Answer the question above... TWISTED EDITION!

[ReKoil]

Peaceful & tranquil.... then those filthy organics came sprawling out and started ruining everything with their chaos! 😤

Why did you write so many mystery novels?

 

[StCooler]

I didn't write them, them magically spawned under my pillow while I was sleeping!

How many people have you saved recently?

 

[RadEmpoleon]

The square root of -87.

Where did all these taco shells come from?

 

[Zeostar]

From taco hell, not to be confused with taco bell.

What's your spirit animal?

 

[ReKoil]

A Glaceon, obviously. 😙

When did you last shower?

 

[Starlight]

Fairly recently actually! I think it was even this side of the millennium!!!

Can you make a mean omelette?

 

[Megan]

I know the spell but last time I did use it, it started bullying the other things in my fridge. When I took a look afterwards, what I saw wasn't pretty.

What's a good unit of measurement?

 

[ReKoil]

The Unified National Index of Terrans. It's a number to indicate/measure how any species on earth is doing in relation to other species on earth. probably

When did you last talk to your neighbors?

 

[StCooler]

I swear it wasn't me, I was in Hawai this week-end!

Could you do this again without your sword?

 

[Devalue]

Sighs. Fine. Sliced up another avocado to demonstrate.

To begin, grasp your trusty kitchen chainsaw firmly in your dominant hand. Hold the avocado half with the pit in a towel with your other hand. Line your chainsaw up with the pit. Next, fire up your chainsaw. May choose to use your teeth or ask a friend. Press the chainsaw into the pit. Ought to pop out easily.

How did that dog get on the roof?

 

[Megan]

When the dog returned from its trip to the moon it miscalculated the landing spot by just a little. As a result instead of landing in the ocean, as planned, it jumped out too early and ended up landing on the roof. Though fortunately, since one of its ancestors was partly cat it managed to land on its feed.

Can you give me that can of ham over there?

 

[ReKoil]

That one all by it's lonesome all the way in the back of the warehouse? You know it was put there because of the rancid smell coming from it right? Also, when people tried to toss it out they mysteriously disappeared..... The workers on night-shift say they can sometimes hear voices coming from it!
Anyway here it is.... best not try and leave the building with it though.... 😈
I also dread to think what would happen if you open it and/or try to eat it 😱
Exercise extreme caution... 😉

Have you seen this man?

 

[RadEmpoleon]

No, seagulls stole my eyes and I can't see anything. If you find some seagulls, beat the ever-living life out of them and kindly return my eyeballs.

Can you help me find those seagulls?

 

[StCooler]

Alright.

Why does my teddy bear hold a Pokéball?

 

[Starlight]

It's gonna throw it at you when you go to sleep 😈

Can you give me a ride to the shops please?

 

[RadEmpoleon]

You never specified which shop, so we have to visit every shop on Earth.

What's the best way to potty train a dog?

 

[ReKoil]

Lead by example. First pee and poop on the floor yourself, demonstrate what happens to you when you do that by risking your life with your relatives.
Then go outside with the dog and pee and poop in the grass. Then get arrested for doing so and the poor doggo now has to fend for itself on the mean streets, being chased by the doggy mafia while still uncertain whether or not peeing and pooping outside is the proper thing to do since it got it's owner taken away from it by doing so D=
Still... it won't be doing it in your house anymore, so it obviously worked ¯\_(ヅ)_/¯

Stop right there, criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on my watch! I'm confiscating your stolen goods. Now will you pay the fine or go to jail?

Spoiler:

 

[ShadowElf]

How can you send me to jail i already stole the deed to it. so i now your boss cause that how it works in these parts.


How do I go from Casual to Pro in Pokemon?

 

[StCooler]

You need to get outside, start fighting people in Pokémon battles, and extort them if they lose. If you fightenough people then it becomes your main source of income, which is basically the definition of being a professional :)

How did you become an astronaut?! I'm so jealous!

 

[ReKoil]

I get sent flying all the way into space by Ash & Megan whenever I say something unfunny 😉
With all that experience going into space and coming back down, the more conventional space going companies like NASA recruited me to streamline their re-entry procedures.
Naturally this was all a plot by Ash & Megan all along and I'm actually stealing NASA's technology so the three of us can go explore space in a shuttle that looks like Rapunzel.

Why is there a giant billboard in your backyard with the text 'Dome look at me' ?