[Life] LGBTQ+ Alliance (◕‿◕)♡

[Corrin]

I'm ace bi myself. As in I'll date anyone regardless of gender but I don't have any real sexual attraction. However, I won't judge anyone based on how much or how little sex they have. It's peoples personal life you know?

 

[Hyzenthlay]

How important is it for you to come out as asexual, demisexual or graysexual? Who, in your opinion, is really worthy of learning that aspect about yourself?

I'd say it's pretty important to understand this part of yourself because feeling no/minimal sexual attraction or not desiring physical intimacy are usually game-changers when it comes to relationships... so any prospective partner needs to be aware of that. I was very confused over whether I was asexual because I still felt romantic attraction. Nobody understood, that, though - it's under the surface of things. Peers have just assumed I'm a prude or something because I reject sexual advances, I don't fawn over people for their bodies, and I cannot for the life of me fathom wanting to hook up with people I hardly know.

Media made me even more confused over this, because promiscuity and sexuality are so heavily focused on. Was I weird for not being that way, too...? I feel pretty excluded from others my age because of this. I haven't told anyone in real life simply because they wouldn't understand. I guess I don't need to now that I'm in a hetero relationship, anyway?

My relationship with Revise formed from a long, really close friendship, and by 2019 I started having... other feelings haha. That's when I found out I'm demi! Although I didn't realise that label even existed until recently lol. Glad I found it. <3

Happy asexual awareness week!

 

[Eleanor]

I've actually learned about asexuality right at the beginning of this year's pride month, and it was really all thanks to chance. Someone just posted a selection of pride related emojis and I just asked more information about one that I'd never seen before. And there it was, I spend days looking up more information about asexuality and found out it fit very well with me. I started labeling myself as asexual, still reassured by the fact that it acted as an umbrella term for many other identities as well, and I found that quite comfortable.

I realized only later that I was more leaning towards actually asexual than say, demisexual or graysexual though. Or at least, that is what I'm feeling right now! The fact that I'm still very inexperienced with any sort of relationship, both on a physical level and on a mental level, is actually still making me think that my labels could change in the future, but I'm happy where I stand for now. And if you look at the other side of things... that same inexperience is probably there because of asexuality!

Some more signs that I'm asexual? Well, I've always been kind of a prude - not so much now as I used to be, but yeah. Most of that attitude was unjustified and I feel like I can safely leave it behind me, but it still lingers sometimes I suppose, especially irl. And also... I've been thinking over this for a bit but I feel like there is a disconnection between instinct and reason, so to speak. I can't quite find a meaning for some of the things I feel. And that's as far as I can go...

Thank you all for your contributions during ace week and, I hope that this answers your question, Fairy!

 

[Morganatri]

I only recently learnt what demisexuality was when I was chatting online with someone who was demi. I thought that that could be me, since I have only experienced attraction to one person, my best friend, with whom I've now in a relationship with for more than two years. Growing up, I never had a crush on anyone and I've never known how to answer questions about the attractiveness of others.

I've never really considered coming out as demi mainly for two reasons:

1. I'm still trying to work out if I'm really demi or hetero or somewhere in between. Even though I've never been attracted to strangers, I still find I have some preference for certain physical characteristics, though I find that personality is far more important to me. That confuses me, since I'm not sure if demi people have physical prefs or not. I also feel like I have a high libido, but no real sexual interest outside of my partner.

2. From an outside perspective, I lead a heterosexual life, so I'm not sure if I have any need to come out as demi? I also see a lot of ridicule online towards demisexuality so I'm pretty hesitant. I also feel like though it's a nice-to-know thing, it hasn't really been an important part of who I am.

Sorry if this a bit of a ramble, this is like the first time I've actually discussed I could be on the ace spectrum 😅

 

[Hyzenthlay]

I've actually learned about asexuality right at the beginning of this year's pride month, and it was really all thanks to chance. Someone just posted a selection of pride related emojis and I just asked more information about one that I'd never seen before. And there it was, I spend days looking up more information about asexuality and found out it fit very well with me. I started labeling myself as asexual, still reassured by the fact that it acted as an umbrella term for many other identities as well, and I found that quite comfortable.

I realized only later that I was more leaning towards actually asexual than say, demisexual or graysexual though. Or at least, that is what I'm feeling right now! The fact that I'm still very inexperienced with any sort of relationship, both on a physical level and on a mental level, is actually still making me think that my labels could change in the future, but I'm happy where I stand for now. And if you look at the other side of things... that same inexperience is probably there because of asexuality!

Some more signs that I'm asexual? Well, I've always been kind of a prude - not so much now as I used to be, but yeah. Most of that attitude was unjustified and I feel like I can safely leave it behind me, but it still lingers sometimes I suppose, especially irl. And also... I've been thinking over this for a bit but I feel like there is a disconnection between instinct and reason, so to speak. I can't quite find a meaning for some of the things I feel. And that's as far as I can go...

Thank you all for your contributions during ace week and, I hope that this answers your question, Fairy!

So you're very new to this as well! In that case, there's a lot to discover, I imagine! Once you find that special someone, especially. :D I definitely understand you on having more of an instinct for it that can't quite be reasoned. That makes it feel more right though, at least for me, like its not a choice I'm making but just who I am! Can also relate to being a prude because don't even get me started on lewd anime, ahaha

Actually, on that subject, does anyone else on the ace spectrum find they more or less only see/"ship" platonic relationships in media? Because I do! As in, others will be all "they're so gay for each other" or "X girl and X boy are the OTP", and I'm always the one who's like... why can't they just be friends? lol. I inflict my asexual side onto everything. xD

I only recently learnt what demisexuality was when I was chatting online with someone who was demi. I thought that that could be me, since I have only experienced attraction to one person, my best friend, with whom I've now in a relationship with for more than two years. Growing up, I never had a crush on anyone and I've never known how to answer questions about the attractiveness of others.

I've never really considered coming out as demi mainly for two reasons:

1. I'm still trying to work out if I'm really demi or hetero or somewhere in between. Even though I've never been attracted to strangers, I still find I have some preference for certain physical characteristics, though I find that personality is far more important to me. That confuses me, since I'm not sure if demi people have physical prefs or not. I also feel like I have a high libido, but no real sexual interest outside of my partner.

2. From an outside perspective, I lead a heterosexual life, so I'm not sure if I have any need to come out as demi? I also see a lot of ridicule online towards demisexuality so I'm pretty hesitant. I also feel like though it's a nice-to-know thing, it hasn't really been an important part of who I am.

Sorry if this a bit of a ramble, this is like the first time I've actually discussed I could be on the ace spectrum 😅

Ah, I'm exactly the same, in a two year relationship with my best friend! I also have such preferences myself - though physical characteristics mean far less compared to personality, as you say. I imagine that's a normal thing with demis? Because I'm definitely still hetero romantic with masculine prefs. This is what confused me to start with as well, but I feel more validated as a demi when others like me feel the same!

Anyway, this is the first I've heard of ridicule towards demis, so I was just wondering what kind of ridicule you've come across? I'm super new to this myself!

 

[Morganatri]

Ah, I'm exactly the same, in a two year relationship with my best friend! I also have such preferences myself - though physical characteristics mean far less compared to personality, as you say. I imagine that's a normal thing with demis? Because I'm definitely still hetero romantic with masculine prefs. This is what confused me to start with as well, but I feel more validated as a demi when others like me feel the same!

Anyway, this is the first I've heard of ridicule towards demis, so I was just wondering what kind of ridicule you've come across? I'm super new to this myself!

Well it's definitely reassuring to hear someone else have super similar experiences to me! Yeah I would imagine that's normal for demis - I've just never really meet another one/discussed it before.

In terms of ridicule, it was just when I was really discovering what demisexuality was I'd often find people on online forums etc dismissing it as just being normal, or that people just wanna claim they're something just so that they're special, or just people joking about it, but I feel like that really dismisses what being demi is? Like I agree that it is not 'abnormal' but it definitely is different from the hetero normal view of attractiveness.

 

[RadEmpoleon]

Mind if I join?

Username: RadEmpoleon
Pronouns: she/her
Gender: female
Romantic orientation: (idk what this means sorry)
Sexual orientation: straight
Relationship status: single

I'm not LGBT myself but I support! Consider me an ally! Although I probably need all these different terms explained to me.

 

[Caite-chan]

YAY another Ally. No worries I'm on the same page as you when it comes to all the different terms.

 

[Nah]

Romantic orientation: (idk what this means sorry)

Basically it's that what you're interested in in a relationship and what you're physically/sexual attracted to or turned on by don't necessarily have to match up. It's a difficult concept for many people to grasp since it is newer to societal consciousness than sexual orientation, and sex and relationships have been for centuries (or millennia even) entwined in the minds of most people. Typically if you're heterosexual, you're heteroromantic. Typically if you're homosexual, you're homoromantic. Typically if you're bisexual, you're biromantic/panromantic.

What is maybe an easy way to understand it is to think of asexual people. You've probably bumped into someone either online or irl who has no interest in sex or no sex drive, but is in or is interested in a relationship. Or to use a slightly more personal example, I am aromantic, but am not disinterested in sex.

 

[Rose Oni]

Username: Rose Oni
Pronouns: She/Her
Gender: Transgender Female (I don't bring this up unless I am directly asked, otherwise I just say I'm a girl)
Romantic Orientation: Bisexual, girl lean
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual, girl lean
Relationship Status: I have a girlfriend

I am pretty simple and straight-forward when it comes to me being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. As someone who is a transwoman (been on HRT for six months, knew since I was sixteen) and bisexual, I try to stay up to date on politics and news regarding the community. Since I am trans, I feel like I have to be up to date on things politically.

In response to the current topic, yes I am out to family and friends. Have lost a few friends, and most of my blood family is denying it or trying to accept it. Despite that, I am the happiest I have ever been.

 

[moon]

Welcome, all new members!

I'm sorry I haven't updated this in forever. I will make sure to do so tomorrow :)

 

[Corrin]

Welcome everyone!! Mind if I start a discussion?

 

[Caite-chan]

Feel free to start any new talks. :D I'm always looking to learn more as an Ally. :D

 

[moon]

Welcome everyone!! Mind if I start a discussion?

Please do :D

 

[Corrin]

All right!

As an lgbt person around the holidays, is it hard on you? Do you find yourself alone during this supposedly happy time?

As for me, everyone in my family just acts like I'm straight all the time. They don't even acknowledge despite saying they are "ok with it" and it's terribly draining.
If you need, PC can be your family!

 

[moon]

Mm, I told my closest friends I'm non-binary but I also didn't dare to request any unusual pronouns, so they all just treat me as they always have even though I think it doesn't make me entirely happy. I don't want to complicate things for them or make them think I'm bothersome to talk about or deal with though. So I accept this.

Idk when if ever I'll tell my family.

 

[Corrin]

For me, I honestly think it disappoints them. Along with my severe mental health issues, it makes me a stain on the family. (To them)

 

[colours]

not out to family, dunno if i'll ever be. it'll definitely be a lot for them to take in.

i also know that i can't keep putting this off and it's wrecking me. @_@

 

[Aslan]

I'm really lucky in that I've always felt very supported by my close friends even if my family would not be the most supportive. A majority of my closest friends are in the community so I have never felt like I don't have anyone to turn to and they've helped me become very comfortable with who I am, even in the holidays where I am closeted @ home. That being said I already know my parents at least aren't the most accepting (downright do not approve or have the attitude of as long as they don't flaunt it) so that can be sad sometimes but I'll deal with it when I do come out if I ever try. For now I'll just enjoy the holidays w them and not think about it too hard. :')

 

[Janp]

Not really feeling alone or sad. My girlfriend keeps me company.