I didn't realise this topic was here! Well, since I replied to the other one, may as well reply to this one as well.
The short version: being used, and being disrespected.
Now, for the longer version.
I'm sure there's a better way to phrase it than "being used" but that is honestly how other people make me feel. If I'm not an unofficial therapist, then I'm treated like a new toy: something someone is interested in initially and will engage with for a while, but quickly loses interest in and discards, until they remember it exists and take it out again for a bit. People often assume that I don't have feelings because I don't share them - or much of anything else, I'm quite a private person - or just don't think of me at all. I don't really like casual conversation all that much. I don't like being ignored until it suits someone to talk to me. I don't like being treated like a doll, to be stuffed away in a dark closet and forgotten about until such time as there is nothing better to do than waste time on me. Except for my partner, nobody ever wants to talk to me because they find me to be a worthwhile individual. I'm used to distract from boredom. I'm "interesting" or something similar. I know it's intended to be a compliment, but it's dehumanising and I absolutely HATE it.
...and yes, before anyone bites my head off over this, I know it's a "me" problem as much as it is anything else. Maybe I should try initiating conversation every once in a while. Here's the thing, though - every time I do, it quickly fizzles out. People don't bother responding after a while. Which is totally fine, don't get me wrong - everyone has a life, bigger priorities than someone they don't know, and I am also acutely aware that I am not everyone's cup of tea - in fact, I don't think I am anyone's cup of tea; I'm fairly sure people can be split into two categories: people who hate me, and people who don't know me - and I am also aware that other people just aren't interested in the same kind of interaction that I am. This is all totally fine - some people you get along with, others you don't, and at the end of the day we're all going to put ourselves first. But I am not interested in pretending that a casual acquaintanceship is somehow friendship, or in being used as a convenient distraction whenever someone decides their life has a spare moment for me. I actually want to connect with people, and build something more lasting and meaningful than idle banter I can easily get from a Discord server. When people approach me outside of that setting with this attitude towards interaction, it infuriates me. It's one of the reasons I don't bother approaching people myself any more, personal insecurities aside. I'm not interested in using people, or in being used myself. Don't waste my time and I won't waste yours.
Being disrespected is kind of a broad category, but it generally comes down to the assumptions people make about me without bothering to clarify, from the more mundane things like my biological sex/gender identity (that's a very common one) to the idea that they can somehow see into my mind and know why I have the opinions I have. Also, when people play the "in your opinion" card when we're having a discussion. That infuriates me as well. No shit, Sherlock. It's the fucking internet, and we're not having a scientific discussion using objective facts. That's almost as aggravating as being personally attacked for having a different opinion - it's both extremely disrespectful and pathetically banal. If people aren't prepared to have a civilised conversation based on the understanding that it is literally just a conversation and not an argument, then I'm really not interested in talking to them. I'm too old for internet drama, and I have absolutely nothing to prove to other people: I think what I think, and I respect other people's right to do the same, even if I personally disagree with it. We can have a conversation about it. What we cannot and will not do is have an argument about it...and I'm getting a little tired of people picking a fight because they think I'm picking a fight. No, I will NOT moderate my language or add "in my opinion" at the end of every sentence to satisfy you. God knows nobody else does. People who approach me from either of these standpoints are people I do not have time for.
