What makes someone likeable?

[Kanzler]

No seriously consider the question. I feel like there is some hitherto ineffable qualit(ies) that makes people likeable. You can be nice and be likeable or nice and very unlikeable. At the same time you can be just an asshole but also a likeable asshole?

The objective of this thread: let's try to describe what is so far indescribable. GO!

 

[gimmepie]

I mean, in general I think that this is a very subjective thing. In general we all prefer the company of different kinds of people. I think perhaps the biggest thing that makes people seem likeable to us though is like-mindedness. We tend to like people more when we have some sort of common ground, like a shared sense of humour or a common interest in a certain hobby.

 

[Elysieum]

Something that scores many points in the direction of likeability for me is simple open-mindedness. A person who has built a framework around them of many unbending convictions is repellent to me. I love meeting people who propel new ideas and are willing to have their own ideas changed.

 

[JamesGoblin]

Being able to endure my un-funny jokes with a smile (likely, a fake one...but i can't be too picky - you will understand).

 

[Return]

Like, everyone said Open Mindedness is one of the biggest thing that make the person to be likeable, but that Person should also be 'Positive', as Being positivity will likely made pleasure to talk to that person, and the last thing person should be 'Genuine', as insincere person try to be something he/she aren't, which sometimes also end up in a fight.

 

[Desert Stream~]

Liking Pokemon is an admirable quality.

 

[Somewhere_]

I know some likable assholes. Its possible. But its more like they grow on you.

Someone is likable if they dont do anything loud and annoying, and are respectful. idk. Basically someone who is nice and has an ok sense of humor. Maybe a smile on their face.

 

[Megan]

You can be charismatic and everybody likes you, even if you're not really a likable person in any other way. In general there's a couple things that certain people like to abuse in order to appear as a likable person. Pretty much, if you are smart enough to do the right thing at the right time, people will like you, even if they don't resonate with you at all. You could call it manipulation if you so choose, though some people might not even do it on purpose.

Honesty, the ability to self-reflect and an open mind are important for me when it comes to liking other people. Doesn't mean that I like all people who have these traits, though. Human relationship is a lot more complicated then that.

 

[Pebbles]

for me personally, what makes someone likeable for ME
is personality that matches with mine
same sense of humour that sorta thing
looks, i don't give a fak about honestly
age doesnt matter either to me
i would like you and befriend you even if you much older than me , as long as your personality matches with mine, same interests, same sense of humour
i am good to go

i really hate it when REAL assholes in life have a bunch of friends and really KIND hearted people who arent as loud and more quiet and perhaps dress a bit differently than most... do not have as much friends as the asshole ones..... why do i keep seeing that in life
i just don't get it
why do people like biatches and assholes all the time? because they are afraid of them so they better keep them close? they pretend to be their friend but in actuall fact they dont like the person and hate on them behind their backs?


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[Arylett Charnoa]

Likeability is a difficult thing to pin down. I can sit here and tell you that it varies from person to person, and it does... but there are some people who are just generally likeable to a majority of others. I know one. And by studying his behavior, I think I can try to break it down.

As R.F. said, I believe that it has a lot to do with timing. Doing things at just the right time will trigger a positive response in most people. But it's also about the way you say things, your tone, and the facial expressions you're making. As much as humans dislike to admit it, we're a very visually-oriented people. Our brains will instinctively react to even the smallest of details without us being able to control it.

Attractiveness will skew it. And acting attractive will too. The key is not to fall into uncanny valley. To make nice, fluid movements at the right time, rather than making "unnatural" facial expressions or being awkward. It's about that sort of natural charisma some people have. And that can make it so that sometimes, even if you say the most assholeish thing in the world, the way you said it or the way you looked whilst saying it will just be too charming for people to resist. That's what makes a likeable asshole in my opinion. Keep in mind that I'm not just talking about those who do this intentionally to manipulate others, but also people who can't help but just be that way. (Like the person I know)

On the internet, these factors aren't really there. So likeability becomes more about the content and how it was worded than anything else. That's kind of what makes the internet a bit more charming and easier for me to interact on. It's much harder to judge people based on these things.

 

[noa]

To me, what makes someone likeable to me is that they are friendly, funny, genuine, and have a good sense of humor.
When I notice someone is really making an effort to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome, I instantly feel like I can let my guard down around them and become closer to them.
Someone who loves to joke around and be silly with their friends without getting too uppity/serious is someone I can really find myself liking.
I like when people are honest with their emotions, and really make their feelings known without being rude/mean.

 

[Ullion]

To me, I get along with people moreso if they:
- are honest about what they say or feel or do
- give me my room (and time)
- not to be close-minded

Off the top of my head, those are probably the more important things I'd find likable in another person.

 

[curiousnathan]

I don't think there is a pre-defined set of traits that will make you likeable in every situation or social circle. Every community has their own unique culture which comes with its own set of qualities that garner respect and appreciation. In pretty much any society anyway, if you don't adorn at least some or most (even all in extreme cases), you can forget about being liked, you simply will not be accepted. To be liked I think you need to align yourself with the views of your community; as long as you have the traits that are respected or deemed important by that community, you will be liked.

However, individuals themselves within any community have their own set of traits that they respect and value. They might be apart of the same social circle which may share the same general beliefs, but each person may value a slight variant of these beliefs, or value something different entirely. Thus in some ways, this constitutes another "level" of likability: having to appeal to the individuals' beliefs. Thus, it's probably obvious that the more traits that you have that are aligned with the ones valued by an individual and/or community, the more you'll be liked.

I think if you demonstrate every trait that all individuals of a community value, and then the traits that the community as a whole values, then you'll be liked. Keep in mind this is just for one community. Going back to my first point, there's a diverse range of societies. To fit perfectly into one and be liked is hard enough, let alone fit into every single one. For example, my family might value the idea of working for what you want, while my friends might think getting people to do things for you/getting things for free with little effort of your own is important. If you are a hard worker then you'll be well liked by your family, but not so much by your friends. Same works vice versa if your values are aligned more with your friends than your family. (This is a shoddy example, but I think it gets my point across sufficiently).

Of course, your likability is determined by a multiple of values, not just one. It's also impacted by your appearance, behaviour, career and choices in life. Sadly, it's also determined by things that are out of your control (e.g. race, skin colour, accent, socioeconomic status etc.)

Given what I've mentioned, it's also then up to you as a person to define what being "liked" or being "likeable" means. Is it to be absolutely adored by your community? What community would this be? Family? Friends? School and work? All of them? Is being liked about being appreciated by only the individuals you respect, or everyone you come across in your life? If its the latter, you're pretty unrealistic.

 

[illumine]

By whom? In a given society of a particular kind, generally the people most in harmony with that society will be 'likeable,' and certainly presented as such, but that may depend on strife closer to its heart. Obviously, 'likeability' in the abstract is more important a category in a society based upon the abstract man. A communist might find different people likeable, for instance, although this depends on how much this rejection of the underlying nexus of social relations intersected with the rest of their person. I mean, a given person likes some people and dislikes others, based on their views and ideas, it would be strange then if they valued being 'likeable' as such other than by themselves, unless the abstraction here was meant to denote that they were being paid a certain amount, in which case the details of such or how it occurs need not interest them. In any case it would imply a, perhaps inconsistent, abstention from personal judgement on their part.

Props to 'curiousnathan' for their elaborate post prior to this. It was a decent addition to this thread.

 

[Bounsweet]

This reminds me of something I saw recently that said, "You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza" lol.

That being said, what makes people likable for me personally will probably differ from some other people, and it may be the same for others as well. Generally speaking, I tend to gravitate more towards people who are both transparent and polite. That's just imo, though.

 

[-Frayne-]

This.

This is really interesting tbh and although i don't have anything substantial to add to this thread i'm just gonna post what i think.
I think it's entirely subjective, there isn't one predefined list of criteria any 'likable' person has to have... some people can detest people for the very same thing that others admire them for. :/
For me, i find people who enjoy just talking and hanging out for the sake of it very likable but others might find that boring and a very unattractive trait.

 

[Deathxgr1p]

Someone who is pleasant to be around. They have cool ideas, shares cool insight. Generally they give off a vibe that just radiates positivity.

 

[Captain Oshawott]

I think I'll agree with most of the people here and say that one's own vision of 'likability' is unique to every individual. Some people might prefer the company of someone who always acts 'wise' *smartass/wiseass*. While other people may think of a silent, shy person as a more likable individual.

For me, I think of likable as someone who tries to get along with everyone. That doesn't mean they don't stand up for themselves when they get attacked, they just try their hardest to be nice to everyone. I don't mean they have to kiss everyone's feet, they just have to be a decent human being towards others.

They can have moments where they are sarcastic, and other times they can just give a listening ear to someone that's in need. That's what I deem as a likable individual.

 

[King Elizabello]

What makes someone likeable. Indeed a hard question to answer but i will try my opinion on that. Generally speaking, a person can become likeable in various ways which depends on what audience he wants to be likeable. For example if a person has achievements one after the other on a section that is very famous for example, fashion then that person can become likeable people. If a person helps another person let's say you are rich and you make a big donation/charity then you can become likeable to other people too. So to sum up and not create a super big wall of text, it depends the situation you are trying to be likeable. However, the golden rule always exist and cannot be broken that you can not be likeable to everyone there will always be someone who will not like you for many reasons so in that case think yourself and the people around you as a deck of cards with some you match but you some others you don't so just live with it it's not so bad because it is great that there are different people even if there is someone negative that does things to you that you don't like then make those things likeable so you can grow and become better :) (I'm good at philosophy for others but not for myself darn). Hope it helps if you want to ask something drop a vm/pm and i will try my opinion don't worry about anything and keep on living :) that's the best but it's easier said than done! SO? HAKUNA MATATA!

Spoiler:

 

[RYOUKI]

What makes someone likeable is very simple: Gratification. You'd like someone better if they keep kissing up to your buttocks. Always the yes-man to you, or you to them.

That's the sad truth of life. :'(