam will enjoy their ears being blasted off with sudden Heavy Metal.

I wish for some fish sticks!

 

[ReKoil]

Granted, pick two:

Spoiler:

I wish to never have a headache again.

 

[TwilightBlade]

Granted, but now you sneeze profusely when someone says your name.

I wish I didn't have to do yard work.

 

[Megan]

Granted, everything's on fire so you don't need to do anything in your anymore.

I wish for a bag of flour.

 

[ReKoil]

Granted. No need to be wary of it, just use it for your bread =D
*starts quietly chanting a ritual spell*

I wish I wouldn't be disturbed while in the freezer... I need some alone time every now and then!

Spoiler:

 

[Starlight]

Granted! I just locked the door... nobody will disturb you ever again...


I wish for a paper straw that doesn't fall apart

 

[Duck]

Granted. It just leach chemicals in everything it sucks.

I wish for a cookie.

 

[ReKoil]

Just accept the ones it prompts you with when you visit PC. Free cookies! =D

I wish for better memory.

 

[Megan]

You get some DDR5 RAM. Just need to make sure it fits into your computer! :D

I wish for Bluetooth Audio on the Switch to not keep cutting out!

 

[StCooler]

Granted, it cuts out once and no longer gets back :)

I wish for an infinite Slowpoke image generator, just like Gardevoir and ReKoil.

 

[Duck]

Granted. It eats your RAM and swap, bricking all your devices.

I wish I had a pet.

 

[ReKoil]

Don't you already have 62 pets?
Fine... you get a new pet, but all your old ones mysteriously vanish =D

I wish Santa would join hands with the Easter bunny.

 

[Megan]

Granted, enjoy your new present gift mafia!

I wish for a cute Phione plush!

 

[Duck]

Granted, it's made of the cheapest possible materials though.

I wish for a wish I could wish.