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Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I don't know why people still like you after how terribly you've treated some people.

=======

Dear Anonymous,

I hope you'll come around and give me a chance this time. I know you're focusing on making yourself better right now and that's okay; I just hope that when you're ready you'll let me have a real shot to be with you.
 
DA,

You're honestly one of the best people I've ever known. Some days I'll be in such a crappy mood and you'll be there with your stupid laugh and stoner wisdom, trying to be annoying. But really you make me forget why I'm feeling rubbish.
 
Dear Anon,

I know I have "potential". Other people have seen that in me too, but the difference is that they decided to go through with it rather than leave me dry. Other people will find that I have it too, and maybe then you'll feel bad about not acting on it. I told you I'm ambitious. I simply don't want to wait if I know I don't have to. I figure I should also tell you. Being told I'm "not ready" for a position that I used to do full-time is embarrassing. I understand where you were coming from in regards to if I had no experience at all... but I do. I can do the job better than a good amount of people behind the desk right now. Shame for you I suppose.

In any case, best of luck. You won't be seeing much of me soon enough.
 
dear anonymous,

four a.m and i'm here crying, disassociating, begging to god to put me out of my misery because i cannot stop thinking about you. i feel like wherever i go these ragged halls of my home will be haunted by your ghost, pulling my hair, brushing against my cheek like stinging nettles. do you ever think about the way you caged me, like some sick deranged animal? do you ever think about those hollow nights, awake and livid, livid with fire and spite because of things you said to me? tomorrow i will wake up pissed off. the next day i will wake up the same way. this is your fault. but i can't place blames, can i? blame it on my alcoholism and the mary-jane. blame it on my mental illnesses. blame it on my rage-induced impulses and intrusive thoughts of ripping flesh from bone like wolves. blame it on myself, not you. because no matter what, what all the shit you put me through, i can't get mad at you. goddammit. i can't get mad at you.
 
Beloved,

I need you like I need her in all the same ways. You know this. I have told you time and time again, and time again you've expressed requital in your loving, charming ways, but then you subject me to this. The sight of you at your lowest is not unfamiliar to me, but to not stretch out your hand to me? To hide it from me this long? Why? Why didn't you tell me sooner that you had lost it? I would have helped you, love! I would have helped you sooner, I would have given you what you needed to get you right back on your feet. I don't care for the number of miles between boundaries, love, but do not make me a boundary.

I will send you money to help with your debt. I wish I were there. I would have you in my arms. I couldn't tell you, but when I saw it, it hurt me. And no, you wouldn't understand it, you would take it the wrong way, but I love you so much that you hurt me.
 
DA,

I've ignored you for two months+ for a reason. You're a terrible person and I don't like you - go away.
 
Dear Anonymous,

You've forced our lives to change, for good and for worse, but you expect everything to be the same; sadly it'll never be.
 
Dear Anonymous

I greatly enjoyed our weeb chat today. You're a bright presence in my life and I'm lucky to have you. I've told you as much but I don't think you quite grasp just how much I mean it.


Dear Anonymous

I'm confused a bit. We're as close as ever but suddenly I'm not totally sure where I stand with you or what you want and it's kind of weird. Still, if you're happy I'm happy and I'm grateful that you've stuck by me all these years and that you'll continue to do so.


Dear Anonymous

Lately I've been missing our friendship. We were really close once, I talked you down and you looked out for me. We talked all the time and in general it was happy. Then all the shit went down between you and her, and I just couldn't agree with what you did. Now I've been left high and dry though and whilst I can't forgive the bad things you did to her I can't help but keep remembering all the good things you did too. At times like this I really wonder if things can be salvaged because more than ever I need as many positive and helpful people in my life as possible.
 
DA,

I don't know what to think or feel anymore. I'm tired of it though. I'd rather look elsewhere than bother anymore.
 
DA,

Sometime's I just feel like no matter what I do, you'll always try to make me feel inferior to you and not your equal. I don't know. I care too much what other people think of me I guess. Just sucks cause I feel another depression coming on and I just feel so alone.
 
da,

i don't know how, or why. you're just on my mind (and heart) a lot lately. even when i talk to you about the most mundane things, i'm happy just to speak with you. and it's nothing new; it's old. it's always been this way. i don't know where to go from here...writing-wise or life-wise. haha...when have i ever, though?
 
dear anonymous, okay maybe not a secret but whatever...

I wish you can see my current state at the moment. I feel broken. I need your presence at the moment, but it really hurts me that you have to be the way you are right now. Space is what we probably need right now.
 
da,

every time i get asked if things are out of order when you're around, i say no. mostly because i love you and don't want you getting in shit, but also because i'm hoping that you'll be able to sort the problem out. but it's been years now, and nothing's changed. you just keep getting angry at people that aren't the real problem and don't go solve the problem itself. i want to be able to keep defending you, but it's getting harder and harder...
 
Dear Anonymous,

I'll try my best to have fun there, I'll probably regret going some of the time, but maybe I will have some good days as well.
 
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