[Discussion] Most messed up things you've ever written?

[Palamon]

What's the most messed up/fucked up/scariest/edgiest thing you've ever written?

Hoo boy?

Let me see.

TW! VIOLENCE.

Most fucked up: wrote a scene once where a group of gang members cut open a character's arm and forced him to paint with his blood.

Scariest: Human experimentation scenes. Needs no description.

Most messed up: I wrote a disembowelment scene that eventually led to the soldier setting the open wounds on fire. Luckily, this scene was merely a dream.

Edgiest: ... Daddy Deathbed. Enough said. I was 14, don't ask.

 

[Orion☆]

Scariest: Probably the ending of an old Pokémon fic in which a captured Zorua (the titular "Captured Illusion") made its captor disappear without a trace. That was not the end though, it was the Fairy Tale Girls around laughing about it that gave me chills upon re-reading it.

Most fucked up: Thankfully didn't get past the outline stage, but...

Spoiler:

My self-insert/avatar character getting branded with the arms of Arceus/the Hisui mark by their manipulative bastard of a friend (a disciple of Volo who intended on resetting Sinnoh back to its Hisuian roots). She then dies of said injuries, alone, on the streets of 1930s Unova, all before becoming a ghost. This was only backstory, by the way. As I said before, this is thankfully no longer canon to my self-insert's story since it was waaaaay too convoluted.

Edgiest: Prior to the pandemic, my self-insert Pokémon character, who is a human ghost, had been killed by her own mother, and much of my writing hinged on that backstory because, well, I had "friends" who encouraged me to be *~edgy~* and to make my self-insert's backstory as different from mine as possible. Thankfully, over the pandemic I became closer to my mom and broke away from those people, so that bit no longer holds true. In fact, my self-insert and her mother (who is based on my own) actually died in the same event and later reunited as ghosts.

 

[Mimicking Mimikyu]

It's not forum appropriate. 😅

 

[gimmepie]

I could probably fill pages with examples, but I'm just going to say I had to write some very visceral and vivid descriptions of severe burns recently and that was not fun research to do.

 

[sh1n0bu2]

there's... a lot

 

[moon]

i am 100% pure and cannot write messed up stuff :>

Honestly, I have never felt the need to, iirc. Maybe I described an injury at some point, and tried to convey slight horror/surrealism at another point.

 

[Palamon]

I could probably fill pages with examples, but I'm just going to say I had to write some very visceral and vivid descriptions of severe burns recently and that was not fun research to do.

I've done something similar with catching on fire and getting third degree burns, honestly. It's not fun to write things like that, but I've written... worse. Somehow.

 

[gimmepie]

I've done something similar with catching on fire and getting third degree burns, honestly. It's not fun to write things like that, but I've written... worse. Somehow.

I found writing it fun enough, but I'm a sick bastard like that.

 

[Iceshadow3317]

When Neopets was still big and the plushies were at McDonalds, I think it was the ones from 2005. I wrote a small trilogy about neopets since I loved them... and.... well I found them after we moved last year in my neopets box and omg.... it was so bad. Truly a 12 year old had written it. It wasn't gross or anything, just terrible writing lol.

When I was RPing in Warcraft back in 2018/2019. I had to write something as a DM that was extremly uncomfortable, but I had to make it for the character. I warned people around 5+ times not to come if you get uncomfortable. It was dealt with undead and other things and I just did not like it at all. But it had the impact I was looking for. But I will never right something like that again. Thankfully a door opened where I was able to completely retcon what had happened so I never have to think about it.

 

[forg]

It's not forum appropriate. 😅

You and me both, haha.

Other than that topic, I can admit I used to have plenty of existential crises back in the day. I now take those horrible/odd experiences and have implemented them in original stories of mine. It's helped me grapple with such… deep and weird aspects of life in weird ways that I hadn't realized the power that writing would have on me.

ALIENS. I took inspiration from lovecraftian horror and YouTube args for my stories and I can admit that I've come up with some odd stories.

 

[Retek]

Not in any RP, not fanfic, but all the stories I wrote were related to exams, like a question pops up in a test of writing a short story and... well see...

While I enjoy happy endings, turns out I was more, IDK how to say it, natural with writing horror mixed with really fucked up stuff.

It's... intense, to describe it briefly. ^^;

 

[No Meaning]

Honestly, seeing all of these posts, I realize I don't actually have much of a insane writing record as I thought, albeit I have written through the illegality of child…uh…yeah in my spare time, so, uh, yikes for me I guess.

 

[Alex_Among_Foxes]

Being that story crafting is one of my greatest passions I could name quite a few...
But I think for now the most recent story I'm working on features a protag who's favorite method of performing an execution is strangulation
followed by a neck snap...

 

[CiCi]

Gosh, this is a difficult question for me. Most of my writing revolves around messed up things. I'm just gonna list some things... *slides nightmare fuel into your DMs*

Messed up: Original (blood, suicide, PTSD/panic attacks)

Spoiler:

Pretty much all of Yvette's story is messed up. It's a story about people who can transform into animals or vice-versa. Yvette is a hyena, and carnivores have an intense bloodlust that needs to be controlled through discipline, which she doesn't have much of though she tries. One of her allies is suicidal and shoots himself in the head. Yvette watches this happen, helpless to stop him, and then the blood of the scene hits her. She proceeds to cannibalize him. She has continuous nightmares about this.

Fucked up: Original (child torture)

Spoiler:

Six's story is messed up to the max. Takes place in a post-apocalypse, with an organization that split in two due to ideological reasons. They're now at war with each other. Six's half decided to create a drug called ACT (auto-cellular transformation) which mutates humans into war machines. I describe in great detail the process--the intense, torturous pain, the seizures and convulsions, and the horrible feeling of the subjects' bodies being rearranged. But the kicker is that they perform these experiments on children. Six (named because she was Subject 6 during ACT 2.0 testing) was only nine years old when they irreversibly changed her body. The ones like Six who are difficult to break go through utter torment to meld them. Six was put into solitary confinement (The Silent Room, which is equivalent to real-world White Torture), made to fast for days at a time, and tortured into compliance. She was dosed 4 times.

Edgiest: Fanfic (sexual assault, abuse)

Spoiler:

I had a fanfic idea about Death Note where Near, now older, takes on a big case. The main suspect is a woman who was raped and impregnated by her uncle. She has to get an emergency C-Section to remove the baby that died inside of her after her uncle tried to beat the baby and her to death. I only wrote some of this story but never planned to detail or show "in real time" this abuse, just have it mentioned. Slightly less edgy that way, I suppose.

Scariest: Fanfic (PTSD/panic attacks, death)

Spoiler:

My current fanfic has a few messed-up elements. It's based on Hogwarts Legacy. The main character, Credence, comes from war-stricken America. She has several panic attacks/PTSD attacks around her boyfriend, Ominis Gaunt. This one's really more psychologically messed up as opposed to my usual viscerally fucked up writings and has a lot of intense visuals to accompany it with Credence in particular having vivid flashbacks to her trauma, where she often sees her brother and father's dead bodies and glazed eyes staring at her.

There is just so much more. I enjoy writing about trauma, especially things that (hyperbolically) relate to my own life, and how characters either succumb or rise above it. I often work through things by taking trauma to the extreme.

Honorable Mentions!
Messed up 2.0: Original (blood, PTSD/panic attacks, child abuse, death)

Spoiler:

Annie's story is like 95% messed up. Takes place in the same universe as Six, but on the opposite side of the war. This universe has reptilian humanoids, and this half of the organization hates Reptiles and indoctrinates children into their racism. The catalyst for Annie's story is when she's convinced by a higher-up who is also her father to murder an unarmed and innocent Reptile. Her peers encourage this. Though she's hesitant, she does wind up shooting him in the head as he tries to run away. She struggles with intense PTSD from this experience, tries to make amends by advocating for Reptilian Rights in her organization, and is then promptly ostracized by everyone except her best friend, Varkas. This event comes back to repeat itself several times throughout the story.

Fucked up 2.0: Fanfic (sexual assault, torture)

Spoiler:

I have a Resident Evil VII fanfic revolving around Lucas Baker. If you know anything about that game, you already know this can't go well. Persephone Black met Lucas when they were young and they got into a relationship that was healthy and loving. But after Eveline showed up and Lucas was corrupted, Lucas raped and abused his girlfriend multiple times. He put her in a shock collar and shocked her every time she was disobedient or violent. Persephone tried to escape multiple times and was punished for it. This is all written in very graphic detail. Lucas is utterly sadistic.

Edgiest 2.0: Fanfic (blood drinking, slavery, sexual abuse)

Spoiler:

In a Homestuck AU, the trolls of Alternia come down to Earth and enslave the humans. Gamzee Makara is a very wealthy slave owner. One of his slaves, Tawny Dennis, is his favorite. He's very sexual with her. She winds up falling for a wealthy land baron, Eridan Ampora, who catches feelings for her as well. Gamzee notices this and confronts them. He ends up raking his nails across his own wrist, laps the blood up, and tongue-kisses it into Tawny's mouth. He makes her swallow it, as a show of dominance toward both Eridan and Tawny.

Scariest 2.0: Fanfic (child abuse, torture, PTSD/panic attacks)

Spoiler:

In that same Hogwarts Legacy fanfic, I wrote about Ominis being Crucio'd by Sebastian in the Scriptorium (as Ominis refused to both cast the spell or let Sebastian cast it on Credence). During this Crucio, Ominis has flashbacks to his childhood of being tortured by his siblings and parents with Crucio. He winds up curled into a ball, crying and begging for forgiveness as if he regressed back into being a child. Luckily, Credence brings him out of it.

 

[Palamon]

Hello. I'm back. I've written something that I feel like is one of the most gruesome things I've ever written.

Spoiler:

And that would be a character breaking someone's ribs. Snapping them. Four of them. The character then proceeded to dispose of the unconscious body and discarded it by the beach claiming whatever happened after this was not their problem.

Tl;dr: premeditated attempted murder, I guess.

I think this is...somehow one of the most messed up severe injuries I've ever written and I had to figure out a way to describe it without being too telling.

Being a horror writer is hell sometimes.