for real

My only other relationship was with my fiancé's brother and it was fun but I'm not sure if it was worth it... it only lasted like three months and we went from being great friends to him being pretty awkward around me? But we're back to normal now. It helped that he was home for the summer from college. idk. If I could do it over I wouldn't have dated him. But if I hadn't dated him then I probably would have ended up dating this other guy, who was (looking back on it) really not a good dude. Who knows.
 
sure; some are of great worth in spite of, or because of, their failure. some relationships or attempts at them are fickle and ultimately of no worth, but it would be pointless and rather immature to disregard all of one's forays into intimacy as worthless because they didn't work out.

failure at being with other people teaches us about ourselves. it helps us isolate what we don't like, what we do like, what we don't want, what we do want, etc. particularly when we are young and don't know shit. if we were all foolish enough to disregard the feelings we have when a relationship ends, we'd never learn anything in that regard. obviously not everything in relationships/failed relationships is worth it though, or even relevant years down the line. it's just a matter of realising what you need to take from these experiences.
 
I think it depends on how positive the relationship was, how the relationship influenced your life and what the aftermath was like. Even if your relationship ends on a bad note, if you learned/grew as a result and enjoyed the time you were together, then surely it was worth it. But if you got nothing out of it in the end, then it probably wasn't.

I don't think I can objectively say that all my past relationships were worth it but they certainly weren't all bad. I'm sure this is the same for most really.
 
I think my first two relationships were more of a lesson that I had trouble learning. They were both long distant.

However, the second one I was in...it had way more lessons for me to learn (the hard way) than the first, because now that I look back to it, I feel so stupid. It also allowed me to do some "growing up" in a way as well as explore new areas. So I can always take something positive from that relationship even though it had left me shattered.
 
I've never been in an "official" relationship with any girl, but I've made several attempts in my younger years to get a girlfriend, with every single one failing. As much as I want a girlfriend, I've kind of realized that maybe I'm not cut out for dating anybody. It's probably not worth it if I try to get any more girls, since virtually everybody my age is already long since taken (some have already gotten married a long time ago.)
 
well my first relationship with a girl ended because i failed to kiss her. thankfully we had only gone on a few dates (so not much at all), but now its kinda awkward.

next time I'm not gonna miss the opportunity to kiss a girl

i know I'm a wimp k
 
Yes, they are all worth, all great lessons in life. (':

BadSheep said:
well my first relationship with a girl ended because i failed to kiss her. thankfully we had only gone on a few dates (so not much at all), but now its kinda awkward.

next time I'm not gonna miss the opportunity to kiss a girl

i know I'm a wimp k
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Well, besides making an ass out of myself in the last relationship I was in I think I 'limped' out of that wreck rather than walked out. She wasn't looking for anything long term and quickly decided I was just... hm. Trying not to say meat here but that would put it pretty accurately. So she reneged on a lot of what was said and sometimes I think I'm over it, but then it hits me every so often.

Man, I need to police the field again, it's been like, a year. Jesus. Probably didn't help that her mother thought I was 'shady' and 'creepy'. Take that with a grain of salt, because from what she told me of her mother, she chose pretty poorly in terms of boyfriends (her mother did).

Also didn't help, I think, that halfway through our second date she was 'barely legal' and I was six years her senior. I'd like to shake it off with a pervert joke, but that would discount all the time and effort I had dumped into the relationship. She broke up with me in an e-mail suddenly, so if that's any indication of the quality of person she is let me know.

I'm not angry or anything, but it leaves me questioning if my dance pattern was right or wrong. My dance pattern is... everything that matters to me. In all fairness though, I probably didn't leave on the best of notes, considering I did what every normal guy does when he loses something dear to him. We crack under pressure and often are left asking questions on answering machines.

Perhaps the age gap is what eventually led to the falling out but I don't think so. She said she didn't want to risk her future or sacrifice herself for me. Whatever that means.
 
My mind tells me that my failed relationships have allowed me to mature and grow as an adult, but my heart tells me that they've all been wastes of time. I'm having a hard time elaborating on it since my feelings are conflicting, but hopefully people will understand what I'm trying to say. I don't necessarily regret my past relationships, even those that have ended due to my immaturity when I was younger, but I would much rather have spent that time in a stable and healthy relationship that would've lasted for the rest of my life.
 
Like Sun, I think they were good learning experiences! Even if it was painful at the time at least now I know how to act better to avoid similar situations in the future.
 
天 (Caine) said:
My mind tells me that my failed relationships have allowed me to mature and grow as an adult, but my heart tells me that they've all been wastes of time. I'm having a hard time elaborating on it since my feelings are conflicting, but hopefully people will understand what I'm trying to say. I don't necessarily regret my past relationships, even those that have ended due to my immaturity when I was younger, but I would much rather have spent that time in a stable and healthy relationship that would've lasted for the rest of my life.
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this but sometimes I feel grateful for all the failed relationships
but then I feel like it gets redundant after a while.
I just wanna marry a bomb af girl is that too much to ask for
 
I think actually... no. Entering a minefield and learning from the explosions underfoot isn't healthy or helpful, even (perhaps especially) if you're able to prod someone else into the mines. Unbridled honesty and a willingness to learn and grow is all I feel it takes, though these things don't come easily to the vast majority, thanks in no small part to the education institution. I remember a line —for its poignancy, I'd like to think— on TvTropes about how army training either breaks a person into their mold or makes them vehemently indignant toward the military for the rest of their days; I don't think it's a stretch to imagine how our attitudes to life and society develop during our school years (though not exclusively from school itself) in much the same way. This enculturation has to be unlearned so our values can develop to the point where they are our own. Thereafter, we can be honest first with ourselves and then toward others, and enjoy security in our relationships.
 
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you learn. that's why they're worth it.
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except polio.

i hope this one isn't failed tho
 
well. some of them are. some of them aren't. a majority of my relationships have been LDR, but i still found some of them worth it. most of them ended badly because of dumb reasons (cheating, not accepting, etc) but uh. eh. i think all of them teach lessons in a way. it hurts when they end badly, which all of them basically did, but. oh well. i mean..i guess it just teaches you lessons and teaches you what to look out for next time? idk.
 
If I hadn't been through my previous failed relationships, I wouldn't be the person I am now. Every experience I've had, positive or negative, has led me to this exact moment. So, I wouldn't say they were "failed" relationships or a waste of time. They taught me important things- like it's not worth it to stay with someone who controls your every move or criticizes your appearance, it's taught me what I value in a partner and what I don't care for- every relationship is really important!
Breaking up, especially when you're a young adult, is a natural thing and it's probably going to happen at some point. So... I'd hesitate to call those relationships a failure. It's life.
 
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