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Being hard on yourself.

Crystal Berry

Crystal Berry

    • 728
    Posts
    9
    Years
    Do any of you have this problem where you feel you may be overly critical of yourself?

    Sometimes I think that others find me annoying, and sometimes I feel unattractive or not good enough, but it seems that feeling this way is actually really normal. Normally when people get to know me they really like me, but I still feel worried all the time about making mistakes or people getting the wrong idea about me if I say something wrong. I noticed people tend to judge others very quick, so I try to stay a bit professional in the public eye, and be more silly and carefree when I'm not in a place where strangers can easily judge me. I think that I'm probably just too critical of myself sometimes because I have a lot of friends who think I worry about small things, but we all have our moments where we're just feeling down and that we're not good enough?

     
    I usually listen to this song when I feel like I'm being overly critical of myself. Makes me realize I'm fine the way I am.

     
    I'm reeeeally hard on myself. If I make a mistake at my job, I get really anxious about it, and think my entire work performance sucks for days. Takes me a while to get over things. Also, it's the reason why I don't post a lot of my voice acting or songs online. Cause I'm like "Nah, not good enough". Within the last year or so I've been trying to get better at telling myself that it's impossible to make mistakes, because that's part of how you learn in the first place.
     
    I'm extremely guilty of this. I've been told by many people close to me that it's probably my biggest flaw because of just how hard I am. I am definitely my own worst critic.
     
    I have always been hard on myself especially when i mess up on anything I will immediately shut down and just worry about my mistake.
     

    I don't think I'm particularly hard on myself. Therein lies the problem, according to some people I've had a discussion about this with: I genuinely believe it. I find it easier to list my perceived faults than any positive aspects of my character, and it takes a lot for me to admit or accept any kind of positive reinforcement...to the endless frustration of my doctors. I'm just not geared for it. Besides that, criticism implies that you only THINK the worst of yourself. I know exactly how disgraceful/pathetic/worthless/useless (delete/add as appropriate) I am; I don't NEED to criticise myself.

    But in this insincere, farcical world where people are so reluctant to criticise others in order to preserve their own image, it often means that if you don't criticise yourself, nobody will. I don't even think of it so much as criticism as I do an exercise of humility and a more balanced outlook on oneself - you might not be quite as bad as you think you are, but you're not as good as you pretend you are. It never hurts to criticise yourself, to remind yourself that you could be better than what you are, because how are you going to improve otherwise? So you have these faults...what are you going to do about it? Admitting there is room for improvement is the first step towards making said improvements.


     
    I tend to be very hard on myself. I tend to set myself up to high standards, and really get upset if I don't feel as if I am meeting those standards. It really does stress me out, lol.
     
    I'm extremely guilty of this, and it's moreso since I have very low self esteem. I'm a huge perfectionist when it comes to myself and if anything bad ever happens I'm the first to blame me, because obviously I must have done something wrong.
    I just feel like I'm worthless and no one likes me, so I have to do better than anyone.
     
    I tend to think pretty lowly of myself. Most of it is due to some trust issues and bad experiences. I've had people tell that I really on others too much and can be very needy. I do know at times, I can come off too strongly towards others as well. It's like I don't have any control over my actions or what I'm doing. Sort of like having someone take over and do everything for me... if that makes sense? O_o

    Anyway, yeah... I do feel pretty low of myself because of those things. I think a lot of it is due to my past though. I struggle to understand certain social rules and boundaries that most people understand really easily. This is why it's often harder to make friends. I feel like I might come off too strongly towards the person. :/
     
    Like the others, I can pretty hard on myself as I tend to worry about if I said something wrong to someone or if I made a mistake. I still struggle with this sometimes, but I do try not to keep thinking too much what has already been done and to relax.

    Crystal Berry said:
    Do any of you have this problem where you feel you may be overly critical of yourself?

    Sometimes I think that others find me annoying, and sometimes I feel unattractive or not good enough, but it seems that feeling this way is actually really normal. Normally when people get to know me they really like me, but I still feel worried all the time about making mistakes or people getting the wrong idea about me if I say something wrong. I noticed people tend to judge others very quick, so I try to stay a bit professional in the public eye, and be more silly and carefree when I'm not in a place where strangers can easily judge me. I think that I'm probably just too critical of myself sometimes because I have a lot of friends who think I worry about small things, but we all have our moments where we're just feeling down and that we're not good enough?
    Click to expand...

    I think many of us have those moments going by the responses here. In some situations like a networking event I worry about presenting myself and if I acted professional or not.

    Drew said:
    I'm reeeeally hard on myself. If I make a mistake at my job, I get really anxious about it, and think my entire work performance sucks for days. Takes me a while to get over things. Also, it's the reason why I don't post a lot of my voice acting or songs online. Cause I'm like "Nah, not good enough". Within the last year or so I've been trying to get better at telling myself that it's impossible to make mistakes, because that's part of how you learn in the first place.
    Click to expand...

    Replace voice acting/songs with writing and that's me, haha. And I agree with the impossible to make mistakes part. Even though I can get frustrated immediately if I did something wrong, I do tell myself to learn from my mistakes next time.
     
    I can over analyze and beat myself up for decisions that I've made. I still do it now here and there, but I've learned how to get control over those thoughts. Really at the end of the day you have yourself, there's a world out there of people who are going to be hard on you, so why not be good to yourself?
     
    making bad decisions often makes you a really self-critical person.

    so yeah.
     
    I definitely am a bit too hard on myself in some ways. I always feel like I could be doing more even when I may be doing above what is expected of me in some cases, but I'd rather think I could work harder than be complacent.
     
    I'm pretty hard on myself, but I don't think it's a bad thing. I only do it if it's something I need to work on, or constantly improve at. Take my job, for instance. If I'm not consistently at my best, then that means people aren't getting the best coffee I can make them, and that's just not acceptable. People come to me expecting good coffee that they'll want to come back for. If I burn a shot, mess up on the measurements, or don't make them what they ordered, then they just wasted their money on something I made. And I don't like it when "wasted" can be used with something I made.

    I'm also pretty hard on myself with writing. I'm never satisfied with what I've written, and I can always improve. I don't let it haunt me, and will post a story once I feel like I'm okay with showing people. Rather then it being a voice inside my head telling me it's not good enough, it's a constant motivation that lets me know I have to try in order to improve. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn, and if I do mess up, I get right back to it and analyze what I just did so I can do it better next time.
     
    Am I tough on myself? Yes
    In a good way? No

    I really don't think that my being tough on myself has any benefits to my person or situation at all, and only serves to make the problems worse. These being low self-esteem and lesser depression, similar to flight.
     
    Being hard on myself has made me a much stronger and more successful person today. I used to never push myself and just be satisfied with whatever and it got me nowhere. Pushing yourself for the better is definitely not a bad thing at all.
     
    I honestly am not particularly critical of myself, although I do generally strive for better on things I need improvement on.
     
    I'm not hard on myself at all, which to some extent is a good thing because I think I'd be pretty miserable if I was but... it also means I don't have a lot of drive to improve, so I stagnate a lot. And when I massively screw up, I don't always learn from my mistakes because I just tell myself stuff like "ah whatever it's okay, it's not really your fault". Or I just recognize I was at fault but don't let myself dwell on it to figure out how to take the steps to prevent it from happening again. :/
     
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