all the regulars of off-topic/discord converge onto your front door

i'll give them all a hug because i would finally meet everyone in person. Then i'll pull out a giant bottle of bleach so everyone is clean before going in
 
I wouldn't even open the door and my parents would send you all away because they don't know who any of you are. (And neither do I, I don't know what 90% of you guys look or sound like.)
 
I'll quickly open the door and toss out a cat as disctraction. While you're all busy admiring irl floof, I've jumped down from my balcony (it's not high up), circled around and am now starting to pick you off one by one with stealth tranquilizer darts through the open windows in the lobby. when you're all down, i gather your bodies and when you wake up you are in a dark cellar with only an old crt tv lighting things up at the end of the room. when you press play, it's a video of me in a shiny furret mask, saying: "you took your wavee emojis to me irl, so now i will take a forum thread to you irl. say... weather's been nice today." you agree, or disagree, and you all start talking about the weather and seasons, until one of you suddenly realize that i have stuck you in a perpetual irl DCC. and there is no escape, because the DCC always exists. this is your just punishment for ringing my doorbell without letting me know half a year in advance.
 
I'll quickly open the door and toss out a cat as disctraction. While you're all busy admiring irl floof, I've jumped down from my balcony (it's not high up), circled around and am now starting to pick you off one by one with stealth tranquilizer darts through the open windows in the lobby. when you're all down, i gather your bodies and when you wake up you are in a dark cellar with only an old crt tv lighting things up at the end of the room. when you press play, it's a video of me in a shiny furret mask, saying: "you took your wavee emojis to me irl, so now i will take a forum thread to you irl. say... weather's been nice today." you agree, or disagree, and you all start talking about the weather and seasons, until one of you suddenly realize that i have stuck you in a perpetual irl DCC. and there is no escape, because the DCC always exists. this is your just punishment for ringing my doorbell without letting me know half a year in advance.

holy shit
can i at least pet ewald
 
I can't feed or fit you all into my apartment but there's a nice park near by.
 
There would be one heck of an awkward stare-down as I tend to mentally shutdown in large groups.
Have fun looking at me through the window I guess? 😢
 
I'll quickly open the door and toss out a cat as disctraction. While you're all busy admiring irl floof, I've jumped down from my balcony (it's not high up), circled around and am now starting to pick you off one by one with stealth tranquilizer darts through the open windows in the lobby. when you're all down, i gather your bodies and when you wake up you are in a dark cellar with only an old crt tv lighting things up at the end of the room. when you press play, it's a video of me in a shiny furret mask, saying: "you took your wavee emojis to me irl, so now i will take a forum thread to you irl. say... weather's been nice today." you agree, or disagree, and you all start talking about the weather and seasons, until one of you suddenly realize that i have stuck you in a perpetual irl DCC. and there is no escape, because the DCC always exists. this is your just punishment for ringing my doorbell without letting me know half a year in advance.

im actually terrified irl
 
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