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Serious Do you feel lonely?

Todd35

Todd35

    • 2
    Posts
    3
    Years
    • Seen Nov 19, 2021
    How do you fight loneliness? I recently broke up with my girlfriend and now I live alone again. There is a void in the apartment, there is no one to talk to. It's a terrible feeling. What can you recommend for such a situation?
     
    Time and distraction. It's a very difficult thing to go from constant companionship to isolation, and a big lifestyle change if you've been together for a while. Reach out to friends and family if feelings of loneliness become particularly strong, and treat yourself to something you enjoy - it doesn't have to be something expensive (which I understand might not be possible if finances are a concern) just something you don't usually allow yourself, like a store-bought coffee, a magazine you find interesting, or a better brand of your favourite food than you usually have. It's difficult not to notice such a void, so try and fill it with things that will distract you and allow you time to heal. Be kind to yourself!
     
    I felt very alone during the first lockdown. A bit less right now.
    • Find a time-consuming activity. I started making a fangame. I got a new focus on sports. I started League of Legends (very addictive).
    • Against the silence of the apartment: I switched music for Youtube/Twitch just to hear some voices. I am almost all the time on Youtube/Twitch. I use speakers, so there is no sudden silence when I go to the bathroom or cook or whatever.
    • I often write my thoughts. Not everyday, not every thought, just the ones that pop several times in a row.
    • Phone your family, hang out with friends. It's typically the kind of things you don't want to do, but you feel great after doing them.
     
    Yes, because I am. I have very few people who legit care about me and would put the effort to help me if I needed. I do not have friends irl, really I just have my mother and brother.

    Making friends irl has been made harder by COVID. There's no clubs or anything to join.
     
    Yes, very much so.

    To answer your question, I deal with it - along with other issues - by listening to music in my free time. When I'm not doing that, I'm writing poetry or focusing on the world around me: the birds, the trees, the stars, anything to not be with my own thoughts.
     
    What I'm honestly scared of is dying alone and having no one to help me when I'm old. I can just imagine myself in a shitty nursing home, it's horrific.
     
    Trying out different things is a good thing, I guess. Or going on vacation to a place you've never been before? Visiting places you may have visited already might just bring back memories that you don't like.

    Tbh. I have no clue how to deal with it. I used to spend long periods of time watching videos on Youtube. I guess, if you have work to do you could just do that, too.
     
    Something like your situation takes time. When we're used to the same thing everyday we expect it and when it's gone we feel the void. I remember when my boyfriend and I broke up and he no longer was there sleeping next to me I felt a terrible loss. Sleeping alone seemed strange and I felt the emptiness of the bed at night. As time went on I adjusted and the bed no longer felt empty with just me in it. That being said, you're looking for something that will help now. I suggest doing things for yourself. Watch a movie that you love, go for walks, head out with friends, try that new place you've been meaning to go to, but haven't. Those little things help fill the day and lead to new experiences. If anything it will keep you from being so focused on the loneliness all the time. Sometimes in the beginning people will seclude themselves and do nothing and that's fine to an extent. Sometimes we have to mourn alone for a bit, but I find things really start turning around when we push ourselves out even when we don't want to.
     
    mostly at night when i can't distract myself and even then it's usually just missing specific people.
     
    Only when I think about it. Most often I try not to, and then I survive.
     
    I actually rarely feel lonely (unless I'm apart from my husband) because I'm massively introverted and love being alone - this includes being apart from family. It's a little odd, but I can't help being this way. If I were to break up with my partner I'd also feel quite alone and distraught though, but in most other cases, loneliness isn't much of a problem for me. Persistent quiet is nice and I've rarely grown tired of it aha.
     
    Sandalphon said:
    What I'm honestly scared of is dying alone and having no one to help me when I'm old. I can just imagine myself in a shitty nursing home, it's horrific.
    Click to expand...

    I have, in a way experienced that when my neighbor passed away and there was literally no one left in his family. So the funeral home took him and cremated him and then spread his ashes somewhere. They would then write it off because there was no way it would be paid for. I don't know what's worse dying alone or dying and having your family leave your ashes behind at the funeral home and just never pick you up. I was working on a project for my Mom's boss when she worked at the funeral home and had to go through a closet of ashes that families left behind and pick out all the ones that were vets so they could have a proper burial. I was so upset at how many people would leave their family members behind. In a basement closet of all places. Hell I couldn't wait to get my parents ashes so I could have them with me.


    As for being lonely I hate being alone. I lived alone for a year or so when my Mom lived at the funeral home (yes I know that sounds creepy...) because they always had someone on call to take a death and information if a family would call. I absolutely HATED being alone and would always see if a friend could stay the night. I don't know if I could truly live alone. Ever since Mom passed away my best friend Mikey has lived with me and has been with me since day one.

    I'm just the type of person who needs to be around others or doing something with friends. I don't like being left out or forgotten that and I feel like I would get bored per say.
     
    I'm not the best with loneliness.. but I'm quite often with my fiancé so it's not so bad. When he's working on his master's program I took up a second job and that keeps me quite busy. If I have neither of those things… I draw.

    And if all of those things are out of the question, I play games with a special friend.
     
    Very rarely nowadays, which is good! I love spending time alone so I don't tend to ever feel lonely or wish I spent more time with other people. I'm lucky in that I have a few long time friends both online and offline that I've had stable friendships with for a long time so I always have a close friend to talk to. I prefer friendships where we both allow each other a lot of space to be alone so that helps with reducing loneliness a lot as I am the type of person who is fine with weeks of not speaking. I don't feel like I'm missing out if I don't speak to someone everyday.

    Coming to places like PC helps too as it means there are always people to chat with. I'm not in a rush to get into a romantic relationship either so I don't ever feel lonely in that aspect.

    Before, I would have said yes. But I have a lot of interests/hobbies I enjoy nowadays that means that I like my alone time a lot more so that has helped a lot too.
     
    yeah, sort of.

    i'm fine being by myself a lot. i'm fine rarely having interactions with other people, and keeping to myself, largely. it's how i've been my whole entire life, so it's a lifestyle that i'm used to. that said, when i see people have a wide circle of friends, or even a closer circle of friends (keep in mind i'm speaking about irl here, i'll get to the internet in a moment), i can't help but feel a bit envious and sad that i'm the way i am. there's a part of me that kinda was curious to see what the popular life was like, and i've never got to live that. i was friends with people who i'd consider rather popular, but i was never one of the "cool" people, so to speak. i think that gets to me more than being lonely in itself does. in other words, while i'm fine being by myself, i hate feeling like i don't exist to other people. it sucks.

    as far as the internet is concerned, while it has taken me a LONG time to realise this, i don't think i'm lonely here. i have such great friends that do have my back, and slap me in the face every time to remind me of it. even at my very worst moments, they try to make every effort to ensure that all the bullshit in my head is just that. they're my real friends because despite me unintentionally lashing out at them because of mental issues, they still stick by me. even though i've been an absolutely awful user in the past, they still stick by me. i've done and said embarrassing things that i'd rather not think about to this day, but they continue to assure me that the past is the past and they absolutely will stay my friends.

    to me, that's friendship and what keeps me from being actually lonely. actions that i cannot put into words how amazing they are as people for all the shit i've been through, and for all the shit i've put them through. maybe i've gotten a bit too specific with this, but you know who you are, and if i haven't said it enough times yet (and there will never be enough times), i love you guys and appreciate you for everything you've done for me. ❤
     
    I can't feel lonely since I prefer to be alone. That's not to say that I want to live in some cabin in the middle of nowhere and literally never see or have any sort of interaction with humans ever and I'll stab anyone who tries to approach me though, otherwise I wouldn't be here. When people say "lonely" or "alone" and all that, they usually mean not having any family/close friends/significant others, and not having any of that....really does not upset me like it does most people.
     
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