Oh boy. Well since we're all being honest here.....
Yes, I experience varying degree of social anxiety depending the situation. I have trouble trusting people with my past. These days, people are wondering why i'm asking if i'm in "trouble" and yes, I honestly ask that a lot. People say I have a guilty conscience. But can you blame them? I've been dealing with behavior problems all my life. And, I don't really know where i'm going with this to be honest.
Recently, I joined a mini-social group, and even though I have a partial feeling they like me, i'm still skeptical. Also, with my real friends, I tend to spill my problems on to them a lot, and then it's like "oh wait, where was this conversation going again?" I try to be good to my real friends, but I just get so...extreme with my personality. One person said I act like i'm "trapped" and i'm like "trapped in what?" I don't know if it's my recent coffee addiction talking (I should learn i'm sensitive to caffeine by now) or my autism or what? But i'm in a dark place now guys. My social skills always suffered with the anxiety, but now i'm fearing for people's safety. My family's safety. My friends' safety. Seriously, the door bell rang today, and my first instinct was, "gotta protect the staff and the people in my house!" But it was just another staff, but I was still skeptical of his motives even though we go way back.
Well everyone can f*** my life now. I know I destroyed lives with this post, but it's just internet people (but you're all still valid people though I swear). Honestly, a lot of people here on PC are currently doing a lot better than me right now mentally.
And before anyone says something (cause I know someone will at least think this) it's NOT my current boyfriend's fault. His dad who I am very familiar with by now is so strict to the point where my boyfriend has become a respectful gentleman. Trust me.