Turn offs and deal breakers

[VisionofMilotic]

What do you consider not tolerable? This could apply to friends, romantic partners, the work environment, family.

These are the main ones that would get my goat.

*Controlling and tyrannical. Picture if you will, someone who must have their needs fulfilled and have it right now without regard to how others are affected. That individual who just won't take no for an answer, and may emotionally manipulate to get attention and their way. Other opinions are not tolerated, and it's all about them, loudly inserting themselves into situations to dictate.

*A callous attitude is also really unattractive to me, especially when that insensitivity is directed towards the most vulnerable of the population like children, animals or the poor. Generous, non-judgmental and charitable people likewise attract me.

*Dependency. By this I do not mean someone who is a dependent such as being elderly, sick, or having developmental or physical disabilities that require care and assistance. I would be sympathetic to that. But someone with so little self-respect that they won't stand up for themselves or form opinions of their own, and are content to just be led around.

*Close-minded is another trait I don't like, stay open to new possibilities as they present themselves. Someone who can't ever break with their routine or who just defends a belief regardless of the amount of scientific data contrary is a no with me, and close-minded/ bigoted views about religion, race sexuality and gender identity would be the worst form of it.

We all have our standards hopefully. Share yours?

 

[Zeostar]

Treating me kindly in a one on one setting, and belittling me when around a group of people.

 

[Ninetales]

You pretty much listed them all for me, Sam! Close-mindedness has to be by far the hugest turn off. If you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, or sexist then there's the door! Even just being close-minded to experience is unappealing to me.

I also despise passive-aggressiveness or abrasive attitudes in general, especially when it involves belittling and taking out vexation on others. If you had a rough day, let's talk things out, but don't direct your frustration towards me or others. That is one thing I will not tolerate.

I also cannot stand dishonesty. I consider myself to be an honest person and I expect other people in my life to be honest with me as well!

Lastly, people who deflect and refuse to take accountability for their actions drive me insane. Self-awareness is such an attractive quality.

 

[gimmepie]

I mean, any and all qualities that I don't like would fit here and there's a lot of those. Narrow-mindedness, stupidity and selfishness are all pretty high up there though.

 

[Corrin]

black and white thinking and placing high expectations on ppl you just met

 

[Palamon]

If you're overly affectionate, I won't be friends with you. It's simple as that. Also, if you're phobic (transphobic/homophobic/racist etc) then that's a major no. Also, if you make cancer jokes. I won't be friends with someone like that.

 

[Fairy]

Narcissism. I'm an empath by nature and if you lack compassion for other people or find it fun to manipulate others that's an instant no from me.

 

[Her]

To be honest, I just can't stand Femoids

 

[Caite-chan]

If you're not loyal there's the door BYE! If you're going to sneak around behind my back and lie then I don't want you around. If I'm going to give you my 100% I expect the same in return.

 

[Kitty]

for people in general: close mindedness 😌 i get it on some points but if ur not willing to listen to the other person at least its a solid pass, but also phobic people i would rather. not.

for partners: selfishness, lack of loyalty, again does not listen to my side and thinks theyre the only correct answer and liars 🥺

for cats: none i love and adore all cats

 

[Wavee]

if hes under 6'4 and make less than 500k a year 😌

 

[Hyzenthlay]

I have a lot, actually—for partners at least... the main deal breakers being bigoted/narcissistic/abusive/psychopathic/dishonest/selfish, of course.

• They don't want kids
  
• Comparing me to others - this is a deal breaker. By that I mean saying things like "Why can't you be more like this/do things like this person etc"
  
• Unfaithful by even the smallest amount, such as flirting, making comments, ogling other women etc is a big no for me
  
• Vulgar/profane
  
• Snarky/dry sense of humour/sarcastic
  
• Serious (I have nothing against this trait it just clashes with my personality so I wouldn't be compatible with it in a partner)
  
• Ungrateful
  
• Unaffectionate (I need a lot of love and validation)
  
• Disliking animals and children
  
• Off-handed statements like "don't be stupid" or "shut up" are instant red flags I won't put up with
  
• Humour at other people's expense
  
• Telling me what to do
  
• Not accepting me for all my qualities - I live by my own pace and won't change for others
  
• Smoking and drug-taking
  
• Drinking - I don't mind if they drink now and then, I do it, but if they love getting drunk/partying/going out to bars then it would simply clash too much with my own lifestyle, that's all

 

[Fleurdelis]

Telling me what to do and what not to do is a big turn off for me, that and not respecting me for the trash can I am :v

Also not being honest is a huge turnoff, I just hate it when people lie to me.

 

[pkmin3033]

Honestly, regardless of who you are and what your qualities as a person are, I'm probably going to go off you if you're around me for longer than ten minutes.

But as you'll go off me if you're around me for longer than five minutes, it all works out.

 

[MarinaSpeaks]

Okay so I kinda have this weird little story, which happened to me recently.. so I thought I would share it because it's related to this thread. :3

So to explain a little bit about myself — anyone who knows me knows that I'm a very bashful/demure person, so I'll be hesitant to like talk about myself very much.. unless maybe someone seems to be genuinely interested. But otherwise it seems a bit weird to me, like I'm fishing for attention that I don't deserve or.. something. Being a listener more than a talker, I'll really only talk in depth about myself or whatever when the other person seems to be genuinely interested. If not, cool I guess! But I realized that no, it's not always cool. There comes a point where a relationship is too one sided.

Anyways so I'm pretty good at giving people my full attention and listening to their stories, asking them questions, nodding or relaying similar stories etc because it's fun! But one of my flaws is that I allow people to control the conversation a bit too much, even when discussing topics I honestly don't find too interesting. ^^

And sometimes, doing this can be tiresome. Like recently for example, I've been in heccin lot of short calls with someone I met in class and we had some lovely conversations, and realized we had some similar interests—like music, movies, etc, and so we kept contact and he began to message me which was surprising and nice. :0 But what I DID notice was that he had a couple of interests that he would bring up a lot, but he wasn't interested in some of my main interests, so I would hold those interests back for my other friends, which is normal really.

But it wasn't until hours of talking to this person that I realized that there was something seriously off about our friendship. Because I realized that he was the type of person to talk about himself like... virtually nonstop. I did try to bring up a couple of my interests a few times, but each time he had nothing to really add and just made the conversation about himself again. And the longer I allowed myself to talk to him, the more I realized that I was experiencing this endless loop of someone just talking about themselves over and over again with really no regard for really anything I had to say...

So that's my answer. If you're someone who's looking for a love interest or a friend, make sure they're equally interested in YOU. The conversation shouldn't always center around them, and if it does there's.. probably something wrong because you could be spending that time talking to someone else.

 

[Corrin]

I forgot to mention messy and poor hygiene.

Like if you leave shit everywhere and just generally don't clean up than no.

 

[Lunar]

Treating me kindly in a one on one setting, and belittling me when around a group of people.

This! Unfortunately, I've met a few people like this and I can't be friends with people like it, it seriously annoys me and I don't really stand for it!

Also, controlling people in a relationship, I've unfortunately experienced one before and it was horrible, such a bad experience that I'm determined to not have again haha.