Suicide and self-harm [Warning: Might be triggering]

[Auticorn]

What are your thoughts? Have you ever dealt with either of these things? Have you ever had friends go through with it? What are your reasons for finding such things silly (if that's the right word)? Discuss~

As a former self-harmer, I can say that it does have a nice feeling. The physical pain is a temporary distraction from emotional pain. So, I can understand why a lot of people do it that struggle far worse than I have. As for suicide though, I really don't think there's much I can say about it. It's a sad thing to have to think you want to die or no longer feel like you belong in this world in my opinion. It's such a harsh thing, and I feel for anyone that has to go through that much pain to think suicide is the only answer in life. :(

So, your own thoughts? I figure this is better in The Round Table because it's more mature and might also be triggering for some people. I know this topic has been brought up before, but I would like to bring it up again.

 

[Auticorn]

You know, I actually agree with you. Once my life was actually turned around, I started to realize that self-harming really doesn't do any good even though my last self-harm attempt was probably at the beginning of the month when I lost my hero before Takeru as well as a close friend of mine around the same time don't judge me. It's not something I do just for any reason, if I was to ever do it again, which I promised myself after PelleK and losing my friend that I wouldn't anymore. Because you're absolutely right. At what cost does it really bring anyone relief in a long term kind of sense? I've gotten much better about this, and my life is actually starting to improve, so there's really no reason for me to self-harm anymore. Not like I would every try if things went downhill. I'd obviously try not to do it if it were to come to that too. It's just hard for me because I have never been the type of person who can deal with stress or emotional pain well at all. It gets to the point where I try to find the easiest and quickest way out. I know it's bad to those things, but it's just the first thing that comes to mind for me.

I'll be honest though. I probably would end up doing it again. That's only if the emotional pain got too hard to bare. When it comes to emotional pain and distress, I always find it harder and more difficult to just talk to someone about it. I could cry an entire river, and I would still not be able to actually tell someone just what's wrong with me either. I've never been able to fully express myself when it comes to my emotional issues and all that. I also don't like to push myself to do it either because it can actually make it worse rather than better. I think that's part of the reason why I end up turning to self-harm. It's something that hardly anyone will notice the way I do it.

I guess this is one of those things I need to work on. Like, it's not that I don't trust people. It's just the emotional boundaries I have with being autistic. In fact, self-harm is actually rather common for autistic people such as me. It's even more common for those with more severe forms who are unable to communicate. Mind you, I'm capable of communication, but it's not the communication I have trouble wit though. It's the lack of expression between how I handle myself emotionally.

Sorry about that... I kind of rambled on there. :/

 

[Pinkie-Dawn]

I've dealt with suicidal thoughts in various cases: people finding me an annoyance, failure at performing simple tasks, homework assignments, and exams well, and failure at winning an argument/debate. Unfortunately, I'm too much of a coward to do the deed myself. I've only had a few online friends who're going through these things, because they suffer from depression. I don't self-harm out of depression though; I only self-harm if I ever got hit somewhere by accident and hit it at the same spot in hopes that the pain will go away (yeah, I'm that weird). Suicide in general, to me, really depends on your beliefs on the afterlife. If your religion forbids suicide, then don't, or else your soul may suffer for all eternity. If you don't believe there's an afterlife, then I still won't recommend suicide if your goal is to live longer or if you're afraid of death, but I can't stop you if you choose this path yourself.

 

[Nolafus]

As someone who has attempted suicide, I feel like I can share my experiences with it.

The thing with suicide is that if you're that close to doing it, you don't care. All of the people that tell you they care, it doesn't affect you at all. You don't care if it's a selfish act, because you don't care about anything at all. You get up each day, and go through your routine, day after day. Nothing is special, and there's not really a reason to keep on going.

It's hard to explain to someone who has never felt this way, but you're just empty inside. Like you're just a shell, and your soul has just been sucked dry of all life and emotion. The happiness you do feel from everyday activities is hollow, but the sadness you feel consumes your entire being. It's not necessarily pain, since there's not much to be felt. Your body is there, but your spirit is long gone.

That's the way it felt like for me, at least. It does get better, eventually, but it's difficult to see the light.

 

[Melody]

Personally, I believe that both Suicide and Self-Harm are just wrong.

However; I do understand that there are many, many things which can and do cause and motivate people to commit Suicide or partake of dangerous Self-Harm. Mental health problems are definitely no joke; nor do I let my value system cause me to judge people negatively for that.

Suffice it to say that my belief will usually motivate me to be compassionate for that person. Usually I find that compassion is what people need anyways; and they generally respond positively to that unless they're beyond any help I can possibly provide. When I lose someone either because I had to stop contact or because I could not help them; I grieve. It brings me much sorrow when people I care about feel that way.

So I do try to save people; and save an undisclosed number of people I have from suicide; generally all of them friends. I seem to be drawn to people in need...it's something I've encountered all my life.

 

[Kanzler]

I think it's just another way to run away from your problems. People can get obsessed about things, withdraw from society, self-harm, take up drugs or alcohol. It's a distraction from things you don't feel ready or bearable to face. Every minute you're doing one of the above things to escape is one minute you're not using to face reality. You might be aware that you could rationally make things better, but thoughts like those are fleeting and you don't give much thought to them.

 

[Universe]

I have attempted suicide.. four times in total throughout my life, and self-harm has been a thing since I was thirteen. I can probably touch this subject.

Brains are definitely a struggle when they don't work.. and it doesn't help when life throws pain at you a little too often. Suicide may definitely be a way to run away from your problems, but it's also cruel to assume that those who turn to it haven't already tried everything else. It's easy to say they're being selfish and running away when you aren't the one dealing with their issues. I see the entire thing as desperately trying to find a way to feel better.. which isn't far from the truth. Also this may be a little cruel, but I feel I should inform that when a person reaches that point they most likely don't care that people care.

Be gentle when giving opinions about suicide and self-harm. You have to realize that it takes a lot of suffering and hatred to just give up on the only thing you've ever known. You'll never have another chance to have the only thing you've ever known once you're done, and that takes some serious mental numbness and preparation to go through with. People who are weak don't try to commit suicide, because it's not weak to throw yourself away with no knowledge of what comes next.

I don't condone turning to self-harm to deal with pain, and I don't think suicide is the answer; but sometimes it can be difficult to see other options when you've tried everything else. I know in my heart that things will get better someday.. though it can be difficult to have faith when life pummels at you on a frequent basis.

 

[Alexander Nicholi]

My former significant other had attempted suicide five times before I met her. The sixth she stopped short because of me.

The biggest thing you can do to help suicidal tendencies with a friend (or lover/family for that matter) is proving your caring. I happened to have plenty of passion to channel into her and bring her back up, luckily for her. She was convinced I was important and mattered, and how could she leave strings like me hanging?

Other times she wasn't as fortunate, and it's a really pitiful and grim thing to think about. A little fifth grade gender-dysphoric kid nearly hanging herself, getting a speech impediment through the traumatic brain injury. I thought it wasn't fair. But never in my life would I request her to speak.


That's the closest I've ever came to those sorts of things. I've always been of the opinion that suicide is not an honourable death, and that you have to go through all those pains over again in the next life anyway so you may just as well power through them and move on. Seek help, talk to therapists, talk to psychiatrists. See what their solutions are, that's their business. They're pros. And for comfort, the best thing I suggest to you is to continue social interaction. People like me will prey on and befriend you, or at least try to.

 

[JJ Styles]

#Cut4Zayn #BleedforZayn #NoZaynNoDirection

Disclaimer: Not a fan of 1D, and i really pity those parents who allowed their children to commit self-harm and POST BLOODY PICTURES on the internet. As someone who have used self-harm before as I'm about to tell it now, really.. HARDKOER 1D fans do not make sense.. Even their fellow ilk can't make sense of them.

Okay joking aside, I've committed self harm before. Usually on the times that I horribly screw up such as missed opportunities to get the girl that I liked because of my own stupidity with interaction of the opposite sex, or because i've allowed myself to get so addicted with other things than focus on school, eventually ending up being heavily delayed on my part. Sometimes i feel as if I don't punish myself for screwing up, I wouldn't improve. I've used self-harm as a way of motivating me not to screw up since I don't want to put anymore questionable scares on visible parts of my body.

As for suicide, I've had friends who contemplated such because of peer pressure, pressure from family, hard times, and all that. In a country were "developing" only means that the Upper Middle class up to the upper class only benefit or in better words, not have a life that sucks really hard compared to the less fortunate ones. I'm not even counting the poor. I'm counting the ones who don't have the most fortunate of jobs because they are either working for jobs that barely pay while having several mouths to feed, or worse. I've heard some of my acquaintances that if they don't pass more major subjects and fail more, they will be disgraced by their parents because of their inability to actually pass their academic requirements. I can't really blame them. Sometimes there are things in life that are so hard to cope with, especially when one considers the economical and even social conditions of the very state or country they are living on. One needs a piece of paper aka a DIPLOMA to land a job that would hopefully pay but only enough to just provide gas or public transport money, and loaves of bread, or pieces of fish per month. I'm talking about these friends and fellow colleagues who come from families who aren't that fortunate when they started as a family and are pressuring their children to make sure they pass else their failure will net serious consequences. The thing is, pressure SHOULD NOT BE USED. Motivation should. Discipline in order to motivate but not to fucking pressure. There are really some parents who take the whole term of PRESSURE way too seriously that failure would result into punishment and insertion of guilt. I've had friends who contemplated suicide because they can't pass and feel so much pressure from their parents to finish college. What I did was to actually help improve the study habits of these colleagues who i cared for, by helping them review in exams, and even offering last resort cheating tactics as well (Because I lie, I cheat, I steal. *insert Eddie Guerrero's theme*) just in case they really forgot the notes that i wholeheartedly provide. The thing is, its hard. Dealing with the parents of friends. I can understand that the parents really want their child to pass their studies so that the child upon finishing college would land a better and more stable and earning job than they did, but they also have to realize that if their child isn't studying hard enough, then there must be something lacking on their part as parents as well. Some of these peeps i know had parents who were difficult to live with because they were too distracting, yet those are the parents who pressure their child to "PLEASE PASS COLLEGE SO YOU CAN GET A FUCKING BETTER JOB THAN I DID AT YOUR AGE" thingamajig.

The thing is, it really takes more than just simple "PLEASE BE STRONG" statements to help people not commit more self harm and suicide. The only thing I'll say for the sake of my own privacy is that I've dealt with these issues before, and it took more than just the most cliche of words to help solve the problem. It required a lot more. So much more. It required working together to actually solve the problems and actually giving what was needed as well as changing of mindsets for the better.

I'm pretty much telling this to whoever wants to be future parents or to those who are planning to raise children. It takes a lot of work to synchronize to help solve a problem. It requires not only a change of heart to the defendant or patient, but also a change of heart from those who keep telling their kids to make sure they finish school, especially if they start screwing up their academics.

 

[Alexander Nicholi]

You know, for the longest time I guess I just had the memory buried, but listening to this brought it back to the surface. I'm starting to gather back all of the feelings I had when I was suicidal, and I guess I can say now I understand how it feels.

It's like escaping into nothing looks so attractive, going into not-being just sounds so nice... like all the things I ever wanted lied in me not existing. All the happiness I wanted, the friends, memories, experiences... all the pain doubling over into a happiness that I feel like I could touch. It felt as if I'd be crowned on my death, and had the things I was denied... It's making me a bit hot saying it, but I remember. It's not a pretty thought... I can't keep my composure for it, either.

 

[Entermaid]

The annoying things people say about suicide, "[insert name] was selfish" implying choice and disregard of others.

So many cases involve external issues which may or may not be controllable by the individual. There isn't any real autonomy by which someone chooses to enact/attempt suicide. Though with a change in environment, support, and therapy/medication (if needed) choice and autonomy can be restored as well as well-being.

Those who are in low-income and high crime areas (in the US), death of family members and loved ones, lgbt/minority (I think trans rates of attempting suicide are around 40%), and really any situation in which individuals feels powerless and doomed WITHOUT any agency to overcome their external circumstances. If it were the case that individuals perceived themselves in a situation in which they had power and hope, I seriously doubt they would attempt their own life. (Unless we are talking about the outliers such as Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath)

I attended school on an Indian Reservation and have witnessed the impacts on friends and family. Sometimes I completely forget until I look at school photos that these kids are not even alive. In such a small area of less than 500 people, there have been dozens of suicides and suicide attempts. Though, it makes sense since there was the condition of low income, substance abuse, social stigma, lack of law enforcement (lack of attention to rape and domestic abuse), low educational attainment, little to no social or income mobility, among other factors that disempowers the individuals perceived agency.

 

[Centipede Chan]

Still dealing with it even at this very moment. :/

 

[Fairy]

I had a friend who killed himself in 2010. Brian. He was bipolar, clinically depressed, a using heroin addict, and facing jail time for first degree robbery and possession of a class-one narcotic. He was also the smartest and most calculated young man I had ever met. If he truly felt he had no other options, than I can honestly say I believe him. For six months we lived together and used together before, one day in August, he drove to his parents house and shot himself in their driveway.

Brian was air lifted to a hospital where he died two hours later from blood loss due to a gunshot wound to the head. I still have a lot of mixed emotions and "what if"s about his death. Needless to say, I don't support or like his decision to kill himself, but he did what he did because he had no other options; and being in that dark and awful place with him taught me that. I wish he hung on, because some of us did survive it. I'm just sorry he never got the chance.

The laws of probability don't allow the amount of people we have on PC to not be impacted by suicide or contemplating it themselves in one way or another. If you are currently struggling with suicidal thoughts or know someone who is, I urge you to contact your area's suicide prevention hotline.

 

[Pendraflare]

Thankfully, I myself have never actually had suicidal thoughts before, but in November I heard that one of our "friends" that was in the private school I went to for over a decade and came over halfway through my time there, he reportedly committed suicide that month. I didn't care about him though as more than once, he was a pest.

As for the people that say it's cowardly, I really can't agree. And part of the reason for that is because it takes a lot of nerve to do something like stab or shoot yourself, and terminate your very existence just like that. But we have people who say it is cowardly, but most of the ones making that claim are ones that have had suicidal thoughts themselves.

 

[Alexander Nicholi]

Thankfully, I myself have never actually had suicidal thoughts before, but in November I heard that one of our "friends" that was in the private school I went to for over a decade and came over halfway through my time there, he reportedly committed suicide that month. I didn't care about him though as more than once, he was a pest.

As for the people that say it's cowardly, I really can't agree. And part of the reason for that is because it takes a lot of nerve to do something like stab or shoot yourself, and terminate your very existence just like that. But we have people who say it is cowardly, but most of the ones making that claim are ones that have had suicidal thoughts themselves.

tbh I never really saw it as cowardly. Maybe those who have been to that place want to deter those from going there...? I kind of agree with you. It takes a lot to do something like that.

 

[Entermaid]

Thankfully, I myself have never actually had suicidal thoughts before, but in November I heard that one of our "friends" that was in the private school I went to for over a decade and came over halfway through my time there, he reportedly committed suicide that month. I didn't care about him though as more than once, he was a pest.

As for the people that say it's cowardly, I really can't agree. And part of the reason for that is because it takes a lot of nerve to do something like stab or shoot yourself, and terminate your very existence just like that. But we have people who say it is cowardly, but most of the ones making that claim are ones that have had suicidal thoughts themselves.

Do you mean they AREN'T the ones that have had the suicidal thought themselves that believe it is cowardly?
If not, I have never heard of people that have suicidal thoughts as perceiving self-harm as cowardly.

Generally, terms like cowardly have negative connotations, others might say helpless or fearful of living. Fear and intolerance to the pain of living might be conflated as "cowardly", but it somehow makes it seem like a fixed personality trait which fails to address the external and internal relationship of severe depression. If people are using this term, they are probably just failing to think about the issue more critically.

 

[Gentleman Gengar]

I've dealt with suicidal thoughts in various cases: people finding me an annoyance, failure at performing simple tasks, homework assignments, and exams well, and failure at winning an argument/debate. Unfortunately, I'm too much of a coward to do the deed myself. I've only had a few online friends who're going through these things, because they suffer from depression. I don't self-harm out of depression though; I only self-harm if I ever got hit somewhere by accident and hit it at the same spot in hopes that the pain will go away (yeah, I'm that weird). Suicide in general, to me, really depends on your beliefs on the afterlife. If your religion forbids suicide, then don't, or else your soul may suffer for all eternity. If you don't believe there's an afterlife, then I still won't recommend suicide if your goal is to live longer or if you're afraid of death, but I can't stop you if you choose this path yourself.

I'm sorry but, how is someone finding you annoying or losing a debate even remotely a legitimate reason to end your own life? I don't understand your logic.

 

[Her]

I'm sorry but, how is someone finding you annoying or losing a debate even remotely a legitimate reason to end your own life? I don't understand your logic.

While the reasons given may appear to be underwhelming or unreasonable in this case, what has to be understood is that someone with suicidal thoughts or tendencies isn't in a healthy state of mind and what may seem illegitimate to you or me may mean the world to them. Logic doesn't come into play here; the thought processes and reasoning of someone with depression or a similar mental illness is twisted, distorted. By no means does that make them stupid or foolish, god no. It just means that something with arguably little consequence, such as being perceived as an annoyance, can become amplified to dark levels by the illness with no input by the person themselves and that's where the danger lies.

 

[Sirfetch’d]

I don't have time to read through this thread right now as much as I would like to because I want to see everyone's response but for now I will post mine.

I have a lot of experience in this because it's something that I have experienced personally. When I was very young something happened to me that really changed how I went about life. I never fully had control of anything and only wanted everything to be normal. I was unable to achieve that so I started exploring the options of suicide. I thought that if I ended my life that all of my troubles would vanish. While true, I was failing to see what it would do to those who care about me. I tried cutting, overdosing, among other things. I was never fully able to commit to it thankfully. A very good friend of mine who I owe all the thanks in the world to encouraged me to get professional help and I did. I now visit a therapist twice a week and take anxiety meds. I'm so happy that I finally have control of my life for the first time ever. Being suicidal is not something that anyone should ever go through but many do. If you are thinking about it, please talk to someone. Talk to me if you want to. Talking is the best medicine.

 

[Palamon]

I don't feel comfortable reading all the other replies here at the moment, I'm sorry if any of what I say is offensive, idiotic, misguided, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this will be the only post I won't include that pink font people tend to see around here.

I think about suicide quite a lot. I'm not exactly a happy person. I haven't been in years, so death always crosses my mind a lot. I often feel like that I'm not wanted by this world/people would feel happy if I weren't around anymore/I don't want to feel depressed anymore, whatever reason, the thought is always there. Sometimes, I take it to the extreme and say rather self deprecating things such as "I'm not real. I don't exist. I'm a dead girl." Etcetera, I guess you could call me "extreme". That, I guess I am. I figured a way to channel all my suicidal feelings into extremely dark stories, and for a little while, that helped suppress suicidal feelings and depression. But, this isn't about me, now is it? This is about suicide in general.

Suicide isn't selfish. There are people who don't want to feel sad anymore. There are people who don't want to live the life they're currently live anymore. I understand that. I'm there, too. Of course, suicide is very sad and makes a lot of people upset if someone commits it. Calling suicide selfish is selfish, in my opinion. I don't know, this is coming from a sui person herself. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but, suicide isn't selfish.

As for self-harming... I still do that. It's kind of an addiction of mine, but it's been a lot less severe as of late. I barely do it anymore. Back then, I had my reasons. I wanted to, I don't know, feel something, anything, because I felt for the longest time that I was numb, in a sense.

Don't self-harm. You'll be left with permanent scars from it if you cut too deep. That happened to me once. I was stupid. I shouldn't have done that, but it happened. The scars I got are all deserved. I know I personally deserve them for self-harming, and I deserve the pain I get from them. Anyway, self-harm is a horrible addiction. If you have feelings of self-harm, try and suppress them. That's how I was able to stop with it. I threw away all the "weapons" (paperclips) I used to inflict self-harm. It helps.

They do say that every life is precious, but I don't like living as much as the next person. How is that precious?