Who needs a pet when you have family? Just feed them treats whenever they do something right and whack them with coat hangers when they botch it up. They're quite self-sufficient and obedient, but occasionally you do have to try and drown them for their own good.
It's imperative to maintain the fine line between master and slave, though, 'cause they do tend to become mutinous.
But if you don't want the hassle, then get those water monkeys or whatever they are. It's very disappointing when they in fact turn out to be krill or something equally as boring, yet one could argue it's preparing you for life as a whole.
