that's a very silly thing to say. i have no idea how being 34 would make you a predator. Unless you joined pokecommunity so you can look for children to exploit, no you aren't a predator. there would probably be many banned users if age automatically made someone a predator.
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[Life] Mental health club
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Venonat in Space
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Yeah, that was silly of me to say (proves where my brain is at this stage of life). I honestly think people who are predators are disgusting. I *think* I know one personally in real life and he's such a loser so.....but he doesn't come here so thank god (not the same guy mentioned in spoiler).
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Struggling a lot with recent events. Migraines and anxiety.
There's a good amount of 30+ users in PC, me being one. The owner is turning 30 herself and me and another 30 something are mods. There's nothing inherently wrong with being on this forum at 34, there's plenty of adults here!
Venonat in Space
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Well that's a relief.
I'm glad you all accept me for my ASD and age. It's great being part of this community.
Well I spoke to the guy I was seeing, and he was actually mature enough to understand everything he put me through emotionally. I told him after my trip, i'll have no one to rely on at the east coast except him hence why I went back to him. Vacations don't last forever. I no longer have a crush on my father's wife (well maybe a little) and am no longer afraid of my father himself. Me and my dad actually went to the mall for two hours and had a great time. At Gamestop, he insisted he'd buy a video game for me. However I just want the one game Legends Arceus and he understood it doesn't come out until early 2022. So....yeah. Good stuff.
I still want to be part of the mental health club due to my ASD. Let's stay positive people. But I have a hunch i'm gonna need you guys after the trip ends in June. So uh, promise me you'll all stay strong no matter what life throws at you.
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Nothing really changing on my end. Well, it's only five weeks until the next appointment now and not six anymore. Because, you know: one week has passed <_<
I imagine it must have been very hard to keep it to yourself. So I'm glad you managed to open up, especially if it makes things better for you. ^-^
Venonat in Space
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Yeah, it was very hard to keep to myself. But i'm glad I opened up about the truth i've been hiding for so long dang.
Yeah, actually, even though I told him to not text me until Monday (Mothers Day am I right?) he actually called me. I had to confess to the people i've been waiting to see for a over year the truth about the nothingness waiting on the East Coast, and honestly, this guy came into my life at such an odd time. My dad and step-mom knew a little about him and were worried about my excessive phone use and his questionable yet unknown past. He's seems more innocent on the phone than on text to be honest. I just don't know if he's playing me for a fool. I'm so torn between before May 28th and after May 28th (when I go back to the east coast). I actually live in a group home for adults with developmental disorders on the east coast (only 20 minutes from my biological mom but we don't really rub the right way). They don't treat me well at the group home. No physical abuse, but emotional abuse runs high. And this program I go to on the east coast is pure nothingness. I've got no one hence the reason for this trip to escape...then he came along out of nowhere. *sigh*
I really sound pathetic. :(
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Not at all. You just have a really rough time. But despite all of the trouble you seem to be facing it looks like there are still a lot of people who really care for you and only want the best for you. It might just be that things are looking up for you. I hope things will get better for you soon! ^o^
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Only just saw this, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. No one deserves any sort of abuse and you're not pathetic for talking about it at all. Is there really no way to report it, like Sandalphon said? x_x
Venonat in Space
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I *secretly* tried calling the justice center, but it didn't work out the way I wanted to. What if my manager of my house gets fired and we get someone worse ya know? There's always going to be that lingering fear.
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It'd be better to take that chance than to remain in a guaranteed bad situation.
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I feel so very guilty posting this here, knowing just how much everyone is struggling right now. It seems unfair and possibly triggering.
I try to keep up a happy appearance around the forum as much as possible, and also try to keep as positive an outlook as I can irl. It might not be particularly accurate, or representative of my actual problems, but it has sort of kept me going over the years.
But I'm really struggling to function right now. My physical problems are making life unbearable, and I'm completely broken mentally. I'm in a very dark place. I'm at rock bottom physically and emotionally.
I feel like I'm drowning. I've been trying so hard to fight against the tide, but it's simply too strong, and now it's completely overwhelmed me. I'm going under.
I think my biggest problem, is that I know I can't change my situation, in fact it's going to keep getting worse, a lot worse, and there's not a single thing I can do to stop it. I just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel at this moment in time.
Sorry everyone 😔
I try to keep up a happy appearance around the forum as much as possible, and also try to keep as positive an outlook as I can irl. It might not be particularly accurate, or representative of my actual problems, but it has sort of kept me going over the years.
But I'm really struggling to function right now. My physical problems are making life unbearable, and I'm completely broken mentally. I'm in a very dark place. I'm at rock bottom physically and emotionally.
I feel like I'm drowning. I've been trying so hard to fight against the tide, but it's simply too strong, and now it's completely overwhelmed me. I'm going under.
I think my biggest problem, is that I know I can't change my situation, in fact it's going to keep getting worse, a lot worse, and there's not a single thing I can do to stop it. I just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel at this moment in time.
Sorry everyone 😔
Venonat in Space
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No need to be sorry. I believe (correct me if i'm wrong) this is a place to vent your problems. And yeah, I feel your pain to a large degree. Throughout last month, I felt like I was going under too, and couldn't change my situation as well. That's why I kind of just...revealed who I really was (a 34 year old autistic girl).
You can PM me your problems if you want. I may not exactly relate, but I can try to give you advice.
I'm honestly getting sick of vacationing here on the west end of the country. There's something very limiting out here, and I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's hiding my boyfriend from my texts/phone from my dad and step mom. *sigh* Well I am going back to the east coast on May 20th, but we're going to spend a week in the city before I go back to my group-home on May 27th. It's going to be harder to hide my boyfriend because, well, it's not exactly a house there ya know. I think we're staying in a mini-suite for the week.
This trip was a mistake. This whole fiasco was a mistake. The ONLY thing i'm looking forward to for the rest of the trip is the spa day Monday (boy do I need it). But what is there waiting for me on the east coast besides my boyfriend? Everyone else is horrible in rl, but I kind of miss it. In my group home, there were a lot of May birthdays, and the manager said they were celebrating big time for two reasons in May. One being a bunch of May birthdays, and two being my absence. That hurt my feelings a lot.
I learned my lesson for the east coast. Stay away from the jerks. Sleep late. Just communicate with people who care. This vacation is just a temporary fantasy.
*ahem* Sorry. It had to be said.
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I'm sorry to hear that! Hopefully, you feel at least a little bit better now. D:
It's way too easy to forget what massive problems others may have if they try to keep up a positive appearance. I don't say that you should stop and just go all out with your problems. I trust your own judgement on when and what you want to talk about that ails you.
Just...be aware that whatever may happen in your life, positive or negative, if you want to talk, we're here and listen. :)
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I promise I will talk to someone if I really need to :)
Thank you all <3
I've made progress towards expression, which is a big deal for me. Through my entire teen years, I have struggled with articulating my feelings towards others. I care deeply, to the point that I make mental notes of what people are going through and feeling. When it comes to showing my feelings towards others externally, I struggle to convey it and the most I can do is express it through humor.
It was nice being able to tell a family member 'I hope you feel better' properly, instead of just cracking a joke. Being able to convey my thoughts through the use of this forum has definitely helped. It's easier to write how I feel online, and I'm glad that I've been able to start doing it offline.
It was nice being able to tell a family member 'I hope you feel better' properly, instead of just cracking a joke. Being able to convey my thoughts through the use of this forum has definitely helped. It's easier to write how I feel online, and I'm glad that I've been able to start doing it offline.
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Disclaimer, I have permission from my fiancé to talk about this:
He's officially been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (near borderline Catatonia), Generalized Anxiety, Seasonal Affective Disorder, a Liver malfunction caused by a lack of vitamins, and dramatically low Testosterone.
The good part is that since seeing he's new doctor, many of these issues have been on the mend. Obviously the depression and anxiety won't be cured overnight.. but the medication he's on combined with the Northern Hemisphere deep in Spring, and getting the vitamins he needs to correct his other issues has already made a huge impact. He's going things he enjoys again, even just little things like playing video games and just generally being excited about small things again. Progress has been slow, but these things take time and I'm already so proud of the steps he's taken. <3
He's officially been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (near borderline Catatonia), Generalized Anxiety, Seasonal Affective Disorder, a Liver malfunction caused by a lack of vitamins, and dramatically low Testosterone.
The good part is that since seeing he's new doctor, many of these issues have been on the mend. Obviously the depression and anxiety won't be cured overnight.. but the medication he's on combined with the Northern Hemisphere deep in Spring, and getting the vitamins he needs to correct his other issues has already made a huge impact. He's going things he enjoys again, even just little things like playing video games and just generally being excited about small things again. Progress has been slow, but these things take time and I'm already so proud of the steps he's taken. <3
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So happy to hear things are improving, it must be so stressful. T_T Slow progress is still progress and it seems like he's doing as much as he can!
My stress has been picking up lately. Visa here in ZA expires on the last day of June so I need to start booking my flight home, and then immediately scheduling a vaccine appointment as soon as I finish my self-isolation. Flying terrifies me so thinking of being on a plane again and having to deal with the turbulence makes me spiral into a panic. I've flown so many times but it just seems like the fear only gets worse, and the anxiety medication I'm prescribed (2mg diazepam) only barely helps. Wonder if I should ask for something stronger before I go. :s