What hurts? (Emotionally)

[Fairy]

Cuando Jo vino aquí hace unos días, me contó que su familia no paraba de decirle que tuviera cuidado y le describía las cosas como si España fuese un país del tercer mundo. Sinceramente, me dejó alucinado.

Oh you just HAD TO BRING UP MY DAD, didn't you?

 

[Corrin]

Grief stricken.

Lost a family member late last year to alcoholism. He was placed into a coma for detox, and did not make it.

Hits me like a wave and at times I begin to really miss him. We got our covid vaccinations together during the pandemic. He kindly helped me get through my weird distain of needles.

Hope I can see him on the other side someday. The friendliest and most gentle person I had ever met, even when he was struggling.

I know this all to well. I'm sure that's what will take my father. It's taken a cousin of mine.

I'm wishing you the best!

 

[Zeostar]

I know this all to well. I'm sure that's what will take my father. It's taken a cousin of mine.

I'm wishing you the best!

I'm sorry to hear. I still hope the best for your father.

My dad was a heavy drinker too. I didn't understand until I got older. He was depressed, but drinking only caused him health issues on top of it. He ended up with a blood clot in a hospital who did not give him proper care, and he succumbed to a heart attack.

 

[Retek]

Grief stricken.

Lost a family member late last year to alcoholism. He was placed into a coma for detox, and did not make it.

Hits me like a wave and at times I begin to really miss him. We got our covid vaccinations together during the pandemic. He kindly helped me get through my weird distain of needles.

Hope I can see him on the other side someday. The friendliest and most gentle person I had ever met, even when he was struggling.

Reall truly sorry to hear that Zeo, hope he rests in peace!!

 

[Orion☆]

I found yesterday that I need to lose some weight. Somehow, that was less traumatic than what happened to me while I was taking a long walk around town after my doctor's appointment.

I mean... I knew I was in my city, and I still couldn't place it as such. I've been around town alone out very little in the last four years - two after my accident, plus two years of pandemic - and finding out that the neighborhood where I used to attend high school looks completely unrecognizable was... disconcerting. For a moment I walked around completely disoriented, not quite knowing where to go - or what place I should take as a reference until I figured out I should head to the big mall a few blocks from there. Then, when I made it to the mall... again, changes, changes everywhere inside and outside. What hurts is that this is not the first time this has happened this year. Before starting college again, it hit me that I lost practically all my points of reference downtown during the pandemic - the clothes shop I always relied on, the café I used to sit on while waiting to go back to school, the electronics store my mom and I used to buy from because it had a decent delivery service... all gone.

In conclusion, doctor's orders: walk more, so you can get to know your hometown from scratch and never get this ugly feeling in your stomach ever again.

 

[Megan]

I've been on a very low low for at least a week or two. No real energy in the morning, yet I still get to work every day. I'm not particularly productive, of course. But even outside of work I feel very much like more of a burden than help. Not that I have any friends or anything. But even on PC I seem more in the way than anything ^^"

Not quite sure who long that slump is going to continue. It usually only sticks around for a couple weeks. Yeah, it is very much a recurring them, sadly. xD

 

[Eleanor]

I think that what was meant to be a nice week of absolute calm after my exams has only been a good opportunity to expose my flaws. I've often found myself entering certain trains of thoughts and regretting that soon after, I've been harsh with myself, but I've also lacked some of the drive to improve or do things at all, unless I was prompted first.

 

[Nah]

But even on PC I seem more in the way than anything ^^"

I don't think that you're in the way

 

[Starlight]

But even on PC I seem more in the way than anything ^^"

Well...

Spoiler:

you're wrong! 😋

You are an important part of PC! You are also a wonderful partner in crime, and a dear friend <3

Today: I feel isolated and have a feeling of hopelessness I just can't shake.

 

[Retek]

I found yesterday that I need to lose some weight. Somehow, that was less traumatic than what happened to me while I was taking a long walk around town after my doctor's appointment.

I mean... I knew I was in my city, and I still couldn't place it as such. I've been around town alone out very little in the last four years - two after my accident, plus two years of pandemic - and finding out that the neighborhood where I used to attend high school looks completely unrecognizable was... disconcerting. For a moment I walked around completely disoriented, not quite knowing where to go - or what place I should take as a reference until I figured out I should head to the big mall a few blocks from there. Then, when I made it to the mall... again, changes, changes everywhere inside and outside. What hurts is that this is not the first time this has happened this year. Before starting college again, it hit me that I lost practically all my points of reference downtown during the pandemic - the clothes shop I always relied on, the café I used to sit on while waiting to go back to school, the electronics store my mom and I used to buy from because it had a decent delivery service... all gone.

In conclusion, doctor's orders: walk more, so you can get to know your hometown from scratch and never get this ugly feeling in your stomach ever again.

Hope you achieve your goal! Health always comes first! hugs

I've been on a very low low for at least a week or two. No real energy in the morning, yet I still get to work every day. I'm not particularly productive, of course. But even outside of work I feel very much like more of a burden than help. Not that I have any friends or anything. But even on PC I seem more in the way than anything ^^"

Not quite sure who long that slump is going to continue. It usually only sticks around for a couple weeks. Yeah, it is very much a recurring them, sadly. xD

Megan, you're really not a burden! I'd say you're one of the kindest, fun, and the COOLEST mods I have ever seen! If you need to talk, I'll be there! hugs

I think that what was meant to be a nice week of absolute calm after my exams has only been a good opportunity to expose my flaws. I've often found myself entering certain trains of thoughts and regretting that soon after, I've been harsh with myself, but I've also lacked some of the drive to improve or do things at all, unless I was prompted first.

This...this is me right now. I genuinely hope that we both get that drive back! hugs

I don't think that you're in the way

What they said!

Well...

Spoiler:

you're wrong! 😋

You are an important part of PC! You are also a wonderful partner in crime, and a dear friend <3

Today: I feel isolated and have a feeling of hopelessness I just can't shake.

Aww amiga, I'm really sorry to hear that! D:
But... you know what I mean okay? <3
Please take care!

Same for all of you, don't lose hope in yourselves, good things are bound to come! hugs for all

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

I've been on a very low low for at least a week or two. No real energy in the morning, yet I still get to work every day. I'm not particularly productive, of course. But even outside of work I feel very much like more of a burden than help. Not that I have any friends or anything. But even on PC I seem more in the way than anything ^^"

Not quite sure who long that slump is going to continue. It usually only sticks around for a couple weeks. Yeah, it is very much a recurring them, sadly. xD

I wish you to feel better soon! And you are not in the way, we really enjoy interacting with you.

I think that what was meant to be a nice week of absolute calm after my exams has only been a good opportunity to expose my flaws. I've often found myself entering certain trains of thoughts and regretting that soon after, I've been harsh with myself, but I've also lacked some of the drive to improve or do things at all, unless I was prompted first.

I wish you - and you too Retek - to find the drive again, as soon as possible!

Today: I feel isolated and have a feeling of hopelessness I just can't shake.

Best wishes to feel better soon!

 

[Roni]

It takes so little to throw me off my game work-wise. I could mentally prepare myself for 2 hours prior to my scheduled time to work, and a light 10 minute drizzle outside could ruin all that and destroy me enough to not get all the things I set out to do that day done. I'm so fragile right now... I think it's because the charm of this job has all but disappeared and I'm just going through the motions, expecting to be able to perform just as good as back when I still had the ADHD drive to do well. I could handle that fine with a non-audio related occupation like graphic designing and video editing (which is what I did for the past 3 years), but now my environment really has to be perfect for me to not enter melt-down mode. I feel so pathetic.

 

[Corrin]

I'm not even good at my low skill level job and it makes me so upset. It just solidifies that there's nowhere for me in the world.

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

It just solidifies that there's nowhere for me in the world.

There is always something we are good at doing. I am sure about this. Never stop looking and trying, and you will find it!

 

[Megan]

Existing in a world where an individual is defined by the work they waste away their life with.

I'm not even good at my low skill level job and it makes me so upset. It just solidifies that there's nowhere for me in the world.

We are our own worst critics and those who critizise themselves the most are usually way better than they think they are. :)

 

[Retek]

Existing in a world where an individual is defined by the work they waste away their life with.

We are our own worst critics and those who critizise themselves the most are usually way better than they think they are. :)

Hate to admit it, but it is true. Still sending you tons of hugs!

Also well said!

 

[Fairy]

Still rather upset about my dad's dog dying and worried if Ophelia will have another seizure.

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

Still rather upset about my dad's dog dying and worried if Ophelia will have another seizure.

I am sorry to hear that... I hope Ophelia will be alright!
*Hug*

 

[Retek]

Yesterday was feeling very alone, angry, upset, depressed, you name it. A major part of it was feeling ignored by IRL friends. Always felt left out in conversation. Whenever tried talking casually to any friend, I had to say it many times before he would listen. Only to make fun of me for repeating so many times. Just one of the many many things that create this lump in my throat and I can't do anything other than swallowing it.

I feel I should give up, or maybe state that I don't want to be ignored, but I doubt they'll listen. Regardless, am not ready to leave them too.

Just spending lots of sleepless nights in tears, or anger, or just staring at the ceiling, laying on my bed.

There's more to this than I am comfortable writing here, but yeah.


TL;DR: I am not feeling well mentally. Loneliness sucks. Need an outlet but none of the options I have make me happy using them. At this point, even screaming loudly for even a second would feel like such a big help. But oh well.

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

Yesterday was feeling very alone, angry, upset, depressed, you name it. A major part of it was feeling ignored by IRL friends. Always felt left out in conversation. Whenever tried talking casually to any friend, I had to say it many times before he would listen. Only to make fun of me for repeating so many times. Just one of the many many things that create this lump in my throat and I can't do anything other than swallowing it.

I feel I should give up, or maybe state that I don't want to be ignored, but I doubt they'll listen. Regardless, am not ready to leave them too.

Just spending lots of sleepless nights in tears, or anger, or just staring at the ceiling, laying on my bed.

There's more to this than I am comfortable writing here, but yeah.

TL;DR: I am not feeling well mentally. Loneliness sucks. Need an outlet but none of the options I have make me happy using them. At this point, even screaming loudly for even a second would feel like such a big help. But oh well.

I am sorry to hear this, Retek...
These IRL friends don't seem very friendly... I wish for things to get better for you, and that you find true friends who love you IRL like those you have here!
*Embraces*