Superpowers... with a flaw!

[Aquacorde]

Granted: to heal, you must take on their injuries or illnesses, though you'll heal from them at 4x speed.

I wish I was skilled at carpentry!

 

[5qwerty]

Granted, but you can only use a bread-cutting knife and must unsheathe it after every cut.

I wish I could levitate with my farts.

 

[Orion☆]

Granted! But no one will want to be near you in a radius of at least a kilometer since... you know, the smell and all that.

I wish I could turn off lights from a distance (without even having to use a remote.)

 

[Starlight]

Granted but now you're radioactive! Good luck getting through an airport!

I need the power of flight.

 

[saniachan]

Granted but with a maximum levitation height of 0.01 cm.

I wish I could walk through the walls.

 

[Aquacorde]

Granted! But now you can never touch a wall, only pass through them.

I would like to always know what the best deal is when I have to buy something!

 

[5qwerty]

Granted but you have no money.

I would like to be able to evolve into Machamp.

 

[Devalue]

Granted. Trades you in at Gamestop for a terrible game. Causes you to trade-evolve. Reports to them now, unfortunately.

Wishes for the ability to repair any object.

 

[Starlight]

Granted but you break something new after every repair!

I would like the power to breathe underwater unaided.

 

[Zeostar]

Granted. Your lungs refuse to aid you. You have the power but it may be ail to your health.

I wish for power to double any object.

 

[Devalue]

Granted. Only doubles an object by swallowing it. Creates the second one somewhere in your gastrointestinal tract.

Wishes for the ability to speak any language.

 

[Starlight]

Granted but now languages are obsolete, and people communicate through thought!

I would like the power to light candles with just my eyes...

 

[Orion☆]

Granted! Now you burn everything you stare at! Good luck trying to get a good view of anything or anyone.

I wish I didn't feel any pain.

 

[Devalue]

Granted. Becomes hypersensitive to everything else. Feels every individual fiber of your clothes, the food in your mouth, and so on.

Wishes for the ability to find any lost object.

 

[Orion☆]

Granted! That includes human and animal remains. Good luck dodging the horrible sights... and all the calls from forensic and paleontology departments.

I wish I could bring back tattered/broken clothing to a good-as-new condition.

 

[5qwerty]

Granted! Now you have your own factory of child labourers.

I wish I could have pepperonis for eyes.

 

[Devalue]

Granted. Cannot really see well with pepperoni eyes. Looks phenomenal with googly eyes over top of them, though.

Wishes for the ability to always know when people are lying.

 

[5qwerty]

Granted, but you also have IBS.

I wish I was immune to IBS.

 

[Megan]

Remember: this is not the "corrupt a wish" thread. ;)

Sure, but nobody needs your power so people just call you the selfish hero. :P

I'll take the power of gravity reversal!

 

[Orion☆]

Sure thing! But it only works on you, so only you start floating adrift. Au revoir! Send our regards to the aliens watching us!

I wish I had the power to charge batteries instantly with a tap of my fingers.