Lonely
Lonely
Disappointment
Petty, sadly
idk regret? just accepting the consequences of my actions. and tired.
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My word: scared.
Spoiler:I've had a messaged typed out to someone for about 6 days now but can't bring myself to hit Enter.
That's kinda like what happens when I depersonalize. Like, I'm still me, but everything that consists of me (my emotions, my personality, my sense of self) feels like it's standing two feet behind me. And I can kinda mentally touch it and know what I would/should be feeling.. but the emotion never reaches my brain as more than just information. It's difficult to describe but yeah, that empty feeling of being just a vessel for your organs when your consciousness is just... somewhere else. And being aware of those two states of being simultaneously. It's very strange!For the past few weeks: Nothing.
No happiness, no sadness, no feeling of being overjoyed, no feeling of being depressed.
Feels like I just...don't exist? Or feel empty? Like even if I am feeling down for one second, I tell myself, what are you even feeling sad about, and back to neutral mode. IDK if it's a good thing or a bad thing lol, just feels like all the emotions in me are gone!
Heck, I don't even know what to feel about this post! I guess it is a blessing in disguise, I have stopped complaining and crying about random shit, soo! ^^;
That's kinda like what happens when I depersonalize. Like, I'm still me, but everything that consists of me (my emotions, my personality, my sense of self) feels like it's standing two feet behind me. And I can kinda mentally touch it and know what I would/should be feeling.. but the emotion never reaches my brain as more than just information. It's difficult to describe but yeah, that empty feeling of being just a vessel for your organs when your consciousness is just... somewhere else. And being aware of those two states of being simultaneously. It's very strange!
Right now, I am exhausted and rather lonely. :(
For the past few weeks: Nothing.
No happiness, no sadness, no feeling of being overjoyed, no feeling of being depressed.
Feels like I just...don't exist? Or feel empty? Like even if I am feeling down for one second, I tell myself, what are you even feeling sad about, and back to neutral mode. IDK if it's a good thing or a bad thing lol, just feels like all the emotions in me are gone!
Heck, I don't even know what to feel about this post! I guess it is a blessing in disguise, I have stopped complaining and crying about random shit, soo! ^^;
That's kinda like what happens when I depersonalize. Like, I'm still me, but everything that consists of me (my emotions, my personality, my sense of self) feels like it's standing two feet behind me. And I can kinda mentally touch it and know what I would/should be feeling.. but the emotion never reaches my brain as more than just information. It's difficult to describe but yeah, that empty feeling of being just a vessel for your organs when your consciousness is just... somewhere else. And being aware of those two states of being simultaneously. It's very strange!
Right now, I am exhausted and rather lonely. :(
Exhausted.
Pensive