Randomly Confronted by People (Strangers)

[Zaddd]

I haven't been here on this forum for months, so I was just asking how would you feel if you were randomly confronted by random people that you don't even know & how can you resolve it? Knowing well that you are minding your own business, holding in the disgust and insults to yourself caused by such disturbance. Well, these are not people. These are termed as "strangers". Strangers that you really don't have a reason to hate on, but they can appear anywhere at anytime at any location asking for help, unnecessary aid, etc. Even if they didn't, they do sorts of things to manipulate you and ruin your day. They can even be liars, too. Don't get me wrong, but I despise them. It's not only because they want to manipulate people, but it's quite hard to know exactly what they're capable of because simply put: it's hard to trust people.

How would you feel if you were randomly confronted by random people that you don't even know & how can you resolve it?

 

[colours]

i mean...depends on what they want, isn't it? i... don't honestly see the harm if they're asking for directions or whatever. because i frequently take public transit to get to place to place, it's sometimes people asking me if the bus they're riding on is the right one to get to wherever they're going.

not sure what there is to "resolve", though. i give them my response depending on whether i'm able to help them out, and keep going with my day.

 

[ReKoil]

Due to my job people think I'm basically a walking Google Maps/Satnav who knows where everything is and get asked for directions pretty much at least once every workday.
It's really not that troublesome though. If I know where it is I'll help them. If I don't I just say I don't know where it is.
There is no disgust or insult to hold in... like... wth? 😂
Maybe if they'd be rude to me, sure. But for normal stuff like that....

 

[Zeostar]

I've never had this happen, and it would probably make me uncomfortable.

There was one time I had a panic attack in a crowded place. I was clutching my chest and feeling constrained of air. There were a few people staring like it was a spectacle. Somebody I knew found me and I ended up okay anyways.

 

[Palamon]

I will likely just ignore you. I have stranger danger engraved into my mind because my appearance could be considered "cute". Although, a lot of strangers confront me about my bag that has a lot of keychains on it, and I'll just be polite and say "thank you." But, most of the time, I won't talk to any stranger that confronts me. I'm an extremely alert person. I like to always be on guard/suspect in case anyone is possibly a weirdo.

 

[Corrin]

This has happened to me before and I honestly just left the situation. I'm not really one for conflict unless it's unavoidable, then I'll see if we can work something out.

 

[Fairy]

Knowing well that you are minding your own business, holding in the disgust and insults to yourself caused by such disturbance.

they can appear anywhere at anytime at any location asking for help, unnecessary aid, etc. Even if they didn't, they do sorts of things to manipulate you and ruin your day. They can even be liars, too.

I despise them.

Okay, so, maybe I'm in the wrong here.. but I can't help but to infer that you're talking about homeless people. If not, my bad, it just sounds like it. Help me understand just what kind of manipulative people are confronting you?

And you should be careful about being so judgmental... like, we're all humans in this crazy race trying to get by.. show some empathy. :(

As for myself, I have no problem with strangers approaching me or approaching other people. While I do tend to shy away from unnecessary human contact, if I or someone else needs help or directions, hell yeah I'll do my best. Just today I spent hours out in the street offering candy to strangers. I came across a couple on my walk today who had a dog that was having issues walking. I approached them, asked if they needed help, etc.

 

[Devalue]

Depends.
- Asking direction or trying to locate something: Will assist, if able.
- Small-talk: Responds politely. Declines to contribute more.
- Asking for money or selling something: Says "Sorry, no" or "Not interested". Repeats that as necessary.
- Something in-your-face: Adds distance. Shrinks away from them, if sitting.

 

[Zaddd]

Okay, so, maybe I'm in the wrong here.. but I can't help but to infer that you're talking about homeless people. If not, my bad, it just sounds like it. Help me understand just what kind of manipulative people are confronting you?

And you should be careful about being so judgmental... like, we're all humans in this crazy race trying to get by.. show some empathy. :(

As for myself, I have no problem with strangers approaching me or approaching other people. While I do tend to shy away from unnecessary human contact, if I or someone else needs help or directions, hell yeah I'll do my best. Just today I spent hours out in the street offering candy to strangers. I came across a couple on my walk today who had a dog that was having issues walking. I approached them, asked if they needed help, etc.

Mhmm, yes. I was just getting this out of my mind. Not trying to be personal, but I was comfronted by one months ago and regretted my decision to aid him. All the poor man wanted was the aid of money, so I gave it to him. Then everytime he came back, he asked for more, but I was so into myself to help him that he didn't owed me anything back which was my fault overall. Maybe I should've helped him a little or don't help him at all as I was minding my own business during that day. I was my own victim, and shouldn't blame any of the strangers because, yes, it depends on a lot of factors. This is the only stranger that I encountered in my life that was manipulative, so I simply can't trust any of them, even if they were telling the truth.

I was disappointed and I now know I shouldn't blame others for this mess because they were not involved in the first place. I just hate to be put up by other's situational responsibilities that I, myself, is not responsible for. Knowing well that I should've gone with my day, I regretted it because I was too naive.

 

[Sheep]

I tend to be a bit protective of myself when strangers approach. That unfortunately includes people asking for money or food. I feel...absolutely awful about it knowing how bad some of their circumstances are, but it's important to be careful. I come from NYC and there have been many reported instances of people being attacked if they didn't give what the other person thought was enough, and I'd be horrified if that happened to me. So in cases where others ask for x thing I usually respond with 'no sorry' and keep walking without pausing.

When it comes to directions and asking for the time, or other similar quick questions like that, I try to help if possible. When we just moved here in September there was a guy wandering around asking for directions somewhere, since I was so new I had no idea but when he tried to ask other people passing by they just ignored him and kept walking. He seemed pretty upset about it. I felt really bad, really goes to show that people judge based on appearance a lot. He wasn't the most well-dressed person but others probably assumed he was asking for money. :(

 

[Hands]

If someone needs my help and i can help them then I do, whether they're strangers or not

 

[Fairy]

Mhmm, yes. I was just getting this out of my mind. Not trying to be personal, but I was comfronted by one months ago and regretted my decision to aid him. All the poor man wanted was the aid of money, so I gave it to him. Then everytime he came back, he asked for more, but I was so into myself to help him that he didn't owed me anything back which was my fault overall. Maybe I should've helped him a little or don't help him at all as I was minding my own business during that day. I was my own victim, and shouldn't blame any of the strangers because, yes, it depends on a lot of factors. This is the only stranger that I encountered in my life that was manipulative, so I simply can't trust any of them, even if they were telling the truth.

I was disappointed and I now know I shouldn't blame others for this mess because they were not involved in the first place. I just hate to be put up by other's situational responsibilities that I, myself, is not responsible for. Knowing well that I should've gone with my day, I regretted it because I was too naive.

Yeah, sorry if I sounded harsh. :( I myself have been homeless and drug addicted and begged for money..I cant help but empathize and have that bias.

The man you were dealing with might have been addicted to drugs or alcohol, and yes addicts can be very manipulative.. especially if they find a generous soul. But that's not always the case and not as much of the homeless population are hooked on something as much as they are trying to eat for the day — which unfortunately doesn't always happen since people assume they're looking for their next fix. It's heartbreaking.

If you want to really help people and do good, volunteer at your local soup kitchen. Help hand out sandwiches in shelters, and support places like safe injection sites with your votes. Help make fresh drinking water more available. You can't clean the streets single handedly… but you can make a difference for a family who are genuinely trying to get back on their feet.

 

[OumpaLumpa]

Spoiler:

Yeah, sorry if I sounded harsh. :( I myself have been homeless and drug addicted and begged for money..I cant help but empathize and have that bias.

The man you were dealing with might have been addicted to drugs or alcohol, and yes addicts can be very manipulative.. especially if they find a generous soul. But that's not always the case and not as much of the homeless population are hooked on something as much as they are trying to eat for the day — which unfortunately doesn't always happen since people assume they're looking for their next fix. It's heartbreaking.

If you want to really help people and do good, volunteer at your local soup kitchen. Help hand out sandwiches in shelters, and support places like safe injection sites with your votes. Help make fresh drinking water more available. You can't clean the streets single handedly… but you can make a difference for a family who are genuinely trying to get back on their feet.

Sorry to hear this Fairy, while I've never been homeless, I did experience sleeping on a bench in a bus station while cold outside so I can adjacently related...kinda..sorta.. you know....sorry to hear.

I don't know where you live, but I do make a habit of talking to homeless people, randomly, just to hear what they have to say, nothing more nor bigger in meaning. And while most of them wish they would get out of their predicament (truly want it), they (in almost the same amount of cases) have an addiction of some sort, usually drinking. At least that's how it is where I live.

Regarding the thread's topic, If strangers come at me with passive or peaceful intentions I have no qualms with talking with them. I never give out money, if someone needs food or water, I'd buy it for them but not money, I want to make sure my hard earned cash ends up exactly where it should.

If someone is being aggressive though, that's a different matter. It really depends if I'm alone or not, I tend to be more aggressive alone and away from home since my wife can't become a collateral victim in a fight or its aftermath. While I say that, I haven't been aggressive in years, I mean over 7. Before I was married, anyone who would yell at me or be aggressive I'd just stright out knock em out. Wouldn't risk me getting hurt because someone else wanted to start a fight. I never did start one thus my hands are clean in that way.

Little story:
A few weeks ago I went to get my 3rd anti-COVID Shot (#TeamPfizer). There's been something that kept annoying me for the last year, a lot of people started biking (cause you know, covid and its implications). There is a law in my country: bicycles are mandated to function only on special lanes meant for them, if those do not exist, they must stay on the street. Sidewalks are not allowed to be used by cyclists, unless there is a special designated bike lane.

Goood, I was walking with my wife towards the vaccination center and OF COURSE, a bicycle rider went by me. He was pissed I didn't move from his way so he could pass since he rang. Now.... I'm a fairly well built guy. Good height, good muscles, good size. I'm not scrawny, so.... yea.... hit me..... I dare you. He didn't , he slid past, I told him that it's illegal to be on the sidewalk (in a calm manner) and then he stopped about 50 meters in front, took off his helmet, gloves off and started stretching. He was sooooo ready to fight. My wife was startled and told me that when he passed I should not have told him that, but I'm a cool guy and I wanted to get my shot not fight so I keep walking forward, when I get close to him, the guy starts going off "DA FUQ MAAAN, U THINK U COOL ? CAUSE YOU WITH THE LADY? WHY WONT YOU MOVE". In the most calm manner, I look him in the eyes and tell him "Because there is a law, and I don't feel comfortable when you break it and expect me to bend to your will." Of course he says there is no law, I started reciting the law, he said it doesnt exist, I pull out my phone, show him and he just mumbles and leaves.

Lesson in life: When a confrontation is coming, look them in the eyes and speak SOFTLY, like you would to a baby going to sleep. It fucks up with the human brain, they expect a fight and instead of a physical one, it becomes a mental one. Even if you lose it, it will hurt less :D

TL;DR Strangers are fun, you learn stuff from them. Except aggressive ones, those just need to be ignored.

 

[Corrin]

I'm not sure if it's the same in the US, but here, if you're living in a homeless shelter and making any official money [like from a job] they take it all. Many homeless here ask for money because they really do have none. Thing is, they're trapped at the shelter because they can't afford any rent anywhere, let alone utilities.

 

[Fairy]

Sorry to hear this Fairy, while I've never been homeless, I did experience sleeping on a bench in a bus station while cold outside so I can adjacently related...kinda..sorta.. you know....sorry to hear.

Happens to the best of us, man. That's why it's important to have empathy and understanding towards people. You never know their story, or the price they paid to end up on the streets, or the scars they bare.

I don't know where you live, but I do make a habit of talking to homeless people, randomly, just to hear what they have to say, nothing more nor bigger in meaning. And while most of them wish they would get out of their predicament (truly want it), they (in almost the same amount of cases) have an addiction of some sort, usually drinking. At least that's how it is where I live.

Regarding the thread's topic, If strangers come at me with passive or peaceful intentions I have no qualms with talking with them. I never give out money, if someone needs food or water, I'd buy it for them but not money, I want to make sure my hard earned cash ends up exactly where it should.

I live in New Jersey. Highest populated state by square mile in the US. Our levels of people who live below the poverty line are huge. Thus many of our issues here can be summed up by lack of access to mental illness treatment, so they turn to drugs/alcohol to self medicate.

But it's good that you're willing to listen.. sometimes that's all it takes to make people feel better even if you don't have money to give - to feel heard and be treated like a human is so valuable and something the homeless seldom receive. Giving them food, clean water, or this time of year a blanket is just as good as well. It promises they stay comfortable for another day while knowing your not enabling any self destructive behaviors.

 

[Zaddd]

Yeah, sorry if I sounded harsh. :( I myself have been homeless and drug addicted and begged for money..I cant help but empathize and have that bias.

The man you were dealing with might have been addicted to drugs or alcohol, and yes addicts can be very manipulative.. especially if they find a generous soul. But that's not always the case and not as much of the homeless population are hooked on something as much as they are trying to eat for the day — which unfortunately doesn't always happen since people assume they're looking for their next fix. It's heartbreaking.

If you want to really help people and do good, volunteer at your local soup kitchen. Help hand out sandwiches in shelters, and support places like safe injection sites with your votes. Help make fresh drinking water more available. You can't clean the streets single handedly… but you can make a difference for a family who are genuinely trying to get back on their feet.

No, Fairy, you weren't harsh to me at all, but you're absolutely right. Maybe he had needed the money out of desperation, but it was not even good for me to aid him then and there, too. Sometimes, I have to think hard for myself carefully for the best of my knowledge of the people I get confronted by through the simplicity of "common sense" as I was vacillating through. I was nervous at first, but after that I felt so much better to convince him to leave politely without owing me any debt. Also, I noticed that he only came to my house because he assumed that I was "rich", (despite he falsely thought that I was his friend). His friend? I only met him once. If he was my friend, a true friend, then I would have no problem aiding him as he made an oath to give me the debt back, but he only manipulated me to help with his own problems. Did I do the right thing? I clearly do not know, but he even made some of the most impolite decisions I ever witnessed, so I had no choice but to let him go for the better. It was better for me to do this.

 

[RadEmpoleon]

I don't mind when it's a compliment or a kind remark. I got a lot of compliments on my Shinobu cosplay by random students at my school and I liked that. Anything else and I have to be on guard.

 

[MarinaSpeaks]

I usually use non-verbal cues so people know I don't want to be bothered (I have social anxiety) but when people talk to me anyways I'll try to help if I can. I don't just ignore people or turn them down cause I feel like that would make me look like a bad person or something. :/