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Help & Advice Thread

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25,512
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11
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I would like an explanation for the definition of the "4/25" rule.

You can find all of PCs forum-wide rules here. I recommend that you look into them as well as sectional rules. In the future please direct any questions about the website and its rules to the Community Questions and Feedback forum found near the top of the main index page. This thread is for asking for help and advice in relation to events outside of PC, not for queries about the rules.
 
288
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8
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You can find all of PCs forum-wide rules here. I recommend that you look into them as well as sectional rules. In the future please direct any questions about the website and its rules to the Community Questions and Feedback forum found near the top of the main index page. This thread is for asking for help and advice in relation to events outside of PC, not for queries about the rules.

I would imagine it being a little more convenient for this thread being able to answer my question, but it suppose I doesn't matter. I will post my question there instead. I have also evaluated the rules, of course. I'm not sure why you assume I haven't. Whatever the case, no big deal. I'll that in mind.
 
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Kura

twitter.com/puccarts
10,994
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19
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What insensitive FREAKS do you live with, KYO? D:< That is COMPLETELY intolerable! It's unacceptable.. I can't explain it!

Especially in 'school' too? Weren't there teachers to fine the bullies?

We have very strict laws at schools and colleges in my place. So, bullies don't normally get away with things.

And I've been in your shoes. So, I know what you mean. But, my school had thoroughly safe-guarded me from exterior hardships.

(I won't tell you in what way I'm similar to you because, I can be reserved about these things at times. But, just understand that I know what you mean and I can feel it.)

Also, stay strong..

You're not one of those low-lives.

You are exalted and superior in terms of knowing what life can really be.

You have to walk out there with a big chest and do what you're there for and follow your dreams!

Ignore the hatred and don't get side-tracked is all I have to say.

Of all the people, you should be the last to feel so sensitive about your condition.

Go out there and show who's boss!

And I wish I was there with you so we could both show people who's boss. We could have been great real-life friends...

But, I think you can stand on your own feet and not need my shoulder too. But, I'm still always right here if you ever need me! : )



Once again, thank you very much, Psychic. Your words of concern just make my day! : )

And yeah, my city is like that.. But hey, I think I can get around it now... :)

I was just searching for a clue and was feeling overwhelmed, but coming to this thread helped me rewire a lot of things. ^.^

How old are you and do you have healthcare insurance or benefits at work? I'm not sure of your whole situation but I know there are some free mental health helplines that you can call to help you with this, but ideally you can find a therapist to help you with this specifically and can cater their sessions to you to really help with these issues. Often I find that school counsellors aren't necessarily trained well enough to deal with psychological disorders that are this deep. And sometimes some people don't gel well with their therapist and have to just do a little bit of searching around until they find one that's right for them.

You should look into what "CBT" and "Psychodynamic" therapies are to see if they might appeal to you. I think this might be a good route for you.
 

Nah

15,942
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Where's the best place to go to buy games? Should I order online instead?
The Video Games section would far and away be the better place to ask this question, so ask there instead. This thread is more for substantial irl issues.
 
303
Posts
8
Years
About helping a friend

Hello eveyone how are you? I hope you are good. What came to me a bit unexpectedly is that a friend of mine has hit a wall that he cannot conquer. After thinking a bit about it, i would like to listen for opinions/thoughts and talk about them. The problem is that he cannot find his dream job no matter what and he has changed 2 careers already. The main problem is that he tried both some internet quizzes (which i told him to not try because they are not good but didn't listen to me about it lol).

Also, he has tried speaking to people and friends and people certified with the ability to help but he is quite introvert and he didn't have a rating in none of the sections a lot higher than others. I have caught him and stopped him once from drinking a lot of alcohol because he drank so much that he was gonna out of control. I don't know what to do because i have tried telling him to think what makes him passionate but he seems to cannot find it. What makes this problem tougher, is that he resides in Greece currently and Greece as you know (well some of you i think you know) has many economy problems, problems with jobs e.t.c. From his last call, (1 week ago) yeah i know a lot of time but he didn't hang it up but i know he is ok now because i call his parents to learn about him he said that he seems that when he goes in jobs in Greece he somehow feels unconfortable or sometimes managers aren't good there and then he cannot work properly and told me that he would like to go abroad since Greece sucks at everything.

That left me a bit shocked to be honest because i don't know how things are there. Indeed, he lacks money because if he could move he could have done it i think and has only school degree and i told him that finding a job and generally get along abroad costs some money and really in his situation i think that he needs to be lucky. From what he told me is that in his 1st job as a marine enginner cadet from college he collected money so he could gratuate abroad to a ? section (me neither i don't know) and his 2nd job internship in a hotel from another college but he failed both of them payed and drop out of them completely without achieving the necessary years. I know it may sound difficult but i wanna help him for 2 reasons.

First of all, we found each other through a MMO game (Fiesta MMORPG) and we had amazing fun together and secondly because he has helped me in the past with a personal problem (i won't analyze because i don't wanna confuse you) and for me it counts so i think it's a good idea to repay him right? Thanks for your interest guys and hope you can help him.

P.S Latest updates and some characteristics which may help: He is very introvert and shy, not sociable (I thought he was completely alone thank God he has a family), his money from the two jobs is around 1000 euro, he is very kind for his age (i think he is 22 atm), he likes surfing the net,music and video games mostly but as hobbies haven't thought any of them as jobs and he now is very bored with Greece and would like to go abroad and likes mostly America (don't know the reason yet but maybe i could imagine because has many job chances who knows lol). More info is that he thinks that he has the energy to do something but he can't find what that's what i think after talking with him. Unfortunately he hasn't fb,twitter or any social media account (he used to but he deleted all). Hope something good can come out of it.

P.S 2 I'm very sorry guys but it was something which i couldn't devour easily so i thought sharing could decrease it's weight because it's very heavy for me indeed.
 

Electricbluewolf

Bᴇ pıɟɟǝɹǝuʇ
395
Posts
8
Years

I think it's hard to have a friendship when you're far away from people, as sometimes all they need is that physical side of things to help them through. It's very nice of you to try and help him.

I'm probably going to sound very nasty, but it's going to be truthful. Your friend seems to have run out of motivation. Greece is in a serious amount of debt at the moment, and the only things keeping it a float are the tourist industry and exports (there are little of them) In facts Greece's collapse has probably ruined the whole of the European Union, but that is another thing to debate. What matters is is that moral is very low. People are losing their jobs daily, money is very tight, prices are going up. He may have seen people he know lose their livelihoods, parents getting less money or less work, and this takes tolls on people.

I'm very confused as to why he is using an internet quiz to find his dream job. That is not a reliable way to get inspiration or good job-head at all. Unless he is that desperate to find something he loves. What he should do is make a list of things he does enjoy and what he doesn't enjoy. He can then look online for what jobs he could apply for that have the things he enjoys. Unfortunately, unless you work for yourself, job aspects are going to have negatives. He has to weigh them out and see if the positives out weigh the negatives.

The problem with finding jobs abroad is that a) as you've said you need money. Most countries will refuse you working or civilian visa if you do not have enough money I think for 3 months to support yourself and b) If he has no work experience, and has a track record of dropping out then he's not going to find his "dream job". Especially in America, people love a good hard working ethic. If he doesn't put himself out there, it's going to be very hard. Some people can make it if they don't have the experience, but they need to be a social person, make friends easily, and show people they mean business.

To me he hasn't found out what he is passionate about. Maybe as part of his hobby, he could get into game design or coding. Work with him on what he likes, as obviously getting any old random job won't suit him.

But please don't tangle yourself over. I know it is extremely hard, as he is your online friend and he supported you, but it is his life. He needs to take control of it as no-one else can. Of course be there for him, and support him, but don't support his wrong decisions as a true friend tells you when it's a bad idea.
 
303
Posts
8
Years
I think it's hard to have a friendship when you're far away from people, as sometimes all they need is that physical side of things to help them through. It's very nice of you to try and help him.

I'm probably going to sound very nasty, but it's going to be truthful. Your friend seems to have run out of motivation. Greece is in a serious amount of debt at the moment, and the only things keeping it a float are the tourist industry and exports (there are little of them) In facts Greece's collapse has probably ruined the whole of the European Union, but that is another thing to debate. What matters is is that moral is very low. People are losing their jobs daily, money is very tight, prices are going up. He may have seen people he know lose their livelihoods, parents getting less money or less work, and this takes tolls on people.

I'm very confused as to why he is using an internet quiz to find his dream job. That is not a reliable way to get inspiration or good job-head at all. Unless he is that desperate to find something he loves. What he should do is make a list of things he does enjoy and what he doesn't enjoy. He can then look online for what jobs he could apply for that have the things he enjoys. Unfortunately, unless you work for yourself, job aspects are going to have negatives. He has to weigh them out and see if the positives out weigh the negatives.

The problem with finding jobs abroad is that a) as you've said you need money. Most countries will refuse you working or civilian visa if you do not have enough money I think for 3 months to support yourself and b) If he has no work experience, and has a track record of dropping out then he's not going to find his "dream job". Especially in America, people love a good hard working ethic. If he doesn't put himself out there, it's going to be very hard. Some people can make it if they don't have the experience, but they need to be a social person, make friends easily, and show people they mean business.

To me he hasn't found out what he is passionate about. Maybe as part of his hobby, he could get into game design or coding. Work with him on what he likes, as obviously getting any old random job won't suit him.

But please don't tangle yourself over. I know it is extremely hard, as he is your online friend and he supported you, but it is his life. He needs to take control of it as no-one else can. Of course be there for him, and support him, but don't support his wrong decisions as a true friend tells you when it's a bad idea.


Thanks a lot Electicbluewolf i will keep it in mind although it's a bit heavy to pass it to him i know truth can hurt a lot sometimes but what worries me most is how he is gonna react :)
 
1,088
Posts
16
Years
dealing with depression(somewhat)

i been dealing with a little bit of depression and been like a emotional roller coaster since my best friend who was also like a brother passed away thursday morning i havent felt the same since then i havent cooked anything since and im not sure if i will be cooking today either i not sure how long this will last or when i will start feeling like myself again some songs me and my best friend would listen to sometimes makes me want to tear up and cry like one example free bird by Lynard Skynyrd
 
10,769
Posts
14
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i been dealing with a little bit of depression and been like a emotional roller coaster since my best friend who was also like a brother passed away thursday morning i havent felt the same since then i havent cooked anything since and im not sure if i will be cooking today either i not sure how long this will last or when i will start feeling like myself again some songs me and my best friend would listen to sometimes makes me want to tear up and cry like one example free bird by Lynard Skynyrd

I'm very sorry you lost your friend. That must be very hard on you right now.

It's hard to say when you might feel like yourself again. Everyone experiences grief in their own way. You'll know when you start to feel more like yourself so don't feel like you have to do anything by a certain point. If you have anyone nearby let them do any cooking or whatever else needs doing.

I wish there were a lot of help someone from the internet could give you. If you feel like writing about how you feel or about your friend you could put up here and it will definitely get read.

Again, I'm really sorry about your friend.
 
1,088
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16
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its been over a week since my best friend passed and it is still doing a huge toll on me and my friends that knew him me and him where really close since his death my other pals have been worried since they knew me and my best firend where close and me and him pretty much hanged every weekend and one of my friends is gonna try to move up closer to my area to make sure i stay ok and have someone to hang with on the weekends
 
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14
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its been over a week since my best friend passed and it is still doing a huge toll on me and my friends that knew him me and him where really close since his death my other pals have been worried since they knew me and my best firend where close and me and him pretty much hanged every weekend and one of my friends is gonna try to move up closer to my area to make sure i stay ok and have someone to hang with on the weekends

That's really good news that your friend is going to spend time with you. I'm glad to hear it. I hope that you're doing at least a little better.
 

Jessie

Don't forget to be awesome.
1,038
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16
Years
So hoping to get a bit of life advice. Career/work related.

I have a fantastic job. I work at an amazing company with some great people (my dad is one of them!). Everyone is extremely kind and caring, the company has a great employee appreciation program, however, I am going crazy. I am sitting inside in a cubicle punching numbers all day, which is definitely not what I want to do. I wouldn't say that I am to the point where I am absolutely depressed, but I do not enjoy what I do. At all.

Now, I have been given an opportunity to do my dream job. It sounds great, but there's one issue. First, the good: In addition to making almost the same amount I am now (about $100 less per month on average) I would be getting free rent including utilities. I would be able to keep my horse in front of my little cottage (this is a working horse farm position) and my dog and two cats are welcome as well. Essentially, I'd be able to put almost everything I make into savings (other than food, insurance, cell phone bill). I'd be outside all day (YES!), working around horses (which is my passion). Now, the downfall: I have spoken to several people who say that the owner is kind of hard to work for (one person said think of Devil Wears Prada). However, when I went in to meet with her the first time she seemed very nice. I don't know if it's just that people don't like this type of work (it's a lot of hard physical farm work, which I'm happier and healthier mentally and physically doing), maybe they're just disgruntled, but I have had several people tell me to stay away.

I am a bit worried that if this turns into a toxic work place I can't "get away" since I'll be living on site, if that makes sense. Now obviously I would be able to just give my notice if I wanted to and it came to that, but then I'd also be out of a job.

So, I'm conflicted. On one hand, this sounds like everything I've ever wanted - plus more! I would be able to put a lot into savings. I'd be able to have my horse in my back yard without paying a mortgage on a horse farm. I'd be surrounded by what I love all day. On the other hand, what if this is a horrible situation I'm getting myself into? I am going to work two "trial" days, before I decide as well over the next two weeks.

So...do I stay at the job I hate with the people I love, or go for the job I'd love with people I might potentially hate?
 
5,983
Posts
15
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So hoping to get a bit of life advice. Career/work related.

I have a fantastic job. I work at an amazing company with some great people (my dad is one of them!). Everyone is extremely kind and caring, the company has a great employee appreciation program, however, I am going crazy. I am sitting inside in a cubicle punching numbers all day, which is definitely not what I want to do. I wouldn't say that I am to the point where I am absolutely depressed, but I do not enjoy what I do. At all.

Now, I have been given an opportunity to do my dream job. It sounds great, but there's one issue. First, the good: In addition to making almost the same amount I am now (about $100 less per month on average) I would be getting free rent including utilities. I would be able to keep my horse in front of my little cottage (this is a working horse farm position) and my dog and two cats are welcome as well. Essentially, I'd be able to put almost everything I make into savings (other than food, insurance, cell phone bill). I'd be outside all day (YES!), working around horses (which is my passion). Now, the downfall: I have spoken to several people who say that the owner is kind of hard to work for (one person said think of Devil Wears Prada). However, when I went in to meet with her the first time she seemed very nice. I don't know if it's just that people don't like this type of work (it's a lot of hard physical farm work, which I'm happier and healthier mentally and physically doing), maybe they're just disgruntled, but I have had several people tell me to stay away.

I am a bit worried that if this turns into a toxic work place I can't "get away" since I'll be living on site, if that makes sense. Now obviously I would be able to just give my notice if I wanted to and it came to that, but then I'd also be out of a job.

So, I'm conflicted. On one hand, this sounds like everything I've ever wanted - plus more! I would be able to put a lot into savings. I'd be able to have my horse in my back yard without paying a mortgage on a horse farm. I'd be surrounded by what I love all day. On the other hand, what if this is a horrible situation I'm getting myself into? I am going to work two "trial" days, before I decide as well over the next two weeks.

So...do I stay at the job I hate with the people I love, or go for the job I'd love with people I might potentially hate?

Could you ask for more details from the people who suggested you stay away? You could tell them about your first impressions of her and ask them, if they're willing, to give you examples backing up what they're telling you.
 

Jessie

Don't forget to be awesome.
1,038
Posts
16
Years
Could you ask for more details from the people who suggested you stay away? You could tell them about your first impressions of her and ask them, if they're willing, to give you examples backing up what they're telling you.

I did ask two of them. One hasn't replied back and the other one was sort of vague. ~_~ I'm thankful the lady is going to let me work a few trial days. She seems to really want to make it work with me, so I don't know! I'm just confused. D:
 
10,769
Posts
14
Years
How easy was it to get the job you have now? I know getting a job isn't easy, but if the job you have now is something that you could potentially come back to if things don't work out then that's something to consider. It would maybe let you feel like you didn't have to choose one job over the other and have to stick with it forever.

Personally, I think people are happier doing work that they enjoy. I have a job like the one you have: sitting around all day with papers and all that. It's not what I want to do and it eats at me sometimes and it's not something I would recommend for other people. It's hard to just quit a job that has security though, and in your case has the benefit of working with good people. It's a risk to change jobs, but sometimes the risks are worth it. A friend of mine quit a job he'd had for several years and was able to find a better one that he was happier in.

But getting a chance to meet her yourself should be really useful. Sometimes people rub someone the wrong way not because they're mean or anything, but they just have conflicting personalities.
 

Jessie

Don't forget to be awesome.
1,038
Posts
16
Years
How easy was it to get the job you have now? I know getting a job isn't easy, but if the job you have now is something that you could potentially come back to if things don't work out then that's something to consider. It would maybe let you feel like you didn't have to choose one job over the other and have to stick with it forever.

Personally, I think people are happier doing work that they enjoy. I have a job like the one you have: sitting around all day with papers and all that. It's not what I want to do and it eats at me sometimes and it's not something I would recommend for other people. It's hard to just quit a job that has security though, and in your case has the benefit of working with good people. It's a risk to change jobs, but sometimes the risks are worth it. A friend of mine quit a job he'd had for several years and was able to find a better one that he was happier in.

But getting a chance to meet her yourself should be really useful. Sometimes people rub someone the wrong way not because they're mean or anything, but they just have conflicting personalities.

Thanks Esper! I've gotten a few other opinions as well. I'm thinking my gut is telling me to stay where I am. But, I'll go to the trial days and see what happens.

Thanks for your opinions and not being rude about it! I tried asking on my horse forum and everyone there is so mean about it! >_>
 
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