2022 has not been a great year thus far. It feels a lot like I'm still trying to manage the nuclear fallout in my life from 2021, and progress is very slow if not non-existent. Recovery has never been a very easy thing for me, either physically or mentally speaking. Whenever my physical health takes a hit, my mental health takes a bigger one because it's always been well outside of my control. I think the only positive thing I can say about it is that I've gotten used to the new status quo, which makes things easier to manage. I've stopped railing at things I can't change (or at least can't change very quickly, or to how they used to be/how I want them to be) and I've re-learned how to take life one day at a time. It's not better, but it's not really worse either. You really can get used to anything, it seems. The cost of living crisis hasn't hit me as hard as it could have because I'm living at home, but I am paying more into the housekeeping so there is that. My wages haven't kept up with inflation, although I've had a lot more than many people have, so that's something. We're getting by.
Positives, though...positives are the small, day-to-day things, and the inconsequential things. There are a lot of video game releases to look forward to this year, and I've already had some great experiences thus far. After months I am FINALLY going to get the pay increase that I more than deserve (seriously, I've been doing management-level work at admin-level pay for over a year now, and my colleagues in other parts of the company are on a much higher rate of pay than I am; I am worth more than this and I bloody well know it) so that's a definite positive, even if it doesn't get back-dated to at least January of this year like it should. I can still work from home, and that probably isn't ever going to change. In August I have two and a half weeks of holiday to look forward to. My partner and I are stable and comfortable despite our individual circumstances in life, which is more than I deserve tbh.
When viewed as a whole life is pretty shit and this has been a shit year. But day-to-day life has been much worse for me than it is right now, and honestly that's all that matters: that I can deal with the bad shit as it comes, even when I think I *can't* deal with the bad shit before it happens or when it's happening. I'm still here when it's over, and when it's over it doesn't matter because it's in the past. Nothing is constant, so really those moments of unhappiness aren't really all that consequential. Neither are the moments of happiness I suppose by that logic, but there's something to be said for apathy. Just take it as it comes.
I'll refrain from commenting on the current state of the world, other than that it never ceases to amaze me at how phenomenally stupid humans can be sometimes. Just when you think people can't possible be any more idiotic, depraved, or just outright insane, they surprise you with something new. It's a wonder our species has lasted for as long as it has.
